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you can take your remake and your "re-envisionings" and shove 'em straignt up your ass!

WHEN WILL IT END? FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED FROM MY CHILDHOOD, WHEN WILL YOU. FUCKING. STOP. SCREWING. AROUND. WITH. MY. CLASSICS????


WHAT HAPPENED TO CHICO'S BAIL BONDS?? AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO
TANNER?? HOW COULD YOU??

/end screaming jag

I weep for my children. All their movie memories will abominations of MY movie memories.

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Since it's snowing here and the Clones just got thrown out of the Big XII tournament by that beeee-yotch Bobby Knight, I thought I could use a little pick me up. Yesterday, Michele posted a link to this film. (Which... [Read More]

Comments

yanno, i said the same thing when they fucked with Fat Albert.

yo, H'wood. how about an original idea? or damn, at least twist the old idea a little...

i'm convinced that "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle" is based on Homer's "The Odyssey."

If they screw with "Harold and Maude" I will go out there and make them pay.

Well...at least Richard Linklater is directing it.

I mean th-that's gotta count for something, right?

Well, all they have to do now is remake "Jaws", "The Car", and "The Exorcist" and I will have no childhood left.

And don't think they won't do it. Original ideas have been outlawed under the rule of Governor Terminator. Everything now has to be a simulacrum of something that has an analogue buried at least twenty-five years in the past or it's just not an idea.

Adam Sandler in The Longest Yard???

Oh dear god, the humanity.....

I just watched that last night! (the real one)

I can only imagine the one-liners in this remake piece of shit. I can garauntee there won't be the smirk about "All we got on this team are a bunch of jews, spicks, niggers, pansies and a booger eating moron.

They'd burn down movie theatres across the country.

Instead we'll get:
What do you expect? All we got on this team are differently abled, equally promising, unique and special individuals with a lot of heart to fight through their developing skills.

Oy!

I imagine it will end if our demographic becomes suddenly and deeply poor.

Otherwise (and you might as well get ready for it cause we're getting wealthier), I think it will go on for a long, long time.

"Let Freedom Ring"!

oh. and all your memories are belong to us.

Don't forget the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Marilyn Manson trying to play Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka. GRRRRR.

And don't forget that Brian's Song (the ultimate tearjerker) was remade. As a TV movie. God help us all.

Dare I say, Revenge of the Sith looks better and better now...

Don't forget the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Marilyn Manson trying to play Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka. GRRRRR.

You mean this one, coming out this year, with Johnny Depp as Wonka?

Dude, update your rumor mill. Yours is still functioning in 2002.

"I weep for my children. All their movie memories will abominations of MY movie memories."

Michelle: only if you are foolish enough to take them to see the remakes.

Which is, after all, what the studios want you to do.

Show your kids the originals on DVD, let'em watch the remakes on cable. Then they can decide which is 'better'.

Sadly, their memories aren't your memories, just like yours (and mine) aren't those of our respective parents.

And that's probably a good thing.

Even the show that invented reinvention is being reinvented:

"I'm afraid I didn't catch your name, Mister...?"

"Doctor."

Don't forget that they are remaking THE FOG.

What is so wrong with the original?

Oh I dunno. I'm of the opinion that they could do another remake of "The Mask". What about "The Tarring, Feathering, And Public Flogging Of The Screenwriters For 'Son Of The Mask'"? If that were a theatrical performance it might make even MORE money!

Billy Bob Thornton is no Walter Matthaw, and Greg Kinnear is no Vic Morrow. I fear this flick will be destroyed by the attempt to make it PC sensetive and will have the short run and lousy DVD sales it deserves.

There is a reason I never comment in blogs. Having been screamed at by a dozen friends, I just now find out it's Johnny Depp not Marilyn Manson. Whatever. My point is the same.

Now I go back to "non-commenting" mode.

(blush)

Your point is still very valid, Jeannine.

Up next raping your childhood:
Herbie
Dukes of Hazzard

:(

El Dietcrack (interesting handle, by the way), you have officially ruined my day by pointing out they are doing a remake of Dukes of Hazzard. Can't we leave my favorite TV show when I was five alone? Looking at the cast, I've never heard of anyone except Jessica Simpson and, uh, Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg? WTF? I'd rather watch Norm McDonald impersonate Burt Reynolds impersonating Boss Hogg than that.

Other than that, I haven't seen The Bad News Bears in like twenty years (sad to say, I remember The Bad News Bears Go To Japan better). I remember Mathau played a drunk, but didn't the kids also drink and smoke? There's no way that'll play today.

Maybe I'm not in the majority here, but I really don't care if something good is remade into something crappy. The good version still exists, right?

And was there ever a "good" version of Herbie, Dukes of Hazzard, Fat Albert, Brady Bunch, Scooby Doo, or all that other crap from childhood? There was an inept reimagining of Land of the Lost, too. But it's not as if the originals were something Moses delivered on Betamax tablets.

I'm just damn glad that Lord of the Rings got redone. And I won't really mind when someone else does it in twenty years. Maybe Keanu Reeves or Rick Schroeder will have the gravitas to play Gandalf by then.