A Very Special Holiday:
a fellatio haiku contest
I would like to remind everyone that a big holiday is coming up.
Last year, I tried to turn S&BJD into a business by recruiting women (or men, as the case may be) to, well..here:
What a great present that would be. Birthday? Promotion? Your team won the World Series? Imagine how much better those already joyous occassions would be if a busty young blonde knocked on your door and dropped to her knees right there. The girls (or guys, whichever your case may be) could also sing you a little song.
Congratulations on your special day
Your brother sent you this BJ!
And now, with Steak&Blowjob Day on its way to becoming a national phenomenon, 1-800-SEND-BJS could come to the rescue of significant others who are just too busy or have weak gag reflexes.You cook the steak, the BJ staff will do the rest. I’m a business genius.
I didn't have many takers. Oh, I had plenty of eager receivers. But not too many people wanted to be hired to do the job. Shame, too, because we could have made a lot of money and instead of bitching and moaning about not being able to pay the rent this month, you could have been sitting around watching your giant plasma HDTV and doing mouth exercises in preparation for the holiday rush and another bundle of cash.
So this year I'm going to try again to cash in on the holiday. This time, I'm coming up with a line of greeting cards:
See that blank space on the card? That's where you come in.
I need to fill that space with sentimental greetings appropriate for one celebrating Steak and BJ Day. I thought that because this is sort of a crude holiday, we could soften it up a bit for the guys who might want to send this card as a reminder to their loved ones/booty calls/hos. Haiku about meat and, well, meat would make the sentiment seem much more appealing than it actually is to some people.
Remember, a haiku is 5-7-5 syllables. All other forms of poetry will be disqualified. There's no prize, but if you print out one of the restulting cards, maybe you'll get lucky. And girls, don't feel left out. There's always the Cunninlingus Fairy.