Leaning on the pedestal that holds my self denial*
[graphic from here, where there are more to choose from.]
According to Rox, Some guy who calls himself the Heretik says it's National Blog Comment Week and, while I think he's being a bit facetious, why the fuck not?
Besides, this post is a placeholder for something I was going to say, but I'm biting my tongue because I don't feel like bullshit today. I may look like shit, but I don't feel like wading in it.
So I'll just have a nice cup of shut the hell up and implore you all to take part in the psuedo holiday of National Blog Comment Week. Because my blog is the most asshole EVER, I demand the most comments! No lurking allowed. DELURK, DAMN YOU!
God damn, it hurts to bite your tongue this hard.
Comments
Woo.. first comment!
My cat's breath smells like cat food!
Posted by: Sphaeron | March 31, 2005 11:44 AM
I love the little chimps at the top of the comments window. One is George W., but who is the other one?
Ohhh....must be Jeb. My mistake!
Keep up the good work.
Posted by: TeamChimpy | March 31, 2005 11:46 AM
Why is the sky blue? Because it reflects the sea. Oh, wait, that's not right at all. Never mind. ;-)
(proud of myself for resisting the urge to fight with "TeamChimpy")
Posted by: Dave J | March 31, 2005 11:50 AM
Oh sure, you already get tons of comments, and now you bleg for more. Comment hog! Just post another pic, people start delurking in droves. Break out the delurking mug!
I think that you should come comment on all us little people's sites in honor of the occasion.
Posted by: skillzy | March 31, 2005 11:50 AM
Great job, midwest man. Please credit that graphic to its source if you could. ELIZABETH@ I SHAVED MY LEGS FOR THIS reminds us why writers are nothing without readers.
Oh,and what is up with both Cubs and Cards on your page? Is that some National League identity crisis going on there?
Posted by: The Heretik | March 31, 2005 11:54 AM
I refuse to stop lurking! You can't make me comment..err...wait...
Damn you and your wiley powers...
Posted by: Darth Monkeybone | March 31, 2005 11:55 AM
You should delink yourself. Guaranteed comment landslide.
Posted by: Chuck | March 31, 2005 11:57 AM
There. I've commented. Now do I get a prize, or what?
Posted by: frobozzcompany | March 31, 2005 11:59 AM
Michelle, my blog secretly stares at your blog and plays Sick of Myself over and over.
Posted by: Hubris | March 31, 2005 12:05 PM
That little bitch The Heretik sometimes lurks around The White House blog too. Man, that pisses me off! Even worse, some times he poses as me on the internets when he finally gets up the courage to finally post his wormy little words.
You tell that little piece of dung beetle bait, if I see him again, I will mess him up! But of course in a very ladylike way. Thank you!
Posted by: Laura Bush | March 31, 2005 12:06 PM
Oh my God, I hit the "l" key twice 'cause I was typing too fast. Red alert! Delete comment! Delete comment!
Posted by: Hubris | March 31, 2005 12:06 PM
No.
Posted by: Laurence Simon | March 31, 2005 12:09 PM
Ooh! comment day! Can I pimp out my blog where I have a review of the new NIN album? :g:
Posted by: David Ross | March 31, 2005 12:10 PM
GAHHH! Blog Stalkers.... Run!
Posted by: coolrobc | March 31, 2005 12:11 PM
you could NEVER get me to comment in a blog..esp yours...NEVER!
Posted by: mr lawson | March 31, 2005 12:15 PM
Darth Vader: evil bad guy or just misunderstood?
Posted by: Ith | March 31, 2005 12:16 PM
Let loose your tongue!
I am sure the comments will flow afterwards.
Posted by: JimK (No Relation) | March 31, 2005 12:19 PM
Take it from me and anybody who has kids. Darth Vader? Misunderstood bad guy
Posted by: Laura Bush | March 31, 2005 12:21 PM
Shan't!
Posted by: htom | March 31, 2005 12:30 PM
I got nothing.
Posted by: Carin | March 31, 2005 12:31 PM
This just seems like another way for bloggers to compare dick sizes.
Meh.
I'll add an inch to yours anyway.
Posted by: Mob | March 31, 2005 12:33 PM
Click on my name for the very best in blogs that combine religion, culture, politics, and lexical excess.
Posted by: Shawn | March 31, 2005 12:42 PM
"I bite my tongue everytime you come around,
cause blood in my mouth beats blood on the ground."
(sung over and over in my head as I was going through my divorce ... it may help here. Incubus, Blood on the Ground)
Posted by: SharonO | March 31, 2005 01:06 PM
[Insert witty comment here.]
Posted by: Lesley | March 31, 2005 01:17 PM
comment. :) there.... doubt I'll get any...comments that is... minds out of the gutter... but anywho...
Posted by: Nerwen | March 31, 2005 01:21 PM
OK you unholyheathenbabykillernazichristophobescumbucket. I commented!
Posted by: RandyM | March 31, 2005 01:26 PM
A variation on what skillzy said: In honor of National Comment Week, you should post your top 10 favorite comments.
Of all time.
In chronological order.
For the following categories: sports, music, movies, video games,cartoons/comics, work, kids, relationships, and misc. Politics and current events are exempt - keep it fun.
Oh, c'mon. It's not like you have anything else to do, right?
Just kidding. Although an anthology of selected emails would probably be a best-seller...I'm continually amazed by what people feel compelled to tell you (mostly that they are idiots, it seems).
Posted by: Trish | March 31, 2005 01:44 PM
Don't worry lurkers, you have until tomorrow. Or Saturday.
I never could figure out all the rule for "This Thing" Week or "That Thing" Week. Does it start on a Monday?
(theological discussion follows, ending shortly after someone emails someone about a "beenie")
Posted by: jon | March 31, 2005 01:51 PM
Go Cards!
Posted by: Shinobi | March 31, 2005 01:59 PM
Wait a minute... You mean you can actually post comments on most weblogs? This is pretty neat!
Posted by: JFH | March 31, 2005 02:02 PM
It's my bloggiversary today.
Posted by: Faith | March 31, 2005 02:19 PM
Ummm, poopersniggle. Anyone here ever seen the movie Very Bad Things? Just curious. (Not threadjacking...I swear!!! Comments about that movie can be e-mailed to me instead of posted on this comment thread.)
Posted by: McBoozo the Clown | March 31, 2005 02:39 PM
Your blog is the most asshole ever!
But then, that's probably why I read it...
Posted by: Chad | March 31, 2005 03:07 PM
Actually, 'ohayo' does not mean hello. It means 'good morning'. 'Konnichwa' means hello.
Posted by: Amy | March 31, 2005 03:20 PM
And actually, konichiwa means good afternoon. Konbanwa means good evening. Those crazy Japanese!
Posted by: hrrf | March 31, 2005 03:28 PM
Worst blog comment EVER.
Posted by: Randy | March 31, 2005 03:33 PM
My comment has a chewy caramel center covered by rich milk chocolate. Mostly because my chocolate bunny melted on it.
Posted by: Jim Armstrong | March 31, 2005 03:43 PM
Aw heck... I'd comment if I'd learned myself how to use this intrawebnet thing-a-ma-jig stuff...
Unk
Posted by: UnkFrank | March 31, 2005 03:58 PM
Most asshole blog EVER.
Posted by: Michelle B. | March 31, 2005 04:04 PM
[Admin note: edited out because even I have limits]
Posted by: Randy | March 31, 2005 04:33 PM
De-lurking, de-lurking...
ish lurking again -
Posted by: TheBabaganoosh | March 31, 2005 04:40 PM
Delurkalicious!
Posted by: uppitymonkey | March 31, 2005 04:48 PM
Nothing particularly clever or snarky to say, except that I like that you've listed your favorite 500+ songs. I'm trying that too, but I'm overloaded with representation from my MP3s and not from CDs, records and tapes. Still, if list-making has any value, a music list is particularly pleasurable.
By the way, your annotations recall for me the joy of reading Nick Hornby's "Songbook." Maybe you've read it too.
Posted by: Peter Eckart | March 31, 2005 04:58 PM
Hi! Back to Lurkdom for me...
Posted by: Annie | March 31, 2005 05:44 PM
...had this been an actual comment, you would have been gifted with a combination of fascinating links, interesting trivia, and outstandingly clever snarkings.
We now resume regular commenting. This has been a test of the ASV comment system.
Posted by: Old Grouch | March 31, 2005 05:58 PM
San Dimas High School football rules!
Posted by: dorkafork | March 31, 2005 06:01 PM
Humorous anecdote: When i am asked for my location in a comment, I usually enter "The Rings of Saturn."
Weird anecdote: I once took an online quiz, "Which planet are you?" and the quiz told me I was Saturn.
Posted by: NF | March 31, 2005 06:06 PM
I was just getting ready to dig into some M&Ms and thought of you and that appalling Dark Side Chocolate bag. I wonder what it would take to make you #2 on the 'George Lucas is a fuckwad' list of hits? I fear the possibilities.
Posted by: Annastazia | March 31, 2005 06:48 PM
Hey, I just realized commenting is actually pretty easy when you don't try to think of anything worthwhile to say...
Posted by: MikeR | March 31, 2005 07:07 PM
The "you" in that last post being me.
Posted by: MikeR | March 31, 2005 07:09 PM
Better than the rings of Uranus, NF.
Posted by: Dave J | March 31, 2005 07:41 PM
How are you ever going to get any comments unless the topic is sex? How about "What's your number?" "The worst/best I ever had?" or "What do men look for in women anyway?"
Nah, forget it. Already been done. No comment.
Posted by: Mark | March 31, 2005 08:56 PM
5446 that's my number.
Posted by: michele | March 31, 2005 09:01 PM
Okay. De-lurking done. Anything else? :-)
Posted by: Richmond | March 31, 2005 09:14 PM
Heads up on a new American Idol controversy..... well maybe not since no one likes Scott anyways...
http://thesmokinggun.com/archive/0331051_american_idol_scott_1.html
Posted by: Michelle B. | March 31, 2005 10:32 PM
Bon soir! I've delurked, and now I'm off to brush my teeth. Good dental hygiene is important.
Posted by: Rebecca | March 31, 2005 10:37 PM
I had a comment but I lost it.
Oh wait! No... nope. That was just a piece of cheese.
Posted by: J.P. | March 31, 2005 11:00 PM
I am the last of the great non-blogger commenters who were given a shot at guest blogging on the most famousest bestest most asshole blog ever.
ever I say!
Posted by: Dave in Texas | April 1, 2005 12:18 AM
OK, so I've delurked. What were you expecting - wit?
Posted by: Jon Barnard | April 1, 2005 03:54 AM
I only delurked because of the hectoring tone of the post and for what? I haven't won a prize or anything.
Posted by: mrs mcmuffin | April 1, 2005 05:31 AM
Must.. Lurk.. Must..not..comment.
AAAAAAAAAH!
Thank you for your support. Now back to my igloo.
Posted by: Chuck in AK | April 1, 2005 06:20 PM