« in a can | Main | I ♥ Comics »

Guess the Michael Jackson "Illness"

Judge: 'I received word that Mr Jackson fell in on the way to court. He is in the emergency room in the Marian hospital'... Jackson's lawyer Thomas Mesereau: 'He is very, very ill'.

A. Suicide attempt
B. Faking it
C. Hair on Fire
D. Passed out when he realized that if his only hope is Elizabeth Taylor and Kobe Bryant, he's screwed
E. Sympathy pains for Shanley

Write your own MJ epitaph!

Treacher's is here
Unabrewer's here


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Guess the Michael Jackson "Illness":

» Epitaph for Michael Jackson from Physics Geek
Just because Michele asked so nicely:... [Read More]

» My Michael Jackson tombstone from The Unabrewer
The only people here are Japanese... [Read More]

» Michael Jackson Hospitalized from Late Final
Associated Press hints at his illness: During Monday's proceedings, Jackson smiled and nodded at potential jurors. At one point he picked roughly at a fingernail, and later wrapped it in a napkin. More theories here.... [Read More]

» Michael Jackson Tombstone from GOP and the City
How does Michael Jackson blow his nose, without it falling off? Here is my MJ tombstone. [Read More]

» Thoughts on guys named Michael from Thinking Out Loud: Thought Leadership from an Enterprise Architect
Been reading various blogs on different guys named Michael (Jackson, Savage, Moore, etc) and figured that pretty much every blog I have come across hasn't figured out that there is a conspiracy to turn them into IT people in order... [Read More]


Feels a sudden need for emergency nose removal (again).

He "fell in on the way to court"? The story Drudge links doesn't mention anything about a fall, though he's got the quote. He "fell... in on the way to court" or "he fell in... on the way to court"? Did he fall into something?

Is there an "all of the above" option?

Probably meant to say "fell ill". Just a guess.

I think Bryan was on the right track. Probably his nose fell off.

I'll believe he has the flu after the autopsy.
Call me a skeptic.

My first crack at a tombstone.

Face fell apart as a result of too much plastic surgery.

The Vapors.

He's got the rock'n'roll flu.

He's stopping by the juvenile cancer ward.

menstrual cramps

Fox News is reporting that MJ has the flu, which makes sense - the last time I saw him he looked kinda pale and, you know - strange.

E is close.

He figures if they convicted a Catholic priest in Boston, he is screwed.

Contents: Michael Jackson (at least 60%), Silicon (20%), Hair Gel (14%), White Cotton Glove (3%), Natural and Artificial Flavors (Skin Creams, Pepsi, Jesus Juice, Boy Spunk)

Here lies Michael
Six feet down
When he died
Only his cock was brown

You know how Superman is affected by Kryptonite?

When Michael gets too close to the world of adults, same thing happens to him because on his home planet, there are no adults. Expect lots more of the same as the trial progresses. (Just a theory, but hey, it works!)

Does it really matter. I mean how does this trivial news change how we live our lives? It doesn't. It just gives us something to talk about.

How does this affect us? It doesn't. It just gives us something to talk about.


I've enjoyed the man's music. I've enjoyed watching the man get weird. I've enjoyed speculating about every aspect of his unseemly weirdness. And I won't shy away from the fact that I am entertained by the bizarre and mind-numbingly wacko details of his alleged acts with young boys. He's definitely a sick man, but whether he is guilty of crimes is another mental exercise I'm going to enjoy for some time.

He's a trainwreck, an enormous talent, and a self-destructive looney all wrapped up in one. Will I be fundamentally changed by this trial? No, probably not. Will I be a little changed by this trial? Not likely. So you're right: it's just something to talk about.

And there's nothing wrong about that.

Fun MJ-related mental exercise: suppose a bizarre celebrity was going to invite young boys over to his house for a sleepover and NOT have sex with them. Only answers other than Michael Jackson count. I can't come up with any.

That certainly doesn't make me think he's innocent, but an annoying part of me thinks he might be so twisted and weird that he didn't have sex with boys. I want to totally dismiss that part of my thinking. But since my sons aren't likely to get an invitation to Neverland, I can indulge in such nonsense.

No more Thriller.
No more frustration
At my outrageous
Limp, simply.

His butt plug fell out.

Here is my Tombstone

generally, when a celeb is hospitalized and they say something like "exhaustion," that's code for OD'd.

In this case, I don't know. I like the Adults as Kryptonite hypothesis though.

I don't have a place to host the pic,

Here lies Mike,
no more troubles.
The kids are safe,
but what happened
to Bubbles?

Weak but safe-for-work effort here.

OK, here:

Here lies Mike.
Should have used more for protection
Than just one glove.

Here Lies
Diana Ross

no, really.