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Long Island - Home of Bad Slogans and Deranged Women

The powers that be at the Long Island Convention and Visitors Bureau are, to put it bluntly, idiots.

Desperate to come up with a new tourism slogan for the Island, they hired an agency to come up with something that will build up the image of LI and promote it as a place where people can "recharge their batteries." And the winner is: Another day. Another memory.

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Ok, fine, I get what it's supposed to mean but I don't see how it pertains to tourism and building up Long Island's image as a tourist stop. Another day, another memory. The phrase does not invoke any sense of place. They would have done better to find a slogan that sets Long Island apart from the New York metro area; a saying that promotes the idea that Long Island can stand on its own as a place to visit, rather than the place that's next to New York City. It doesn't stand out in a crowd of slogans as one that makes you want plan for Long Island as a vacation destination.

Another day, another memory. Ah, yes. I remember being stuck in traffic on the Long Island Expressway for hours. Those traffic cones and construction trucks sure were pretty!

Another day, another memory. I remember the miles and miles of strip malls that all looked the same, each one with a Starbucks and Walgreens. Remember when we played count the "For Rent" signs on the storefronts? Good times, good times.

Another day, another memory. My favorite memory was driving out to the Hamptons to gaze at the houses we could never afford and dream about being a celebrity and then going into town to get ice cream and being stared at as if we were invading Martians!

If the tourism gurus over here were really smart, they'd run an honest tourist campaign. Go for the gusto, aim at what people really want to see. "Long Island: We Grow Them Weird" Provide tourist buses that make daily rounds to Long Island hot spots. This is where Amy Fisher shot Mary Jo. And this is where Joel Rifkin tried to hide the bodies. And here is the Lohan house, where Lindsay's mom first approached the idea of giving her teenage daughter bigger boobs. In a few minutes, we'll cross the spot where Billy Joel crashed his car! And this is where the Mepham High School boys first got the idea to stuff pine cones up the....Hey, look, it's a Baldwin brother!

That's Long Island. Sure, we have museums and theater and sports. We've got miles of beaches and pretty lighthouses and a really nice amusement park. We've got a beautiful arboretum and gorgeous public gardens and a world class aquarium and nature trails and historical mansions. But that's not what we are known for, no matter what the people in charge want to believe. No, we are known for our terrible accents, our infamous murderers, are maligned pop stars and our traffic problems. So just go with it. People love a sordid tale of a love triangles involving an underage homicidal maniac, especially if its been made into a tv movie starring Alyssa Milano. People are ghouls. They would pay good money to visit the spot where the hookers were found in the trunk or the crazed man went on a shooting rampage or the house in Amityville that is famous for the pig with the red eyes. Or the woman who brought down a preacher. We just love deranged women around here!

Seriously, if they offered a tour bus with the "Long Island: We Grow Them Weird" sign on it, stopping at all the infamous points and serving Long Island Iced Teas along the way, they could make enough money to fix every pothole on the Meadowbrook Parkway. And have enough left over to hire an ad agency who can come up with something better than another day, another memory.

I know, I don't have a future in public relations.

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From the City that Never Sleeps,Bloggers who Write from the Right. CPAC BLOGGERS FROM NYC: Alarming News Ace of Spades HQ Kevin McCullough The (Vast) Right Wing Conspiracy Michele of A Small Victory berates the new slogan of the Long Island Convention ... [Read More]

Comments

Sorry, but I have to say that the slogan has worked for me. I'll be setting up travel arrangements tonight. Just hope it doesn't cost too much. "It's a whole other country" led to me selling my car and hitchhiking back from Dallas. Don't even get me started on what "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" did to me.

michele, you may be on to a serious business opportunity. There were a couple of women in Nashville who got a similar idea, a real break from the old "see the homes of the stars" tours. They bought a pink bus and started Nash Trash Tours. It's so weird and campy, many locals will take the tour just for an afternoon's entertainment.

Laugh all you want, they've made themselves a small fortune. You could do for Long Island what the Jugg sisters have done for Nashville!

Slart, I would, but I don't want to make Amy Fisher mad at me.

Well, Kentucky paid nearly $600,000 to a consultant to come up with the slogan "Unbridled Spirit". Oh, and a logo with a horse in it, just in case you didn't get the subtle reference to a horse bridle. Now I'm sure the tourist hordes are massing to descend on my fair state because before this slogan, nobody knew that we had horses and stuff. We also have the worst license plate ever designed, featuring a smiling sun and the old slogan ("Kentucky. It's That Friendly."). Maybe we need a generic slogan, like [placename]:We've got some fun stuff to do here, and some trashy crap, too, whatever floats your particular boat.

I don't have any idea why LI would want to ignore the seamier side of it's past...it really is a tourist goldmine.

When my eldest daughter went off to London for a week's vacation, one of the tours she absolutely loved was a "haunted" London tour that retraced Jack the Ripper's steps, went to a old building that served as a dumping ground for bodies during the bubonic plaque and trekked through some other legendary places of tragic or tortured souls.

OH... postscript

the London tour was late at night, ending at midnight at the pub where Jack the Ripper picked up his last victim.

I picked the wrong line of work. I should have gone into sloganeering. Looks like good pay for no work.

Hey, I don't get the problem with the "Deranged Women" thing.

It's true. I married one of you, and I read the things you slam up here.

LI girls are ALL crazy.

Great post.

Good lord, Michelle, how dare you forget the Amityville Horror house, the strip club-going highschool baseball team, the location of Debbie Gibson's spawning... the south shore of Nassau County is a gold mine.

A $35 pass includes a round trip on the LIRR out to Merrick, the sites you mentioned, a pizza bagel and a miniature Three Musketeers bar.

How about "Long Island: Not as obnoxious as you think!"

Hey, I think you're onto something, Ryan!

[Remembers the recent church shooting and thinks twice about that]

Long Island: Visit Jones Beach - The Largest display of J.A.P.s and Juice Heads on the East Coast.

Darleen, not perchance the Jack the Ripper walking tour by Don Rumbelow? Small world indeed if it was.

Hey, down here in Houston we had a stellar slogan for the '92 GOP Convention: "Houston's Hot"

In August? Yah think?

BTW Michele, love the slogan and the idea.

Not really a bad idea at all!! Lets chat.

I should have known you would like this idea.

Too bad the Amityville House was torn down, it really was freaky to look at.