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Dear Martin Scorcese [now with mp3 goodness]

I love you. I really do. I like you much more than I like your nemesis, Clint Eastwood. In the long run, you're the one who will retire with a clean concscience, because you never co-starred in a movie with a monkey. Or with Sondra Locke. Yea, I know Eastwood made some great films in his time, but he was in Drowning Dead Pool [damn me for not proofreading] (in addition to the monkey movies) and that really negates a lot of his Good, Bad and Ugly mojo. You, on the other hand, have nothing to be sorry for. You never tried to pull a BJ and the Bear moment on your fans, Marty. You have integrity, unlike a guy who would make a movie out of one of the most treacly, overwrought, sentimental pieces of crap books ever written. Yea, I'm looking at you, Madison County.

And Eastwood never had a song written about him quite like this one. Sure, there was that Gorillaz song called Clint Eastwood, but was that really about him?

This one' called Martin Scorsese
He makes the best fucking films
If I ever meet him I'm gonna grab his fuckin' neck
and just shake him
And say thank you thank you
for makin' such excellent fuckin' movies

Clint may have his silly golden statues, but you've got that, Marty. King Missile loves you. I love you.

You make the best fucking films.

Update: Once again, I offer you the King Missile epic, Martin Scorcese. Download here.

Comments

i too was crushed that martin scorsese(sp?) didn't win best director. i had my fingers crossed up until they called clint eastwood's name. i do love clint eastwood though. not only as an actor/director but as a person, i think he's a classy guy. it was marty's turn this year to be in the limelight, though. damnit!

Paul Newman was in The Drowning Pool, a sequel to Harper.

The movie you're thinking of is The Dead Pool.

I can't find my King Missle MP3 of that song any more. I am mucho saddened.

Scorcese was ROBBED! ROBBED, I tell you!

Nothing to be sorry for? Did you see Gangs of New York? I like Marty quite a bit, but that was dreadful.

Meanwhile, Clint has become a damned good director. He certainly deserved the Oscar for Unforgiven. Haven't seen Million Dollar Baby or The Aviator yet.

i do want to add that the bridges of madison county is about as banal book or film as they come. that was nearly unforgiveable. his early works (the not so good ones) i can overlook because sometimes it takes doing bad work to get to the good stuff. i do love high plains drifter and the outlaw josey wales, though. and i think alot of eastwood's appeal to the public is that he is a down to earth guy. i think it was the guy from king of queens that was talking about eastwood in his bathrobe making pancakes for everyone.

overall, i do think that marty has had more consistency in his career and i prefer his movies to eastwood's. he's a true genius in his craft.

The Oscars were on last night?

Yes, he was robbed. I am firmly convinced that he must have fucked some big wig's wife at Price Waterhouse and they just count half his votes or the votes written in Aramaic.

Goodfellas was snubbed, Raging Bull was snubbed. I hated Gangs of New York, not my kids of film, nothing wrong with Marty.

Clint, I love, but for the life of me I am not sure when bad lighting, shitty wardrobe, mumbling mindless dialog and mediocre writing starting constituting award winning cinema. I am thinking somewhere around the time of Fargo.

I for one thought the show last night was a long circle jerk for the Clint Eastwood appreciation society. Oh yeah and they invited the black folks to show how ethnicaly diverse they are.

The other real tragedy? The guys who had to get their awards in the aisle. Some guy who spent his life perfecting his craft has to sit in the cheap seats while P. Diddle gets a chair upfront. What was that whole P.Daddy, Jay Z crap anyway? Who the hell are they and what do they have to do with cinema? Ok Jay Z was there with his woman, whose grand cinematic experience consists of Foxy Cleopatra in the worst of the three Austin Powers films!

It was the most blatant display of "Look at us white folks we really do like black folks" nonsense I have ever seen.

bleh

Well, Clint is a real man. I'd like to see Scorcese try and hit someone with a .44 magnum from 200 yards (and holding the gun with one hand at that). Plus, Scorcese used the N word in Taxi Driver-- he must be a racist.

Wait... that was really a monkey? I always figured it was Sondra Locke with long hair. Cuz their acting style was like, the same.

Buster, you're one of those people who has a hard time figuring out the difference between reality and fantasy, aren't you?

In Clint's defense, his volume of work exceeds Scorcese's by a factor of five. Everyone makes a stinker now and then.

That being said, I think he's a mediocre actor at best, that will/should be remembered most for be a baddass spagetti western cowboy and dirty harry.

IMO, Clint's charcters in the westerns were only one rung below James Dean in Rebel without a Cause in the "Coolest (human) charaters Evar!!!eleven" category.

If I can forgive Scorcese for Cape Fear, I can forgive Eastwood for the monkey films.

At least the chimp didn't go on to ruin a bunch of other films for me. Juliette Lewis, on the other hand...

Once again, I offer you the King Missile epic, Martin Scorcese.

Michele, you are a golden goddess. Half my cd collection--the half that has that oh-so-beautiful King Missile album that I traded some shitty grunge album for--is in a garage on the left coast. My life is a little more complete with King Missile in it (now I need Gay/Not Gay because those guidelines are kind of tricky to remember...)

Michelle, hello? GUNS 'N' F'N ROSES was in Dead Pool! That's got to increase Clint's mojo. He was hangin' with Slash, Axl and Izzy on a boat... or something...

Brilliant application of King Missile, though.

Hey... I don't know about that other stuff, but the monkey movies were hilarious. There's nothing wrong with stupid humor.

Clint Eastwood kicks ass.

Not that there's anything wrong with Scorsese...

Bolie IV

One of my fave parts of the Oscarcast is the montage of people who died the previous year...did they do that this year? (I've watched most, but not all, of my tape of the show.)

If they didn't do it, why not? Was it because they'd have to include Ronald Reagan in it...?

They did it and Reagan was first.

You don't mind if I call you a jackass, do you?

I had to break up the Scorcese admiration society, but...

Talk about your over-rated director. Jerky camera work including pan-ins that don't make any sense; gratuitous bloody violence, gratuitous profanity, extreme over-acting. I've always left the theatre after Scorcese films wondering if these things really were necessary, or were put in the film for the shock value.

Clint's "stinkers" may have been "stinkers", but at least they were fun. Even some of his more violent movies (the Dirty Harry collection) had great one-liners and banter. Can't say that about Scorcese's "stinkers". Remember Casino? Sharon Stone spent 98% of the movie screaming at the top of her lungs, and Hollywood fell in love with her "acting ability".

The only Scorsese film I really liked was Goodfella's, and even that had some major over-acting. And Taxi Driver, though I'll admit was a well-made movie, made me want to slit my wrists after watching. If I wanted depression, I could stay home and watch CNN.

I'll admit that since "Bridges of Madison County", Clint Eastwood has gone downhill. And "Million Dollar Baby" is just a typical Hollywood preachy morality tale.

If this kind of stuff (from both directors) is what garners Oscars nowadays, no wonder film box office receipts are down as a whole. Movies used to be fun. When and why did this change?

TV (Harry)

They did it and Reagan was first.

Good...now I'll have to find that part (as I said, I've only seen part of it.)

You don't mind if I call you a jackass, do you?

If you must...but I wasn't criticizing RR -- rather, I was knocking the Hollywood types who have despised him ever seen he was elected Governor of California. So chill, heh?

Just for the record, RMc, I didn't think you were criticizing RR - But I was criticizing this statement of yours:

If they didn't do it, why not? Was it because they'd have to include Ronald Reagan in it...?

Because....eh, nevermind. If I have to explain it, you'll never understand it.

If I have to explain it, you'll never understand it.

Try me. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Sorry, but if veryone wants to mock CE for the monkey films, then you clearly haven't seen such Scorsese stinkers as "Bringing out the Dead" and "Gangs of New York". Oh, wait...and the bleeping Aviator. This film is a second-rate return to classical theater that made all of us a little bit stupider for having seen it. Those of you who are fans of over-made-up two-dimensional BS characters (who, by the way, don't do any justice to the notion that TRUTH ought to be present in characterization, especially when you're given characters based on real people) and ooh and aah over 'smart' little cinemetographic aerial moves can enjoy this flick.

Mostly, I think that "Any Which Way But Loose" is a better film than "The Aviator", let alone "Million Dollar Baby". Scorsese wouldn't get screwed if he didn't produce such junk. As for the ass clown who put "Fargo" in the same league with "Million Dollar Baby" in trashing them both, you're right on one account. They are both driven by subtle direction in dialogue, and you don't get it. Keep watching trash like "The Aviator" and "White Chicks", which are both driven by spectacle and nonsense overstatement of reality.