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In February it will be, my snowman's anniversary...

With cake for him and soup for me
Happy once, happy twice
Happy chicken soup with rice!

Ah, February. Reminds me of sweet children's poems and falling snowflakes and deep, dark cold nights and neverending piles of slush and bitter wind and short days and bad things that have happened to good people and I hate February.

I just do. It should be done away with. Rename it Gladuary or Funuary and have local municupalities hand out giant sun lamps to every home (in areas that need it, of course. Wouldn't want to waste government money).

March may not be much warmer or even brighter, but it's closer to that glimmer of hope called spring and therefore, better.

Knowing full well that I just can't wipe February off the calendar like that, I've decided to take the Monty Python approach and look at the bright side of life. So, February is:

National Black History Month, American Heart Month, Wedding Month, International Boost Self-Esteem Month, International Expect Success Month, National Bird Feeding Month, National Caffeine Addiction Awareness Month, National Cherry Month, National Children's Dental Health Month, National Hot Breakfast Month, National Single and Searching Month, Plant the Seeds of Greatness Month, Publicity for Profit Month, Potato Lover's Month, Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month, Spiritual Teachers Month and Wise Health Care Consumer Month.

It's kind of interesting that Single and Searching Month runs the same time as Wedding month, eh? That's gotta make for some icy stares in the card store aisles. Or knowing laughter.

Anyhow, let's celebrate! I'm going to load up my neighbor's collection of supermarket carts with potatoes and pancakes and go feed the birds.

I'm not touching the obvious Cherry Month jokes.

If I make you coffee will you boost my self esteem? Let's work this month together, people!


Crap Michele, you're intelligent, talented, successful, hotter than hot, you have a great family, emotional depth and a pair of big brass balls.

YOU ought to be trying to boost MY self-esteem. ;-)

Mike: you're charming, witty and intelligent. And you give great comment!

I think we should just abolish February altogether. I know it's just a month and an abstraction, but there's something inherently malevolent about it. Besides, all those dedication months deserve longer months anyhow.

Well, maybe not Publicity for Profit month. That can go straight to the pits of hell along with February.

The Chinese got it right about February; in the lunar calendar Chinese New Year usually is in early Feb (sometimes late Jan) and everyone takes at least a week off. Therefore I just spent a week in Phuket Thailand on the beach helping the economic recovery by eating and drinking my face off! mmm lobster...

It all depends on where you live. I've always thought that Spring begins on Groundhog day in California no matter what, everyone else has to wait to hear what the groundhog sees.

I forgot to mention perspicacious.

it's also Feed the Birds month. hehehe.

well, lessee... out here in Southwest Oregon, it's been crappy, rainy, dark, gray, windy, wet, and depressing since about November. It may yet clear up by May. Then it'll just be showery, partly sunny, and windy.

if oyu made coffee for me, I'd chop of my dick, wrap it in a ribbon, call it self-esteem and fed ex it to you before noon

And that, dear readers, is why Geoff is my hero.

A personal epiphany:

February is the shortest month.

February is National Black History Month.

Just another example of "the man" not giving the black man his due... Someone call Jesse Jackson and get him up to Washington. Please? He's mucking around here in Greenville again, and think he could do more good (or harm) up North.

I'd like to do some research and find out how many babies are born in October/November... THEN we'll know for a fact it's not Cherry month... broken cherry, maybe.