Long Island - Home of Bad Slogans and Deranged Women
The powers that be at the Long Island Convention and Visitors Bureau are, to put it bluntly, idiots.
Desperate to come up with a new tourism slogan for the Island, they hired an agency to come up with something that will build up the image of LI and promote it as a place where people can "recharge their batteries." And the winner is: Another day. Another memory.
What the hell is that supposed to mean? Ok, fine, I get what it's supposed to mean but I don't see how it pertains to tourism and building up Long Island's image as a tourist stop. Another day, another memory. The phrase does not invoke any sense of place. They would have done better to find a slogan that sets Long Island apart from the New York metro area; a saying that promotes the idea that Long Island can stand on its own as a place to visit, rather than the place that's next to New York City. It doesn't stand out in a crowd of slogans as one that makes you want plan for Long Island as a vacation destination.
Another day, another memory. Ah, yes. I remember being stuck in traffic on the Long Island Expressway for hours. Those traffic cones and construction trucks sure were pretty!
Another day, another memory. I remember the miles and miles of strip malls that all looked the same, each one with a Starbucks and Walgreens. Remember when we played count the "For Rent" signs on the storefronts? Good times, good times.
Another day, another memory. My favorite memory was driving out to the Hamptons to gaze at the houses we could never afford and dream about being a celebrity and then going into town to get ice cream and being stared at as if we were invading Martians!
If the tourism gurus over here were really smart, they'd run an honest tourist campaign. Go for the gusto, aim at what people really want to see. "Long Island: We Grow Them Weird" Provide tourist buses that make daily rounds to Long Island hot spots. This is where Amy Fisher shot Mary Jo. And this is where Joel Rifkin tried to hide the bodies. And here is the Lohan house, where Lindsay's mom first approached the idea of giving her teenage daughter bigger boobs. In a few minutes, we'll cross the spot where Billy Joel crashed his car! And this is where the Mepham High School boys first got the idea to stuff pine cones up the....Hey, look, it's a Baldwin brother!
That's Long Island. Sure, we have museums and theater and sports. We've got miles of beaches and pretty lighthouses and a really nice amusement park. We've got a beautiful arboretum and gorgeous public gardens and a world class aquarium and nature trails and historical mansions. But that's not what we are known for, no matter what the people in charge want to believe. No, we are known for our terrible accents, our infamous murderers, are maligned pop stars and our traffic problems. So just go with it. People love a sordid tale of a love triangles involving an underage homicidal maniac, especially if its been made into a tv movie starring Alyssa Milano. People are ghouls. They would pay good money to visit the spot where the hookers were found in the trunk or the crazed man went on a shooting rampage or the house in Amityville that is famous for the pig with the red eyes. Or the woman who brought down a preacher. We just love deranged women around here!
Seriously, if they offered a tour bus with the "Long Island: We Grow Them Weird" sign on it, stopping at all the infamous points and serving Long Island Iced Teas along the way, they could make enough money to fix every pothole on the Meadowbrook Parkway. And have enough left over to hire an ad agency who can come up with something better than another day, another memory.
I know, I don't have a future in public relations.