survey says: I just love when you have your friends over for poker night!
Honestly, I just don't have time for original content right now. I am swamped at work, my head hurts and my brain feels fuzzy and pollen filled right now.
I thank Roger and JP at WBAB-FM for coming up with audience participation surveys that I can steal for days like this.
Today's survey says: Name something women NEVER say. (Don't worry, males will get equal time later). Example from radio show: Oh, I don't need foreplay honey, I'm just all about pleasing you.
(I'll send the results to Roger and JP later, just so I feel less guilty about ripping them off)
Comments
"Your right honey, we don't need to ask for directions I'm sure you know how to get there."
Posted by: The Deacon | April 14, 2005 08:19 AM
Hey, you gotta smell THIS!
Posted by: Slartibartfast | April 14, 2005 08:22 AM
"No,seriously,I love the Three Stooges"
Posted by: mbruce | April 14, 2005 08:24 AM
"Of course we need a 52-inch big screen. How else will you watch the game?"
Posted by: JoeB | April 14, 2005 08:33 AM
"Huh. You call that a fart?"
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | April 14, 2005 08:33 AM
"Sweetie, of course you can plan the whole wedding yourself. I'll love anything you choose!"
Posted by: JAB | April 14, 2005 08:42 AM
(following up JAB)
"On second thought, why do we have to have an elaborate ceremony at all? Why don't we just have a barbecue?"
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | April 14, 2005 08:55 AM
"Take as long as you like - I'll make you dinner as soon as you're done."
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | April 14, 2005 08:56 AM
"I need to gain weight."
Posted by: Keith | April 14, 2005 09:05 AM
"Do you want me to get you some dollar bills for the strip club? Or do you want some 5's and 10's for the nudie bar?"
Posted by: UnkFrank | April 14, 2005 09:20 AM
"My balls itch."
Posted by: Shawn | April 14, 2005 09:31 AM
You're right
Posted by: Mad House Madman | April 14, 2005 09:32 AM
"Pull my finger"
"Dude, step off my dick!"
"Would you hand me that clutch spring compressor. I've got to take the tranny out of this Norton and replace the output shaft bearing."
"Harvard says sex is good for headaches."
Posted by: prairie biker | April 14, 2005 09:34 AM
Of course you can buy the Baby Bose.
Posted by: Timmer | April 14, 2005 09:39 AM
Clutch spring compressor! Hah!
How about "I gotta get rid of all these shoes."
Posted by: hockeypuck | April 14, 2005 09:41 AM
"You know what would be totally awesome? A threesome with that single girl who just moved in next door, you know, the one with the big rack. M'kay? Great - I'll set the whole thing up - just leave it to me, sweetie (giggle)!"
Posted by: mikeski | April 14, 2005 09:42 AM
Well to me they never say, "Sure, I'd love to go out with you."
or
"You know, this time when I say I want to meet a nice guy, I really mean it. I'm not just whining because the good looking asshole I'm dating right now is treating me like shit just like all the other good looking assholes I always date do."
Posted by: marc | April 14, 2005 09:45 AM
"I'm wrong. You must be right."
"I like those holes in your underwear. Don't throw them out!"
"Stay out as long as you'd like to."
Posted by: Jay | April 14, 2005 09:59 AM
"Can you hand me the business section?"
Posted by: Rex | April 14, 2005 10:50 AM
"Honey, I think that singing fish you got needs to be hung next to my mother's picture."
Posted by: Becky in Ohio | April 14, 2005 10:50 AM
"Gee you're right honey, men ARE smarter than women."
Posted by: Shinobi | April 14, 2005 11:03 AM
"I am ready to go right now."
Posted by: dorkafork | April 14, 2005 11:20 AM
Despite what I've said all these years, you really aren't an idiot.
Posted by: Charlie on the Pennsylvania Turnpike | April 14, 2005 11:22 AM
"Oh, boy! The new Ron Jeremy movie is out on DVD!"
Posted by: mikey | April 14, 2005 12:20 PM
"I hate my mother, too."
Posted by: JohnO | April 14, 2005 12:24 PM
"Hey, you gotta smell THIS!"
Sadly, my wife says this all the time, generally while stuffing some cheese based concoction or some soiled children's laundry or a rather bemused cat under my nose.
Posted by: Gerry | April 14, 2005 12:59 PM
The problem is that a lot of those things that girls aren't supposed to say, my girlfriend has said, including:
"you gotta smell this"
"I'm ready to go right now"
"damn women drivers..."
"stay out as long as you'd like to"
Posted by: Mark J | April 14, 2005 01:22 PM
my first comment and well, I'm a little embarassed (not because it's anything I've ever said. no no, absolutely not) but, well...here goes:
"honey, could you grab the new squirter porno from my collection. Let's watch that one next!"
Posted by: mel | April 14, 2005 01:54 PM
I have to second Marc that the line women never say to me is 'Sure. Let's go out some time.'
But I'll have to steal George Carlin's thing women (and men as well) never say: "As soon as I put this hot poker in my ass, I'm going to chop my dick off."
Posted by: Tom | April 14, 2005 03:15 PM
I really need to get out there and rotate my tires.
Posted by: Nanc' | April 14, 2005 03:49 PM
I think "What they really mean" would cover a lot.
Posted by: dorkafork | April 14, 2005 07:57 PM
"You know what would be totally awesome? A threesome with that single girl who just moved in next door."
Bzzzzt! I've heard it from me own wife.
Posted by: bsti | April 14, 2005 11:08 PM
"Y'know... I just haven't been giving you enough head recently. I'm sorry."
Posted by: Maine | April 15, 2005 10:00 AM
I second dorkafork
Posted by: francisthegreat | April 16, 2005 02:16 AM
"I love the taste!"
Posted by: Azrael | April 16, 2005 04:47 AM