take this snow and shove it, I ain't digging out no more
So the snow from the past few storms has mostly melted. The streets are finally clear of ice patches. My car has been scrubbed clean of sand and salt and acid snow residue. And it was kind of nice out yesterday. Sunny, not too freezing - I could almost taste the hint of spring the air. In fact, if I listened long and hard enough, I could hear Bob Shephard's voice in the breeze - now batting...... my heart fills with joy and anticipation and then....
THANK YOU MARIO! BUT OUR PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE!*
With a winter storm warning in effect and expectations of 8 to 13 inches of snow on most of Long Island, drivers are already dreading winter's next onslaught.But there's even more bad news, said Adrienne Leptich, a meteorologist at the National Weather Service in Upton.
For one thing, the timing of the storm -- expected to start between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. Monday and continuing until early Tuesday -- looks likely to make a mess of at least two commutes.
For another, winds are expected to be between 20 and 30 mph, with gusts up to 40 mph. "We're looking at near-blizzard conditions," Leptich said.
What god do I have to appease and who/what do I need to sacrifice in order to make winter go away? Do you hear me, weather god? I am tired of bending over for your eight or more inches every week! And now I'm starting to get that itchy, skin crawling feeling that usually ends up with me either crawling into bed for days at a time or going on a violent rampage. And if I'm going on a violent rampage, it's going to start with anyone who says "oh, but it's 70 degrees and sunny where I am, hahaha!" or maybe with the first person who says "man up, nancy, it snows in my neck of the woods 8 months out of the year, 42 inches at a time!" Well, I'm not in your neck of the woods, am I, bucko? Oh, but I will be. I will be. With my deadly shovel-o-death. How do you like them apples, snow freak?
I just love Mondays which follow a Sunday evening of insomnia and weather-rage.
[and this remind me that I was going to finish off my Poseidon Adventure treatise today. What better way to spend a blizzardy day than submerged, so to speak, in tales of a sinking cruise ship? Well, lots better. I have some more fellatio stuff coming up. I know that always catches your eye. More than, say, Ernest Borgnine or Shelley Winters in distress]
Comments
Actually it's going to be 72-ish here today. runs away
Posted by: Sekimori | February 28, 2005 07:42 AM
You chose to buy your house in Long Island, missy. ;-p Don't blame me and Seki for our weather being beautiful...
Posted by: robyn | February 28, 2005 08:05 AM
You will get plenty of sympathy from me. I survived the Bilzzard of '78 (and several after that). I have since moved from New Hampshire to Texas to avoid any more 24 inches of partly cloudy days. I still have family mad that I won't visit at Thanksgiving and Christmas!
Posted by: JimK (No Relation) | February 28, 2005 08:06 AM
Down here, we worship Lynrd Skynrd, George Wallace, and NASCAR drivers, and we hardly ever get any snow.
Posted by: skillzy | February 28, 2005 08:08 AM
Ill take the snow and the day off the follows.
Posted by: drew | February 28, 2005 08:50 AM
Oh, and I just remembered, I have a co-worker who's in East Hills/Point Washington this week. I can hear him bitching from here.
Posted by: skillzy | February 28, 2005 08:52 AM
That's Port Washington.
Snob city.
Posted by: michele | February 28, 2005 08:59 AM
I think the snow gods must be appeased by the neighbor/relative/coworker who annoys you the most (searching for shovel, going hunting). See you later.
Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper
Posted by: Elizabeth | February 28, 2005 09:20 AM
What god do I have to appease and who/what do I need to sacrifice in order to make winter go away? Do you hear me, weather god? I am tired of bending over for your eight or more inches every week!
Perhaps we're all supposed to make a run to our local Dairy Barn, purchase excess quantities of milk and bread (in addition to one's supply for the storm) and place these extra purchases together as a "sacrifical offering" to the weather god?
Posted by: jaws | February 28, 2005 10:06 AM
MORE SNOW!
MORE SNOW!
MORE SNOW!
(I don't drive :-p)
Posted by: IgwanaRob | February 28, 2005 10:08 AM
Apropos of nothing, I think you've just invented another ever-so-useful acronym: TYMBUPIIAC! Or just TYMB for short. Perfect as an expression of "joyous hope just got smashed by cruel, cruel reality".
Kind of like how my wife and kids feel every time there's a prediction of heavy snowfall.
I'm in the Midwest. The weather doesn't know what it's doing here; we get snow, but only enough to ice your car over and make the roads nasty - never enough for the kids to play in.
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | February 28, 2005 11:57 AM
Worship me. I'll make all the bad weather go away, and make your titties bigger, too. I am a great God.
Posted by: Acidman | February 28, 2005 12:24 PM
Methinks I do detect a bit of self-interested benevolence, there...
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | February 28, 2005 02:47 PM
I live on Long Island too and I can tell you we simply don't get enough snow here. Now upstate, those boys get some real manly snow. Down here, we get six inches and everyone freaks out like it's the end of the world. Wussies. Bring on the snow, and it better be measured in feet, not inches, dammit!
Posted by: Samixam | February 28, 2005 04:28 PM
Sorry Michelle,
I moved from Bay Shore to Hotlanta for just those reasons. As a kid I had all old relatives living around us, so a snow day meant shoveling. I got out of there as soon as I can. Here in Atlanta it snows every couple of years, and we watch it melt.
To make you happy, we did have cold rainy day here today...
Posted by: Tom | February 28, 2005 05:50 PM
I am SICK of the snow, too! We are supposed to have several more inches tonight and anyone who thinks we get a day off when it snows, doesn't live where it snows! Yes, the kids MIGHT get a snow day, but for the most part, school and work continue despite 4 or 5 inches of new snow.
Posted by: ReaderMom | February 28, 2005 10:05 PM
Do what I did...move...to sunny FLORIDA!!! :-)
/winks at stacy heh
Posted by: mr lawson | March 1, 2005 04:19 AM