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I hate you, George Lucas


A part of me just died.

I know it's Lucas's property and he can do whatever he wants with it in an attempt to make money hand over tainted fist, but come on. Boba Fett M&M guy? That's just fucking wrong. Darth Mix? Choose dark chocolate? What's next? Grand Moff Tarkin teddy bears?

God damn Ewoks were a slippery slope. And this is the bottom of the swamp.

Update: Do you people not see the atrocity here? It's not that Lucas is using the characters to hawk M&Ms. It's freaking Boba Fett as an M&M guy! It. Is. Wrong.

Still number one for George Lucas is a fuckwad!


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I didn't much like the LoTR merchandising, either, but at least the movies were pretty good.
Star Wars has potential, as anyone who has read the best Dark Horse comics or played Knights of the Old Republic: The Sith Lords knows. I've heard that once the last movie is out Lucas will open up the franchise for TV, and given the right producer/director/writers and modern FX technology...it could be good.
Dr. Pangloss signing off....

c'mon Michele... apparently, you don't remember the days of the original Star Wars into Empire and even beyond... they would stamp Star Wars on ANYTHING and it would sell like hotcakes to little kiddies like me who thought it was the best thing EVER because it had Star Wars on it.

Give up your holy crusade against Lucas.. it's a movie and there are and will continue to be marketing tie-ins... and the new trilogy will NEVER live up to the original. That doesn't make it the worst thing ever, it just means that there's no way to live up to those expectations.

I remember friggin' Star Wars branded SOAP! You had your choice of colors and heads (ie. a green Ewok head, a black Darth Vader head). Always liked the scent. They beat the McDonalds French Fry soap/sponge combo by a mile.

Get the feeling somebody's channeling her daughter? :)

Oh, I heartily disagree that this is the bottom. (Personally, that was the "Ewoks" and "Droids" cartoons - I haven't seen anything that causes quite the same level of horror and revulsion in me yet). Haven't you heard his latest plan - to redo the entire series in 3D? That's all six, starting in 2007, one per year, according to the rumors. And I honestly wouldn't mind so much if he just added the 3d effect and left it alone.

But this IS Lucas we're talking about.

It's not THAT bad, Michele. I mean, back in the day they had Star Wars card sets in friggen Wonder Bread.

Lucas is as rich as he is precisely because he's generous with marketing rights. Nothing wrong with that per se, but there's been so much crap with the Star Wars name on it for a long time.

I also vaguely recall this commercial around opening of The Phantom Menace where Colonel Sanders and the chihuahua from Taco Bell were fighting it out against droids in Naboo.

He's been raping our collective childhoods for a long time.

Still, after seeing the trailer, I'm hoping Revenge of the Sith will suprise me by not being the prequels and, you know, actually be good.

The first two movies were abominations. So why does my little heart hold hope the 3rd will be good?

Above poster is right, I remember having a StarWars bath towel. And the toy landspeeder before I even saw the movie!

But now that I'm older I have to agree with Michele. ENOUGH ALREADY! I don't need to see Lucas' ego on my food for cryin' out loud.

/rant off

Thanks for letting me vent Michele.

Ewoks were a slippery slope. And this is the bottom of the swamp.

Michele, you shouldn't say things like that, 'cause (1) Murphy (of the famous Law) is bound to be paying attention; (2) Lucas may notice and take it as a challenge. I guarantee he can sink further.

Do you really want to see Padme Naberry cereal, Nestle Quik-Gon Jinn, and Obi-Wonton soup at the grocery store? Really, I think it's just a matter of time before the "personal products" aisle has TroJangos and Mace Windouche.

If you only knew the power of the dark side...

Light Saber Suppositories?

At a past stage of my career I was involved in just this sort of thing. I am guilty of having produced graphics for a proposed Dark Side Doritos made with blue corn.

Forgive me.

Give up your holy crusade against Lucas...

Allow me to answer this for Michele...


I saw some scenes from the Empire Strikes Back of Luke Skywalker training on Dagobah, and even though Hamill ties Keanu Reeves for acting ability, it was still far more awesome then anything in the prequels.

Lucas, use the fucking force.

And that Star Wars was done so well that a line like that worked great is a testament to how well the original trilogy was directed and written, and how bad the current ones are.

They should have just released KOTORs 1&2 as the next movies.

He's just anticipating the failure of the final movie and hedging his bets in advance.

I must admit, I'm curious as to who's on the Light Side package. Perhaps Orange M&M with Leia's slave outfit from Return of the Jedi...

Two words: Darth Vibrator

I'm still waiting for Jar Jar toilet paper...

See, all I was thinking when I saw this was, "Yum! Dark chocolate!"

I'm still going to LucasHell, however, 'cause I am SO buying the Darth Vader Mr. Potato Head.

I broke down and bought the Star Wars DVD set (second-hand at GameStop) and what I found very interesting was the number of times during various commentaries and special features that Lucas says, "These movies were just made for kids. They weren't really meant to be anything serious."

Oh. Now he tells us.

Ewoks weren't the slippery slope, they were all the way down the slope into the pit. Once he started pandering to the toy market, it was over. Jar-Jar was inevitable. The M&M's don't bother me because I gave up after Episode 1. The opportunity was there, Episode one could have been about the Jedi in their prime, about their training and their missions keeping the Republic free. Instead we got a 2 hour advertisment for toy Gungans.
I go see the last one, but I have no real hope.

this reminds me of a shirt I saw the other day, and I totally want it now...

it said "Who's Your Daddy?" on it. right under a picture of Darth Vader.

see? that's funny.

Dark (side of the Force) M&M's? please. i suppose a midichlorian count will be included in with the nutritional information?

At least they didn't abuse any Twi'leks... yet anyway..

it said "Who's Your Daddy?" on it. right under a picture of Darth Vader.

Heh. My brother has that shirt. I believe you can find them at your local Hot Topic.

I think it's pretty obvious what has happened. The first three Star Wars movies were produced by an unsung hero to prep us for the days when we might need to engage in space combat or utilize the force against an invading alien empire. How many of us were turned towards science fiction thanks to Lucas? Now, however, the alien overlords have traveled back in time to prevent the rise of a Force-powered resistance through the simple yet effective method of utterly disillusioning us from our beliefs in the goodness of the Jedi. This "Lucas" we see in the media is either a) an alien shapeshifter b) some sort of cyborg or c) the real Lucas who has been taken over by an alien mind control parasite. Note how large "Lucas's" neck is. That is obviously the abode of the parasite: right at the base of the brain stem. The only thing that can save us now is for us to repudiate the existance of the second "Unholy" Trilogy, and return to the one true Trilogy.

Help us, Obi-Wan Kenobi! You're our only hope!

...Darth chocolate?

Miss Piggy (on Varth Dader): Oh give me a break!

if you enjoy them in an ironic way, is it ok then?

'cos like that other poster, my main response was "oooh, dark chocolate M&Ms"

The Star Wars Attack of the Clones cartoon on Toonami is actually rather good.

You know it's Armageddon when you see Princess Leia feminine hygiene spray...

I don't have a strong opinion about Mr. Fett being an M&M guy. But I am happy to learn that there are dark chocolate peanut Ms.

If you haven't seen this yet, it only gets worse...

"You know it's Armageddon when you see Princess Leia feminine hygiene spray..."

"Princess Leia's Rebel Sprunt - because nobody should have to live with the foulness of their Darkside"

(With all due respect to George Carlin)