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it's just begging for a caption

[story here]

Believe me, the Buchanan bukkake jokes have all made their way into my head already. Don't bother to censor yourself on my behalf.

And somehow, this kind of works with the R. Kelly song from last night.


"I do need the money, but you told me there'd just be three guys."

"Sweet Jesus, Frank, how many oysters did you eat? It looks like immigration isn't the only tide we need to stem."

"When you said 'toss your salad', I didn't realize this was what you meant."

I knew there'd be a catch when you told me that you were moving Crossfire to the GLBTQ Network.

Non-spooj related:

  • Pat Buchanan, Battered Spouse.

Spooj related:

  • "No, Mister Guckert, you do not get a follow-up question."

"I don't care what you say, Jerry, it don't taste like chicken..."

"...and in conclusion, illegal aliens are the pie on the face of America. Thank you for watching my interpretative dance."


"The zits...they have a mind of their own."

"The Power of Jeebus Compels Me! The Power of Jeebus Compels Me!"

PB: "If it were up to me, immigrants would have a snowball's chance in hell--"

Voice from the Crowd: "Did somebody say snowball?"

Spooj-related (subtle)

  • "This isn't maple syrup" Pat Buchanan speaking at the Log Cabin Republican caucus.

Conservative pundit Pat Buchanan listens to a response from the Angry Dragon in a debate at Western Michigan University on Thursday.

can't believe noone's said this already...


The Fluffer-Nutter at Peter North's DuPont Circle Bistro was not the traditional kind the Pat remembered from his childhood.

Well, if you must know, some prankster slid my copy of Mein Kampf under that ostrich over there, and I was trying to retrieve it.

Andrew Sullivan's request to lick it off of Mr. Buchanan for him was declined by his staff.

"Jane, you ignorant slu"

Former Presidential Candidate Pat Buchanan's wax image begins to melt at Madame Tussaud's house of wax in this undated file photo.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it turns out it's just icky."

"Is that the REAL Pat Buchannan, or Hundredpercenter in costume. Inquiring minds want to know."

Cut! Great money shot, Pat, you suck cock like a champ.

"Introducing, Pat Bukkake."

"I thought you said you were going to 'paint the ceiling'...not ME!"

and just because I couldn't resist..."owwww, it's in my eye, it's really burning!!!"

"Buchananís visit had evoked controversy on campus because it fell on the birthday of the late Mexican-American labor leader Cesar Chavez. Buchanan favors tighter controls on immigration."

Gee, so did Chavez.
Do they have Advanced Stupidity classes in university these days or are they self-taught?

Anything Ben Stiller can do, I can do better!

Not a caption, but, man, whoever threw that really nailed Buchanan's ear. I mean, seriously. Helluva shot.

Pat Buchanan, who has never been seen in same room with Maggie Gallagher, plunges face into cream pie to disguise himself a la Mrs Doubtfire

" "No, Mister Guckert, you do not get a follow-up question.""

And we have a winner. ;)

There was no way I could have swallowed.

If you loved me, you'd swallow that.

To bravely go where Larry Flynt fears to tread.

Celebrants of the attack on Buchanan should read Michelle Malkin's post.

Oh, please Clark. Spare me. It's a freaking caption contest. It's a FUNNY picture. If anyone wants to go read Malkin's histrionics about how pie throwing leads to assasination, go right ahead.

Me, I prefer to laugh where I can.

PS--To clarify my earlier comment, I would not mean to suggest that all commenters on this posts are "celebrants" of the attack.

At the same time, however, I would concur with Michelle Malkin's assertion that there's nothing funny about physical attacks such as the one directed at Buchanan.

I'm sorry if have upset you Michele; it was not my intent to do so. I see now in retrospect I would have done better to have withheld any comment.

Jeezus, that is one goddam big goose.

Clark, you know I like you. So I tell you this with friendship in mind: you're too young to have your panties in such a wad all the time. Lighten up, Francis.

Michele, I value your friendship very much. Thanks for your bit of friendly advice; I'll try to profit from it.

Well, thank God for the Heimlich maneuver.

Not so much a celebrant of physical assault with salad dressing as an acolyte, I reckon.

  • There's Something About Pat(ty)
  • Behind the Scenes at Madame Toussad's
  • I asked for a Bud Light!
  • Waiter, there's a tie in my soup

"I didn't know Randall Terry liked pineapple juice"

bukkake, bukakake,

fun with Saki

Yep, it's a slippery slope from salad dressing to assassination. Why couldn't I see that before Ms. Malkin so graciously pointed it out?

It's all the damn people who DON'T have a feckin' sense of humor - on both ends of the political spectrum - who are most likely to set up shop in a watch tower with a 30-06.

"That's the last time we're going to conjure a semen elemental at our sessions, it's just not worth the effort to clean up folks."

Pat screws everything up, including, apparently, his latest happy ending.