« Jimi Hendrix Elected Pope! | Main | game night »

Five Other Names Considered by the Pope

2. Pope Duke Nukem
3. Pope Cliff Claven (*)
4. Pope Onarope
5. Pope Palpatine (
6. (bonus pick) Pope XXhitleryouthXX
7. (extra bonus!) Pope Rocky VI
8. (I can't stop) Pope Magister Mundi sum!
9. Pope I'mjustthetransitionguyuntiltheyfindsomeonewhocanrbingthecatholichurchinto the21stcentury
10. Pope Optimus Prime (he's really good at transubstantiation)

From Hubris: Pope Wrestlemania XVI

The comments are cracking my shit up.

Update: I'd like to send my sincere condolences to Devin. I really thought you were in, dude. Maybe next time. I don't think Pope Claven is on more than the five year plan.

Update again: Jiffy POPE! LOLROFLMAOBBQ!!1112!


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Five Other Names Considered by the Pope:

» Habemus Papam! from Absinthe & Cookies (a bit bitter, a bit sweet)
In case you haven't heard the news yet or seen it anywhere, the College of Cardinals has selected Joseph Cardinal... [Read More]

» A-Pope-Lectic* from Overtaken by Events
Sully is VERY unhappy about the new Pontiff. (Post title provided courtesy of the wit of my lovely wife) Others... [Read More]

» Pope Benedict XVI from PunditGuy
   VATICAN CITY (AP) 78 year old Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany is the new pope. Inauguration Mass for Pope Benedict XVI on Sunday (4/24/05) at 10 a.m. (4 a.m. EDT). _______________________________ Ratzinger will take the name Pope Bene... [Read More]

» Vatican Announces Birth of Bouncing Baby Pope from Dane Bramage
A Small Victory has "Five other names Considered by the Pope" A must see. [Read More]

» Pope FAQ - Papal Name from Devin for Pope Dotcom
Personally, I think the next Pope should take a chance and try something new with his name. After all, names have become much less rigid and traditional things in the last 50 or so years. I mean, come on, we live in a world with both a Dweezil and a ... [Read More]

» Pope Benedict XVI from PunditGuy
   VATICAN CITY (AP) 78 year old Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany is the new pope. Inauguration Mass for Pope Benedict XVI on Sunday (4/24/05) at 10 a.m. (4 a.m. EDT). _______________________________ Bush Reacts - Praises Ratzinger Presid... [Read More]

» Pope Benedict XVI from PunditGuy
   VATICAN CITY (AP) 78 year old Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany is the new pope. Inauguration Mass for Pope Benedict XVI on Sunday (4/24/05) at 10 a.m. (4 a.m. EDT). _______________________________ Bush Reacts - Praises Ratzinger Presid... [Read More]

» Daily linklets 20th April from Simon World
More updates on the Japan/China tensions post. Memo to organisers of Hong Kong's WTO protests in December: for a lesson in getting Government involvement, try the recent anti-Japan riots in China. The Peak is only the 5th most expensive neighbourhood ... [Read More]

» Sucking Up (and other fun activities) from Overtaken by Events
Glenn Reynolds, obviously not someone terribly interested in the whole Pope thing, does a seven line post about the election... [Read More]

» ALTERNATIVE POPE NAMES from Begging To Differ
From Michele Catalano. See the comments too. Will cause much laughter and eternal damnation in hell.... [Read More]

» Papal Reactions from Daly Thoughts
As I promised yesterday, I awoke this morning ready to take a stroll around the blogosphere, aggregating reactions to the elevation of Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger to Pope Benedict XVI. Lo and behold, Joe Gandelman has done something similar already. So a... [Read More]

» Pope Benedict 00010000 from The Myopist
...that's in binary, you understand. [Read More]

» DJ Popey-Pope from Unscrewing The Inscrutable
If you read only one thing this morning, make sure it's this post by Michelle, and all of the comments. It'll start your day off right and put you in a great mood for when Popezilla announces Crusade 2005™... [Read More]

» popestarrunner from Arguing with signposts...
In honor of this post at Michele's: ... [Read More]

» Of popes and non-jokes from Ramble Strip
I'll combine the two topics and say: You can pick a pope, and you can pick your nose, but you shouldn't because you may transfer organisms to inanimate surfaces which may then be picked up by someone else, and this could be particularly problematic ... [Read More]


Pope Rocky VI -

Hee, hee.

He's 78 years old. Perhaps he should name himself Pope NotFerLong .

Pope Onomatopoeia XL?

George Andringo.

Listening to the radio and watching the tube has been fascinating. Black again! No, White! No, Black! White!

I can't stop either -

PopeMaster Flash

Pope Fiction

Pope Pundit Dot Com

Pope Diddy

Pope Goestheweasel

The Pope formally known as Ratzinger

I was rooting for Pope OMGWTFBBQCHICKEN

Pope B-16... BINGO

Pope I: Catholicism Up Yer Ass (may have to change to Pope Kill 'Em All to assuage distributors)

In the midwest and in other areas of the US the name of the Pope might be important. Here in the south, however, we call all Popes "Coke".

Pope B-16?? Now, I'm worried, every old Catholic living in Florida knows that the "B's" only go up to 15!

Pope B 52 (Go ahead and Rome)

Pope Shang Tsung II

on the hitler youth thing...

Pope Aratzi

Crusade! Crusade! Crusade! (Go Benedict go.)

I hope this Pope lasts a while. It's getting harder and harder to "find the Pope in the pizza".

Pope A. Dope (He floats like an angel, stings like the devil...)

Pope Sicle

Peter-Pomptis-Pick-A-Pope VII

/Would be funny in press releases

Pope DeCherry

When I heard it was Ratzinger, me first thought was "Pope Ratzo."

Now that would be cool.

"Hey! I'm preaching here!"

Pope Potato Poops

Pope Napoleon (the Dynamite)

MC Pope Diddley-P JC

featuring DJ Pious X

Failing that:


Wait wait wait!

Pope Tart!



How can Optimus Prime become the pope? I thought he was Jewish.

ROMAN: Pope Benedict XVI
ORDINAL: Pope Benedict the Sixteenth
DECIMAL: Pope Benedict 16
HEXADECIMAL: Pope Benedict 10
BINARY: Pope Benedict 00010000

Pope Andrew Sullivan Is Going To Seriously Hate My Stand On Homosexuality the First

Not sure how to pronounce it.

Hey, how'd we get the Jews on this thread, I thought this was only for atheists (and blasphemous Protestants)... Granted the first Pope was a Jew, but still.


Pope on a Rope

The Fresh Pope of Bel-Air

Ron Pope-eil


Pope on a Rope

The Fresh Pope of Bel-Air

Ron Pope-eil


Pope-la Abdul.

Pope Luther

Pope Robert Blake’s Even Creepier, Older Brother III

Pope Pedro offers you his protection

Pope Shizzle

A Pope Named Marcus

The Popenfuhrer
Pope-up Video!

The Pope-enator



Pope Secret the Buttery

Pope Dawg

Pope n'Lock

Pope Goes The Weasel

The Pope Atus of Love

Pope Mascaras I

The first Pope ever to hail from "Parts Unknown".


How about "Pope Benny" for short?

Perhaps if he'd just gone with Pope Loretta I, Andrew Sullivan wouldn't have had that emotionally overwrought reaction.

Diet Pope with Lime
Pope Classic (for you old schoolers)
Pope ROFLcopter
Popa Fett
Pope Skywalker

ok, must stop ...

(I was kinda hoping Cardinal Biffi would get voted in so that we would have a Pope Biff ... "Hey McFly!" ... Now that would just be too cool.)

It's a Da Pope!
Pope'n Fresh?

You guys have done some stellar work but Trish wins with the Steve Miller reference!

Who da thunk it .. it's


Diet pope with lime made me cry

Pope 'Nmyride

Pope Me So Holy (Me Love You Long Time)

Pope Smoking Pope

Well, Bob....I figured, as a lapsed Catholic, I owed him that much.

Pope Innocent... Until Proven Guilty (Oh wait... That would have been Cardinal Law's Pontifical name)

Pope Placeholder the nothingth (I'm Just Here Till They Can Elect a Real Pope When I Snuff It)

Pope Where's The Pre-Teen Boys?

Pope Vee haf Vays uv makin you Catholic!

Pope Tithe-alot-to-us XXX

Pope Up the Volume
Pope-ity Doo Dah

Pope Vehaffvaystomakeyoutalk I

Pope Salad Annie

Pope N' Fresh
Pope Korn

Pope Friday XIII


Or maybe ... Eggs?

I can't believe it's not John Paul.

Pope Salad Annie

lololol.....gator's got yer grannie. chomp.

chomp chomp.

I hope you know you all are going to hell. LOL

Pope Purree! The Fragrant Pope

Pope Salad Annie made me laugh and feel old all at once.

On behalf of the husband:

Burgermeister MeisterPopester

How about POPEye?

In England, the name for him is the new Pope Idol.

(pic by prodigy69)

The Pope of Greenwich Village

HR Pope-n-Stuff

Pope Warner League

Late to the party, but I think Winnie the Pope has a nice ring to it.

Oh bother...

If John Paul was know as JP2 to the kids, does that make the new pope PBS?

I hope God has a sense of humor cuz if not ya'll are going to hell.

And taking me with you!
And I've got the damn pope salad annie song in my head now, dammit...

Pope Uranus II


Pope The Magic Dragon


made me laugh and scare the cat

Popus Dei
Der Popemeister
"Pontiff, ASU, Pontiff!" (Arizona in-joke)
Pope Zinger the Tangy
Sweeeeet XVI!

Boutros Boutros Ghali

Pope Ourri
Pope E. Longstockings

Doctor Octopope! "You've meddled in my affairs for the last time, Anti-Christ!" Can perform 3 benedictions at once! Has "Holy-See" vision!

Ratttttt-ZINGER! (BahBWAHHHH-bwah!) He's the man, the man that they call the Pope! Gives Christians hope! Mister Ratttt-ZINGER! (BahBWAHHH-bwah!) He's the man, the man that the Vatican picked! Now he's Benedict!

The new Yankee CF, Pope "Plays it on one hop" or Pope "All the way to the wall"

Pope Joe Ratz

Pope Eggs Benedict

Pope "Dirk" Benedict

PBS pope? I love it. "Pope Benedict XVI is made possible by a grant from Exxon and from worshippers like you"

Potent Pope-ables
Pope Cunninglingus LXIX

Pope si-cola
Pope, The Other White Meat
Pope Chop and Applesauce
Pope Peterpiperpickedapeckofpickledpepers
The Popenator
Pope-in-the-Box (oh wait, that is now John Paul II)
Pope, Darrell & other brother Darrell
Sir Pope-a-lot
Pope Acabana
Pope Leroy
Pope-Pope Ma (for the cellists)
Pope Sidaisy

I think poped out.

DJ Popey-Pope


Pope Has-Gotta-Band-New-Bag

Pope goes the weasel.

Pope Harvey. Manfred... jen... sen... den.

2Pope Shakur
Ol' Dirty Pope
Snoop Pope

Pope Bennie (with his Cardinals now known as "Jets")

Pope Rocks (don't combine him with cola!)
Iggy Pope
Snap Crackle Pope (with his own breakfast cereal!)
The King of Pope

How about


in honor of the future he will bring

Pope Nasal Drip
Pope-It Notes

Pope Pourri

if I wasn't bald I would wear my hair in a Pope-adour


I really hope that nobody takes "Pope Kickass" before I get elected pope. It would suck to have to be "Pope Kickass II".

Ryan, you could always be Pope KickMoreAss.

5 more for your consideration:

Pope X

Pope John Paul II

Mr. P


Pope Hulk Hogan

Pope APopelexy

And the obvious #1 for a Pope name Top 10 list:

Pope Dave I

Pope Rosenrosen
Pope Cocktolstoy
Pope Babar
Pope Poon (that's Comanche Indian)
Pope Fletch F. Fletch

Pope Penishands, or alternatively The Fuhrer.

One for the baseball fans:

Pope fly (to centerfield)

Pope Yahweh
Pope Cthulhu
Pope Muhammad
Pope Adolf
Pope Djugashvili

None of these are exactly right for a caretaker pope, however....

Or, Andrew Sullivan's choice: Pope Bruce

This link might work better.

Who's your Popey?

Pope Piel Pocket Fisherman

(Said like SNL's "Copy Room Guy")

Pope Doggy Dogg

Pope Benedict with Cardinal Andre (Obscure one for history buffs)

The Man from Pope (Could be either a Clinton reference, or a Man from U.N.C.L.E. reference)

Agent XVI

"Pope Benedicts, count off!" "I", "II", "III", "IV", "V", "VI" . . .

Mommas and the Pope-as

Can of Pope Ass

Another example of Bush's "Rope-A-Pope" strategy

Pope Benedict XV (Just to confuse historians)

Pope-Lick Restrooms

Pope John Paul II, Part II

Pope Guido Sarducci

Pope Guilty (After all, how many Pope Innocents have we had?)

Pope Sixteenth, the Benedict


The Artist formerly known as the Pope

Pope John Paul George Ringo I

Pope Goldenpalace.com

Pope Diddy
Big Popin'

Pope Illoma Virus

Pope A Le Peu

Pope Ularitycontest

Battle Pope is already taken, and very well-illustrated, but...

...how about Pope Art? Pope Gun? Pope Injay? Pope Psychology? Pope E. Cock? Pope Quiz? Pope Ular Front?

C'mon, one of these has to be good.

Ah! I have it!

Pope Smear

Pope Inioncolumn? Pope Ed? Pope Tical Illusion? Pope N-Source Technology? Eh?

Okay, how about Pope Aque? Pope N Sesame? Pope Erabuff? Pope Ponent?

I am on a roll!

Pope Eronipizza is followed by Pope Ticulcer.

Pope Bomb. Pope Rika. Pope Petshow. Pope E. Brewster.

Kay, I'm done now.

All of this and no one has popera?

I know some others have had variations on this thread, but this is what I posted over at Goldstein's place:

Pope Ronpeil I.

Late to the party, but I think Winnie the Pope has a nice ring to it.

Oh bother...

If John Paul was know as JP2 to the kids, does that make the new pope PBS?

Oh myfreakin'nonexistentgod! I had several others on my clipboard to paste thar but JP just won my vote for MVP of the All-Star Pope-a-thon! Awesome event!

As an also ran, and in "honour" of the pedophiliac priest-hood:

Pope Bukkaki I

Panzer Pope

Achtung Popester!

Poprah Winfrey

Popie Taylor (da Mayberry)

Cape of Good Pope

Pooooooooopelahoma! (the musical)

Pope Tinky-Winky Dipsy La-La

Harpope Zeppope

Edgar Allan Pope

I think that a lot of people must have had the same idea.

This thing didn't work...let me try again:

Pope Fallafel

"Pope Benedicts, count off!" "I", "II", "III", "IV", "V", "VI" . . . "

ahem, I believe that would be "Popes Benedict..."