A Small Victory

Michele, head right over to HOG ON ICE. It's Food Porn for bloggers when it's not railing about whatever else is going on in the world. When Steve H. and Val get bored, they toss a pig on a spit. And Steve is trying to figure out how to chop a whale up for proper smoking.

We can't be against vegans? :(

http://www.lyricsondemand.com/q/queerslyrics/stupidfuckingveganlyrics.html

I still like this song anyway.

Slartibartfast's EASY Pork Chop Pie

1 lb lean pork chops - cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1 frozen pie crust
1 Pillsbury® refrigerated Pie crust top
1 cup All-Purpose flour
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp ground sage
1/4 tsp cayene pepper
Apprx 1 cup milk

Mix flour and spices in 1-gallon storage bag. Add meat. Close bag and shake until flour mixture covers pork cubes. Pour into pie crust (including leftover flour mixture). Pour milk into pie crust, stopping at 1/4 inch from edge. Place refrigerated pie crust top on lower crust, trim and cut slits into top. Bake at 400 degrees 45-60 minutes. Crust will be lightly browned. Let cool for 15 minutes and serve.

This was our favorite recipe as newlyweds because it's so easy. I'm guessing on the amounts of the ingredients because in the South we just "use the force". Feel free to change the spices to fit your taste.

If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat, that's what I say.

Pass the A-1.

There's plenty of room for all God's creatures.......

.....right next to the mashed potatoes!

Nanny's Brisket

1)take out second mortgage to pay for brisket.
2)peel 2-3 onions and chop finely in food processor(should be slightly liquidy)
3)wash brisket in cold water
(kosher brisket works best because it's been salted-brined for you goyim)
4)rub brisket with salt,pepper garlic powder, and lots of paprika- it should make a kind of paste.
5)place brisket in roasting pan and smother both sides with onion puree.
6)put water in pan, about halfway up side of brisket- it doesn't take much water.
7)roast in 350 degree oven for 2-4 hours until tender, basting occasionally.add water as needed to make some gravy.
8) serve sliced thinly with toasted egg barley and sliced mushrooms and gravy from brisket.
ess tattele! (you could call more often-it wouldn't kill you!)

Vegan/vegetarian dishes are okay, as long as they're shaped like meat or given a PETA-offensive name ("Nanny's Baby Seal Tofuburgers", etc.).

I'm with diconnect. It they truly want to get into the spirit of things, they need to do it right! Turkey-shaped Tofu for all!

mdmhvonpa's meat-o-rama

1: Acquisition
Go out and find the cheapest truck you can buy ... 50-125$ is a good range. Drive about and collect/create as much road kill as possible. Try not to get stuck in a ditch if you need to leave the road for a hit.

2:Preperation
Remove hood (if it is still there) from truck and throw kill onto engine. It's best if you remove the fur/guts first, but not necessary. This can be done WHILE you're 'hunting' so bring rope, staples or bungie cords.

3:Dig in!
It helps if you have a chainsaw, but a sharp bowie knife is all you need. Enjoy!

Note of caution: Stay away from the PETA protesters. Sure, they are slow moving animals ... but they are stringy and have very little nutritional value.

Oh, definitely do the tofu recipes. A vegan who is against PETA understands completely why IEAPD was created.

I am NOT for cruelty to animals, or against vegetarians. I am against lies, offensiveness, and, well, PETA.

My recipe for IEAPD: Go to restaurant. Choose meal. Enjoy.

Heh.

Deep-Fried Turkey:
1 Turkey
1 jar favorite marinade
Garlic salt
Black Pepper
Dried Chile Peppers (any type will do)

First buy the 'extremely dangerous turkey fryer' or fish cooker.Remove giblets from turkey and wash in cold water, then pat dry with paper towels. Then fill a flavor injector, or hypodermic needle, and proceed to shoot the turkey up with marinade like Courtney Love on a 3 day binge. Next rub outside of turkey with a mix of garlic salt, black pepper, and chiles. Proceed to deep fry the sucker.
Eat and enjoy, after removing from the cooker of course.

What says PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) better than Veal? I personally like this Veal Piccata recipe:

1 pound veal scallops
Flour for Dredging
1 T. Salt
½ T. White Pepper
½ T. Coarse Black Pepper
2 T. Olive Oil
6 T. Unsalted Butter
½ C. Dry White Wine
¼ Cup Fresh Lemon Juice w/ Zest
2 Cloves chopped fresh Garlic
Chopped Fresh Basil and Parsley to taste

Put your flour, salt, white and black pepper in a shallow pan and mix well. Now take your veal scallops and dredge them in the flour mixture - I like to do each twice to ensure a good coating, but remember to shake off any excess flour. Next we heat the olive oil and 2 T of butter in a large skillet over high heat, the butter is essential in the depth of flavor it adds to the veal, and sauté the veal scallops until lightly browned - 2 to 3 minutes per side. Now remove the veal and reduce the heat to medium. Add the remaining butter and sauté the chopped garlic until it begins to brown slightly, about 3 minutes, before adding the chopped Basil and Parsley. Give these a stir for just a minute or so, allowing them to wilt and release their flavor, then add the wine and lemon juice, reduce the heat to low and continue to cook for another 3 to 5 minutes. Finally return the veal to the pan and bring up the heat just a touch (medium-low) simmer for about 2 minutes.

Service should be immediate with some of the sauce spooned over the veal scallop. I find that steamed asparagus and a nice asiago risotto compliment the dish very well.

Beer, Beef, & Cheese Soup

2 Tb olive oil
3/4 cup minced onion
3/4 cup sliced carrots
3/4 cup shredded cabbage (or sliced celery)
1/4 cup flour
3-4 small diced potatos
3 cups chicken stock (or broth)
3/4 bottle of beer
1/2 tsp mustard powder
1/2 tsp granulated garlic
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 cup milk
1/4 tsp worcestershire sauce
1 lb stew beef (bite-sized)
~1/2 - 3/4 lb grated cheddar

Heat the oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add the onion, cabbage, and carrots and cook for about 15 minutes (or until the carrots are tender), stirring to prevent sticking. Stir in the flour and cook for one minute. Add the potatos, stock, and beer. Bring to a boil and cook for about 15 minutes, or until the potatos are tender. Add mustard, garlic, salt, pepper, and cayenne. Combine milk and worcestershire in a bowl and stir into the soup. Stir in the beef and stir in the cheese until the soup has a nice thick smooth texture.

During the "cook until soft" parts, cook the beef in a bit of olive oil with a bit of kosher salt, pepper, and granulated garlic.

Well, any PETA members who read the NYT can always do tofu burgers.

They can call them "fake, but accurate."

Myself, well here's hoping we don't get ANOTHER #@$%*(@%*(&#@ ice storm and I can fire up the grill (to answer a previous poll on this site, I'm a Hank not a Homer.) The only question is, does a big ol' hunk o steak count as an "animal?"

Heck, you can get fifty of those of a single cow. I'm leaning towards "Beer can chicken." I did it once a while ago, and if I can find the recipe I used I'll post it. It's amazing what you can do with a chicken if you stuff a beer can up it's butt.

On second thought, this crowd might take that out of context. Bummer.

The point being my wife and I will have our own animal killed just for the two of us. Now that's a holiday.

Since they combined Washington and Lincoln's birthdays into Presidents' Day, maybe you could combine this with Steak & BJ Day.

I say let the vegans and veggies in. Pisses off PETA even more!
Steaks all 'round at our house!

Dammit! Now I have to dig for my Veal meatloaf recipe to share.

Hmmm... a couple weeks out from Easter. But, of course! Something cute and fluffy and season's appropriate for one's plate:

LAMB!

1 5-6 lb leg o'lamb, boned & butterflied

1 cup olive oil
3/4 cup red wine
juice of 2 lemons
2 cloves garlic, minced
fresh ground black pepper
kosher salt
mint leaves (bruised)

Marinate the lamb in a marinade made of the remaining ingredients for a least two hours. BBQ like a steak over hot coals for about 45 minutes, turning a couple of times (lamb is done when still lightly pink at center). Cut on the bias.

....mmm...lamb...mmmm

...I recommend anything from "Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man..."

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0595318452/qid=1110483652/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/103-5719336-5513461

"This collection of humor essays by Miami-area writer Steve H. Graham contains about two dozen recipes that are as deadly as they are delicious.

Learn to make treats such as yeast-raised doughnuts deep-fried in lard, chicken-fried ribeye on a giant bacon-grease biscuit, coconut flan with seven egg yolks, five-hundred-calorie brownies, and hash-brown Yukon Gold casserole with cheese and over a pint of sour cream."

That oughta do it.

...and if God didn't want us to eat meat, she wouldn't have given us incisors & canines. (Teeth, that is.)