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movie review haiku

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

motorhead. patrick,
in fishnets and fuck me pumps.
ride the hasselhoff


diamond dave. patrick,
nude buttcheeks clenching a flag
ride the hasselhoff

[finally saw it. liked it a lot.]

[upon further thought: this was a rather grown up kind of movie, visiting themes such as getting shit faced drunk and paying for it the next day, and naked buttcheeks.]

[oh, if anyone could find a still of patrick in the fishnets, that would be great, because i can't find one anywhere. just for posterity, sicko.]

[p.p.p.s: Cap Alert gave the movie it's flashing-red-light-make-the=baby-jesus-cry rating.]

[heheeh, mr. krabbs said jackass. hehehe]


Does that mean you're now a Goofy Goober?

KB, I think we're all a Goofy Goober. Some of us just learn to embrace it.

Oh I'm a goofy goober yeah
You're a goofy goober yeah
Were all goofy goobers yeah
Goofy goofy goober goober yeah

Here's Patrick in a fishnet.

Wow, that was a bad joke. Please don't ban me. I would note that a patrick fishnet Google image search leads only to tastefully lit photos of a certain Tera Patrick (when SafeSearch is turned off, at least).

I thought the movie was kickass: "His chops are too righteous!"

can i tell you how much Cap Alert makes me embarassed to be a Christian? I just want to apologize to everyone on behalf of the saner, more culture-appreciating segments of Christian society. ack.


If you've got a DVD drive in your computer...simply pause it where you want it and do a screen capture. It's okay...I'm on my second cup of coffee.

My son has been wandering around the house alternating between "I'm ready... promotion!", the Goofy Goober theme, the "bubble-blowing babies" spiel that I can't remember, and re-enacting the Hasselhoff pectoral launcher.

I'm not sure whether to beam, laugh, or smash the DVD into smithereens.

diamond dave. patrick,
nude buttcheeks clenching a flag
ride the hasselhoff

Dammit, Michele...how am I supposed to work with imagery like that slapping me in the face...:(

My favourite CAP alert line is from their review of Spiderman. It losses points in the "Offense to God" catagory because of:

promotion of evolution - "new species completed" with DNA sequencing pictorials

oh lord, we watched that this weekend and i can't get that goofy goober song out of my head...