Save Me, Jebus! (A quote game extravaganza)
Today also happens to be the birthday of Simpsons creator Matt Groening. In his honor, I'm going to go Simpsons crazy today.
Sure, I might have kissed the series off earlier this year, but The Simpsons still remains my most favorite tv series EVER.
We'll start today's Simpsons extravaganza with two things. First, a poll:
I couldn't think of the word I wanted besides secondary. So this is basically a vote on your favorite non-Simpsons family Simpsons character. (The poll is below the fold so it doesn't slow the page down).
Also, I've got a new quote game for you. I start off with a Simpsons quote and then list a character. The next person has to give a quote from that character and then list a character for the next person to quote. Repeats of characters are obviously ok.
Game over. Just name your favorite quotes.
I had mustard? -- Barney Gumble
Ralph Wiggum
Comments
"Grease me up, woman. I'm going in!"--Goundskeeper Willy.
Nelson Munse
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 09:15 AM
I scrwed it up already...That should have been a Ralph.
:(
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 09:17 AM
That's ok, we'll get the hang of it.
Nelson: In my dreams, I'm a viking!
Grandpa Simpson
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 09:21 AM
Grandpa Simpson: "Do we sell...french fries?"
Principle Skinner
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 09:22 AM
Homer: Yvan Eht Nioj! You've gotta love that crazy chorus!
Lisa: What does it mean?
Homer: Eh, it doesn't mean anything. Like ramalanga ding dong, and give peace a chance.
Posted by: SayUncle | February 15, 2005 09:23 AM
Oops. Didn't read all the rules.
Posted by: SayUncle | February 15, 2005 09:24 AM
Principal Skinner: Do you kids want to be like the real UN, or do you want to squabble and waste time?
-Kent Brockman
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 09:34 AM
Kent: A new mood is in the air in Springfield, a refreshing as a pre-moistened towelette.
Lisa.
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 09:36 AM
As for me, I welcome our new ant overlords. -Kent Brockman
Superintendent Chalmers
Posted by: Gabe | February 15, 2005 09:36 AM
They have the plant but we have the power. -Lisa
Superintendent Chalmers (redo)
Posted by: Gabe | February 15, 2005 09:37 AM
"Skinnnner!!!! -Supt Chalmers
Comic Book Guy
Posted by: Susan | February 15, 2005 09:41 AM
Worst. Episode. Ever. - Comic Book Guy
Must assume Lorne Green death pose. - Comic Book Guy
Milhouse
Posted by: Gabe | February 15, 2005 09:42 AM
Chalmers: Skinner! I have had it with this school Seymour. The low test scores and class after class of ugly ugly children.
-Barney
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 09:42 AM
I love you brake fluid! - Barney
Milhouse (redo)
Posted by: Gabe | February 15, 2005 09:43 AM
Oops. Too slow. Ignore mine.
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 09:43 AM
Milhouse: So this is what it feels like...when doves cry.
-Edna Crabapple
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 09:44 AM
What happened to my little class coward? - Edna
Moleman
Posted by: Gabe | February 15, 2005 09:47 AM
Edna: Children I'm sorry to say one of your lunches exploded.Who has the 'little bunny foofoo' lunchbox?
Troy McLure
(Don't worry if the order screws up, just keep going to the best of your ability. Eventually it will turn into a free for all quote fest anyhow)
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 09:47 AM
I'm Troy Mclure. You might remember me from such films as 'Mommy, what happened to that man's face?' -Troy
Moleman (redo)
Posted by: Gabe | February 15, 2005 09:48 AM
Moleman: "Didn't that movie used to have a war in it?"
Burns
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 09:49 AM
Moleman: "I was saying Boo-earns."
Lenny
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 09:49 AM
What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Burns
Krusty
Posted by: Gabe | February 15, 2005 09:50 AM
I'm not supposed to get pudding in that eye! - Lenny
Krusty (redo)
Posted by: Gabe | February 15, 2005 09:51 AM
Lenny: Lenny: Ow, my eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!
That always cracks me up.
Krusty: We're going to the happiest place on Earth—Tijuana!
Bart.
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 09:52 AM
Krusty: And now a word from our sponsor - PERCOCET!! Aww...crap!
-Bumblebeeman
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 09:52 AM
Krusty: "Keep driving." (on the porch, with a shotgun.)
Otto.
Posted by: Keith | February 15, 2005 09:53 AM
Underachiever and proud of it. -Bart
/old school
Patty
Posted by: Gabe | February 15, 2005 09:53 AM
Otto: My name is Ot-to and I love to get blot-to.
-Patty(redo)
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 09:54 AM
Krusty - "I'm not going to do 'A' list material for charity!"
Lou (the cop)
Posted by: hockeypuck | February 15, 2005 09:56 AM
Bumblebee Man: "No me gusta!"
Dr. Hibert
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 09:57 AM
Dr. Hibert: Homer, we are going to cut you open and tinker with your ticker.
Homer: Can you dumb it down a shade?
-Patty(redoledeux)
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 09:58 AM
Patty: "Great, we'll have a girl's night! No bra's!"
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 10:10 AM
Rod /Tod flanders
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 10:10 AM
Rod: Yay! Imaginary Christmas!
Tod: I got a pogo stick! (pretends to jump on it)
Disco Stu
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 10:16 AM
Disco Stu: "Disco Stu doesn't advertise."
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 10:29 AM
Moe
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 10:29 AM
Moe: I'll use your head as a bucket and paint my house with your brains
Homer
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 10:32 AM
Homer: “I haven’t felt this was about a song since ‘Funkytown’!
Snowball 2
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 10:34 AM
Snowball 2 is tough, let's try Apu.
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 10:46 AM
Apu: "Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie."
Sideshow Bob
Posted by: not that Matt | February 15, 2005 10:59 AM
Sideshow Bob: Hah! Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?
Ralph
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | February 15, 2005 11:13 AM
Ralph Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!
Chief Wiggum.
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 11:17 AM
Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the... uh... what cures cancer?
Let's go back to Troy McClure.
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | February 15, 2005 11:21 AM
"I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such telethons as Out With Gout '88 and Let's Save Tony Orlando's House."
Maude Flanders
Posted by: not that Matt | February 15, 2005 11:37 AM
"Ahhh!" (when she died.)
Carl
Posted by: Gib | February 15, 2005 11:45 AM
Carl: I am so sick of everyone assuming I'm good at basketball because I'm African-American. (slam dunks) Go Carl! Go Carl! It's my birthday! It's my birthday!
Prof Frink
Posted by: IgwanaRob | February 15, 2005 11:50 AM
Carl: any religion that embraces carob is not for carl carlson
Maude: They were having S-E-X in front of C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
comic book guy
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 11:50 AM
Prof Fink: Professor Fink, Professor Fink/He'll make you laugh/He'll make you think/He likes to run and then the thing with the... person.
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 11:53 AM
Oh my great good God! Gentlemen, your attention please.
I am detecting a gigiantic amphibious life-form, it's 80 meters long and it's heading this way. Oh good glayven it's on my shoe!
It's a small frog, just get off, just get off there, just get out of it, get out of it. Stupid
machine... Oh wait a minute, this isn't the Monsterometer, it's the Frog-Exaggerator Mm-hai.
Mayor Quimby
Posted by: susan | February 15, 2005 11:56 AM
Mayor Quimby: We will now hear suggestions for the disbursement of the two million dollars.
Lisa: Don't you mean three million dollars?
Mayor Quimby: ...Of course. How silly of me.
Smithers
Posted by: IgwanaRob | February 15, 2005 12:11 PM
Mayor Quimby: Our city will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a city nearby that will?
Kang and Kodos
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | February 15, 2005 12:12 PM
Mayor Quimby: "Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse?"
Smithers
Posted by: not that Matt | February 15, 2005 12:13 PM
D'oh!
Smithers: Sir, I've arranged for the people of Australia to join hands tonight and spell out your name with candles. There's a satellite hookup on that monitor if you turn your head slightly.
Burns: Bah, no time.
Now, Kang and Kodos!
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | February 15, 2005 12:13 PM
Kang: Pathetic humans! They're showing a Halloween episode in November!
Kodos: Who's still thinking about halloween? We've already got our Christmas decorations up!
Kang/Kodos: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
Smithers (redo)
Posted by: IgwanaRob | February 15, 2005 12:13 PM
heh, too fast.
Posted by: IgwanaRob | February 15, 2005 12:15 PM
Smithers: Here's something that should cheer you up, sir. It's me sir, Bobo, hug me, squeeze me, tug at my fur!
Herb Powell
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | February 15, 2005 12:16 PM
'Sokay, IgwanaRob. Got your back.
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | February 15, 2005 12:17 PM
Herb Powell: "People don't want cars named after hungry old Greek broads!"
Cletus
Posted by: IgwanaRob | February 15, 2005 12:21 PM
Cletus: HEY KIDS! WE EATIN DINNER TONIGHT! CMON!
Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dillan, Dermit, Jordan, Tailor, Brittney, Wesley, Rumor, Skyle, Cassidy, Zoe, Cloe, Max, Hunter, Kendel, Katelyn, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ean, Lauren, Kubert, Phil!
Duff Man
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 12:23 PM
Duff Man: "Duff beer is brewed from hopps, barley, and sparkling clear mountain what?"
Titanya: "Goat!"
Duff Man: "Close enough!"
Um... Dr. Hibbert again
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | February 15, 2005 12:28 PM
Dr. Hibbert: You have twenty-four hours to live.
Homer: Twenty-four hours!
Dr. Hibbert: Well, twenty-two. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long.
Lionel Hutz
Posted by: IgwanaRob | February 15, 2005 12:35 PM
Lionel Hutz: "Cases won in 30 minutes or your pizza's free!"
Snake
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | February 15, 2005 12:37 PM
Snake: I'm gonna win you back even if I have to pistol whip this guy all night.
-Gil
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 12:47 PM
Snake: "That's my little dude!"
Kent Brockman
Posted by: Ryan | February 15, 2005 12:47 PM
One more Hutz for fun (one of my alltime Hutz favorites):
Lionel Hutz: And what is a contract? Websters defines a contract as an agreement under the law that is unbreakable. Unnn-breakable. ...
Excuse me I have to use the restroom.
-Back to Gil
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 12:49 PM
Gil - "No I don't want to talk to him...Fred! How are ya"
Rainier Wolfcastle
Posted by: Ryan | February 15, 2005 12:49 PM
Kent Brockman: The death count so far is zero. But we expect that to shoot right up.
-Gil Dammit! :)
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 12:50 PM
Gil: "Why did I bet the company payroll?...ole Gil is in a lot of trouble."
BTW, I hate Gil. A poor substitute for the great loss of Phil Hartman.
Sideshow Mel
Posted by: Ryan | February 15, 2005 01:02 PM
Mel: WHY YOU LITTLE RAPSCALLION!
Rev. Lovejoy
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 01:07 PM
Sideshow Mel: There's cheese in this sandwich! Surely you know I'm lactose intolerant!
Bart: Sorry.
Sideshow Mel: Sorry? Do you know how sick this is going to make me? Come stand next to the bathroom door, I want to yell at you some more.
Lyle Lanley
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | February 15, 2005 01:08 PM
Reverend Lovejoy: "Good people, I'm so happy you're all here tonight, but please, just a few words of caution. Now we are going to set this pile of evil ablaze, but because these are children's toys, the fire will spread quickly. So please stand back and try not to inhale the toxic fumes..."
Lyle Lanley!
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | February 15, 2005 01:09 PM
Lyle Lanley: Now I'm here to answer any questions you children may have about the monorail.
Kid: Can it outrun the flash?
Lyle Lanley: You bet.
Kid: Can superman outrun the flash?
Lyle Lanley: Eh, sure, why not.
millhouse
Posted by: IgwanaRob | February 15, 2005 01:22 PM
People today are healthier and drinking less. You know, if it wasn't for the junior high school next door, no one would even use the cigarette machine.
-- Moe the Bartender
Posted by: Hotspur | February 15, 2005 01:28 PM
Millhouse: Nelson is going to pants you and the girls are calling you fatty-fat-fat-fat, but no one is trying to kill you.
-Zombie Shakespeare
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 01:29 PM
P.S. Lyle Lanley was a great call. I had to look up who that was. Damn, how could I forget?
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 01:30 PM
Moe: "So what's the gag? It's full of chiggers, right?
Bleeding Gums Murphy
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 01:34 PM
"Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare?" * groan *
Cyprress Hill
Posted by: IgwanaRob | February 15, 2005 01:38 PM
Cypress Hill (good one): Before we start, we have a lost child here. If she's not claimed within the next hour, she will become the property of Blockbuster Entertainment.
Abe.
Posted by: michele | February 15, 2005 01:44 PM
Abe Simpson: And I was wearing an onion on my belt, as that was the style at the time.
Bleeding Gums Murphy (Because I can't think of anything he said.)
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 01:50 PM
How about dead BGM: This is CNN.
-Uter
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 01:53 PM
"You blouse-wearing poodle-walker!"
Groundskeeper Willie, to Rev. Lovejoy.
Posted by: tomaig | February 15, 2005 02:14 PM
Sorry, not following the rules, but this is one of my favorites...
Ralph, in the jaws of a huge, nasty wolf:
"you smell like dead bunnies"
Posted by: krtman | February 15, 2005 03:09 PM
Can't...stop...myself...
Uter - Vould you like to lick my joy-joy stick?
-Jimbo
Jimbo - I don't believe it...now my pants are chafing me.
(who among us can say they have never used that line?)
-Rainer Wolfcastle
RW - De goggles do nothing!
-Ned Flanders
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 03:25 PM
Flanders: "IF cavemen existed, which they dont."
Marge
Posted by: Paul | February 15, 2005 03:53 PM
Marge: Well, anyone who beats you up for wearing a shirt isn't your friend.
-Dr. Nick
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 04:14 PM
The kneebone's connected to the...something
the something's connected to the... red thing
the red thing's connected to my... wristwatch..
Dr. Nick Riviera
Gotta show Dr. Nick the love.
Posted by: Johnny Catbird | February 15, 2005 04:35 PM
Sea Cap'n: She's fine ship, the yarest river goin' boat there be.
glub glub glub
Sea Cap'n: Arr. I don't know what I'm doin'.
(Alt.) Sea Cap'n: I hate the sea and everything in it.
Dr. Nick: sing-song The knee-bone's connected to the...something. The something's connected to my...wrist-watch.
Marge: Homer! You're not even listening to me!
Homer: Sure they will.
Ralph Wiggum: Mrs. Hoover? The worm fell in my mouth so I ate it.
Marge: Ohhh, an earring. Are you a pirate?
Love in the time of Scurvy Fabio: Ummm...kinda.
Comic Book Guy: Okay, here we are, alt dot nerd dot obsessive.
Frink: Yes, we call that the Dennis Miller Ratio.
Homer: To alcohol! The cause of...and solution to...all of life's problems. (Best...quote...ever!)
Posted by: Enrak | February 15, 2005 04:38 PM
THE FLANDERS SONG
Hens love Roosters,
Geese love Ganders,
Everyone else loves Ned Flanders!
Posted by: Happy | February 15, 2005 04:58 PM
ok, this is absolutely one of the funniest things i've ever heard on television - from the episode where the school is snowed in, the kids use gym ball bags to tie up Principal Skinner, and Nibbles the Hamster saves the day:
"You did it, Nibbles! Now, chew through my ball sack."
the look on Nibbles' face is even funnier.
Posted by: mikey | February 15, 2005 05:08 PM
Ralph- my cats breath smells like cat food.
Posted by: Mick | February 15, 2005 05:32 PM
Homer: Shut up brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip
But then, I have that weird obsessive thing going on with Q-tips.
Posted by: Faith | February 15, 2005 05:51 PM
My favourite is not from a main character...
The old lady who runs the bed and breakfast Homer and Marge stay at when they're having sex in public is doing a crossword puzzle that is obviously a donkey. As she places the last piece of sky in the corner she says, "Oh, it's a donkey."
Scene makes me laugh so hard I named the weblog after it.
Posted by: Lee | February 15, 2005 06:12 PM
I love Apu.
Posted by: caltechgirl | February 15, 2005 06:21 PM
Homer: I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.
(Someone used the line about meetings always ending with a body being dug up - THAT is my favourite line EVER. I've been tempted to use it at staff meetings.)
Posted by: Rebecca | February 15, 2005 09:22 PM
Homer - "ok, he can stay. but i get to treat him like garbage."
Otto - "whats the catch?"
Posted by: scott | February 15, 2005 09:58 PM
Apu: Please do not offer my god a peanut.
Posted by: Enrak | February 16, 2005 07:30 AM
How could you not have Charles Burns, or Smithers or Apu. What are you a anti-capitalist homophobic xenophobe?
Posted by: BM | February 16, 2005 08:58 AM
Wille: Bonjour, you cheese-eatin' surrender-monkeys.
Chief Wiggin
Posted by: Michael Brill | February 16, 2005 12:43 PM
See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya, otherwise, I got no case and you'll go scot-free.
-Lenny
Posted by: Sir Not Appearing in this Blog | February 16, 2005 03:40 PM
Homer: "Internet.... that thing still around?"
Posted by: Fleen | February 17, 2005 12:41 PM