Roses Are Red: the 2005 Valentine Poetry Contest
It's time for my third or fourth annual Valentine's Day Poetry Contest (not to be confused with Mig's Limerick Contest). This is totally different. Really. In fact, I'll just copy and paste from 2003:
When I was in fourth grade, the boy who sat next to me received a Valentine's Day card from the girl he was smitten with. This girl was quite the bitch and honed her skills early on in life. The card to Mr. Unrequited Love read:
Roses are red
They grow in this region
If I had your face
I'd join the foreign legion.
She and her friends got quite the giggle out of this. Personally, I thought it was cruel.
Yes, but life goes and all these years later I am not bothered by romantic cruelty at all. Nor am I so virtuous that I would not take the impending "romantic" holiday and turn it into a joke.
So, a contest for you.
Valentine's Day poems. No, not sweet, lovesick poems. They have to be from one famous person to another.
For instance, from Michael Jackson to Corey Feldman. From Courtney Love to Dave Grohl. Ernie to Bert. From Jessica to Nick. From Roast Beef to Molly. Hugh Hewitt to the CEO of Target. You get the idea. I hope.
Must be in the form of Roses are red, etc.
Deadline entry, Sunday 2pm, when I'll put it to a vote. Winner will get some kind of prize.
[update: If your poem doesn't begin with "roses are red" you are automatically disqualified]