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monday morning fun in lieu of real content:
chain reaction movies

This day was just not meant to be, so I'm packing it up early - going home to take DJ to the doctor and then crawl back into bed and hope that things look better when I wake again.

Of course, I do not leave you empty handed.

First, Mig (to whom I owe a long email) is having his Fourth Annual Valentine's Day Limerick Contest. I won an award one of those years for Best limerick about the dangers of premature ejaculation. Sharpen those rhyming skills and head over there with your best poetry.

Second: I was thinking about a game I played here a couple of times called Band Sausages, and I thought (however mistakenly) it would be fun to play the same game but with movies (which I may or may not have done here already, but after four years you tend to forget things).

Basically you take two or movie titles and string them together in a chain. Example: Peggy Sue Got Married to the Mob or Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures in Babysitting. It's more fun when you come up with an actual plot for the movie, but it's Monday and I'm not expecting anyone to think that hard. Unless you really want to. Otherwise, just aim for long titles. The person who can string the most movie titles together wins....my undying admiration. Which goes for about a buck fifty these days.

Have fun with it.

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chain reaction movies
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» movie sausage from Hey Freak!
OK, so Michele's doing this variation of her Band Sausages (wherein you mix band names, the last word of the first band name being the first word of the next band, e.g. Boys II Men Without Hats), except this time, it's using movie titles. And... [Read More]

» Sweeet! from Plum Crazy
Michele is having a fun contest about Chain Reaction Movies. Basically you take two or movie titles and string them together in a chain. Example: Peggy Sue Got Married to the Mob or Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventures in Babysitting. It’s... [Read More]

» Movie Title Chains from Dorkafork's Cavalcade of Crap
A little game being played at Michele's. You string the movie titles in a chain, like "Purple Rain Man". An added bonus is to come up with a plot description. For the example it would be something like "Prince is... [Read More]

Comments

Wheel of Fortune has a catagory like this called "Before and After".

what about... "The Unbearable Lightness of Being John Malkovich"

OK, let's try.

The Hunt for Red October Sky Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Jewel of The Gods Must be Crazy in Alabama's Ghost

Next Friday Night Lights

Stealing Home Alone in the Dark City of Angels in the Outfield (6 movies)

Freaky Friday the Thirteenth Floor (not terribly long, but 3 movies)

I don't think coming up with a plot for either of these will work out too well though...

Once Around the World in 80 Days
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Ball Z

Let's get a couple obvious ones out of the way:

The Princess Bride of Frankenstein

No Deposit, No Return of the Jedi

Meet Joe Blackbeard's Ghost Ship of Fools Rush In the Name of the Father of the Bride of Chucky

Don't ask me for a plot, but I'm pretty sure it covers most of the genres out there...

From Dusk 'til Dawn of the Dead Man Walking Tall

"The Big Blue Velvet Goldmine" (Goonies rip-off)
"Thirteen Days of Thunder Birds" (horror)
"Deep Blue Sea of Love Actually" (rom-com)
"The Lost Boys Don't Cry For Me Argentina"
(Peter Pan as a colombian drug czar)
"Pretty Things to do in Denver when You're dead or alive : 20 years later" (Fear and Loathing revisited)

Ok. I cheated (I had to look up connecting movies for a couple of these in imdb, and one title actually is the English title of a foreign film). Still, this wasn't easy.

Without further ado, I give you a sci-fi extravaganza... a movie about a military superpower who, having developed the ability to transmit troops across multiple dimensions and times, destroyed all traces of resistance (except for one idyllic world that a general remembered hearing about in lyrics he knew as he was growing up). I present to you:

The Empire Strikes Back to the Future War of the Worlds Apart from Life of Brian's Song of the South Central Park (11 titles)

"Everybody's All-American Psycho Beach Party Girl with Green Eyes of Laura Mars Attacks"

Clearly this is a sci-fi flick with a girl whose eyes mutate into killer destructo-beams , causing her to go psycho and attack her friends and family.

Clearly this is a sci-fi flick with a girl whose eyes mutate into killer destructo-beams , causing her to go psycho and attack her friends and family.

I am going to write that screenplay.

Dirty Pretty Things to Come

Undercover Brother to Brother

The Empire Strikes Back to School of Rock and Roll High School House Rock Around the Clock Watchers

Million Dollar Baby's Day Out of Bounds

Pink Cadillac Ranch

They Live and Let Die Hard to Kill Bill Volume 2 Fast 2 Furious (action action action)

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Two Days in the Valley of the Dolls (5 movies)

The Longest Day of the Jackal (2 movies)

'Round Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil Dead Man Walking Tall, Dark and Handsome (7 movies)

The Unbearable Lightness of Being The Godfather Who Framed Roger Rabbit Once Upon a Time in America.

Leaving Las Vegas While You Were Sleeping In the Company of Men.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil I Was a Teenage Werewolf Eating Raoul.

Gigli...err..damn. You can't really add anything to that wafting piece of pant-fruit. Off topic: can Ben Affleck actualy close his lips while breathing?

A midsummer night's dream for an insomniac's nightmare on elmstreet.

Is it okay to make one of them possessive to make it work? I'm not familiar with the rules here.

"Evil Dead Man Walking"
A nun comforts a convicted zombie killer on death row by reading to him from the Necronomicon, hijinx ensue.

"Return of the Killer Fried Green Tomatoes!"
Armed only with some breadcrumbs and her fry daddy, an unhappy housewife wages an unholy war against a mad scientist who plans to use tomatoes in human form to rule the world.

"Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice & Thelma & Louise"
Two men, four women - need I say more? classic 70's porn.

Is it okay to make one of them possessive to make it work? I'm not familiar with the rules here.

'Course it is. Anyway, you're ending one title and continuing another, which is exactly the point.

But...

Michele, it's Monday, hence my brain is not really working, hence this whole thing is too hard for me today. Can I just get a couple of undying admirations to go? Here's $3.

Here's $3.

No, seriously. Have you checked your PayPal account?

Some of you aren't getting the point of CHAIN, nor are you looking at the examples, but what the hell, it's Monday and they made me laugh, anyhow.

Keiran, you already had my undying admiration. So the three dollars will get you a peek down my shirt.

A River Runs Through It Happened One Night In Heaven Can Wait Until Dark City of Hope and Glory (8)

"A telekinetic male stripper meets a girl who was resurrected after being killed while flyfishing in a bizarre simulacrum of WWII London and Thailand."

This is hard. But fun.

All will love me and despair over this one (I took the liberty of omitting "The" on occasion. So bite me):

Chicken Run Silent, Run Deep End of the Ocean's Twelve Angry Men at Working Girl Next Door to Doorman from Snowy River Wild Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead Man Walking Tall Tale of Two Cities

18, unless you count "Next Door" (entirely embedded), which'd make it 19.

And I'm spent. Synopsis, anyone?

Return of the King Solomon's Mines

The Maltese Falcon Crest (oh..I know, the 2d one is a tv show)

Body Double Indemnity

The Shining Through

Chicken Run Silent, Run Deep End of the Ocean's Twelve Angry Men at Working Girl Next Door to Doorman from Snowy River Wild Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead Man Walking Tall Tale of Two Cities

Hmm. A chicken, with the aid of the hooker with a heart of gold next door, is trying to sneak out of the clutches of a conglomerate of twelve evil farmers in Snowy River. Said chicken has always dreamed of living in Denver and becoming an undertaker. After a tough chase, the chicken makes it, whereupon he fulfills his dream, by opening his own mortuary, and he and the hooker live happily ever after as chicken and wife.

Lesley is good at this. Between her and Keiran, we have a blockbuster in the making.

I might have to Photoshop a poster for that.

Office Space Balls
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Never Dies
Surviving Christmas with the Cranks
Silver City Slickers 2
Its a Wonderful Life Aquatica
American Beauty and the Beast
Ocean's Twelve Angry Men

The Princess Bride of Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man on the Moon over Miami Rhapsody in Blue Thunder Road to Rio Bravo Two Zero Day the Earth Stood Still.

On their way to Rio, Bing and Bob lay over in Miami, where they hook up with a princess who marries Frankenstein only to discover that her hubby plans to use their honeymoon to heist a rare George Gershwin record collection with a gang led by his pals Klaatu, the Wolf Man, and a brilliant but deranged comic, plus some special ops soldiers fresh off a mission in the Gulf, a Korean war vet looking to augment his moon shining income, some troubled teens, and a couple of hard-nosed cops who are really working under cover and about to
swoop in with their super-duper helicopter.

p.s. No, I didn't look at Steve's entry of The Princess Bride of Frankenstein before concocting this mess.

"The Man Who Wasn't There Was a Crooked Man"

"The Business of Strangers with Candy"

"Take the Money and Run Lola Run"

"A Star is Born Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home Alone in the Dark City of Lost Children of a Lesser Godfather of the Bride of Chucky." (11)

I dare you, Lesley. I double-dog dare you.

Well, I can't resist a double-dog dare, can I?

"A Star is Born Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home Alone in the Dark City of Lost Children of a Lesser Godfather of the Bride of Chucky."

Chucky dies, leaving Tiffany alone with their son Glen and a load of debt he owed to the mob. To deal with her loneliness, Tiffany has taken up a correspondence with an inmate named Willy, promising to marry him once he's out of jail. Meanwhile, the godfather orders his apprentice to kidnap Glen to force Tiffany to make good on Chucky's debt. Short on cash, Tiffany breaks Willy out of jail, and the two go on a mission to rescue Glen. After killing the godfather, his apprentice, some random mobsters, and just about anyone who gets in the way, Tiffany and Willy move with Glen to Hollywood for a fresh start. Glen becomes a female impersonator, and winds up starring in a remake of an Ed Wood film, Glen/Glenda.

...and now I have to give Lesley my undying admiration.

Puppetmaster and Commander:The Far Side of the Lost World: Jurassic Park Three of Hearts in Atlantis: The Lost Empire of the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Gamera: Giant Monster Midair Showdown and Out in Beverly Hills Have Eyes of Laura Mars Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman's Tale of Two Cities of Angels in Team America:World Laughing Policeman On Fire in the Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Never Die Another Day for Night of The Hunter for Red October Sky Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl Harbor

Jack Aubrey VI, a young prisoner in a Japanese prison camp during World War II, is given a marionette containing the spirit of the original Jack Aubrey. Unbeknownst to young Jack, puppet Jack was created by the evil Andre Toulon, who, along with Dr. Totenkopf, has taken over a remote island in the Caribbean and is creating clones of extinct dinosaurs using Atlantean and "Gray" alien technology. Totenkopf and Toulon have Gamera as their enforcer, having erased the giant turtle's mind and replaced it with that of a deranged Robert Mitchum. Mitchum embarks on a series of murders, witnessed only by a young girl--Laura Mars. But the island is not merely a site for immoral genetic experiments. Also on the island are two ancient cities, one of angels, one of demons. The demonic city has become a base for Totenkopf, Toulon, and the mysterious Communist Red October Sky Pirates. When Laura is exposed to alien radiation, she grows to 50 feet tall, and rampages across Mexico. It's up to Puppet Jack, now the newest member of the Golden Age Team America, young Jack, Sky Captain, and Britain's premier teenage secret agent James Bond to recruit Giant-Size Laura to battle the Mitchum-Gamera and prevent Totenkopf and Toulon's ultimate plan: the complete destruction of the US Naval Base at Pearl Harbor!

Okay, I finally came up with a title to a plot I developed on the PATH train earlier.

"Nightmare on Elm Street of Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown Under the Moon Man, Woman and Childraising Helen of Troy"

The story of Freddie Krueger's touching personal journey. Freddie invades the dreams of a psychiatrist, who manages to convince Freddie to submit to treatment. Freddie realizes that he's killing people because of the deep-seated pain from his abusive childhood, which caused him to repress his feeling that he's really a woman trapped in a man's body. The psychiatrist gives Freddie a referral to the dreams of a top-notch plastic surgeon. Freddie undergoes dream gender reassignment surgery, changes his first name to Diane, and drops the first "e" from his last name. Although she continues to star in movies, her sartorial taste does not improve at all.

I cannot compete with the masters, Lesley or Keiran, but here's one:

The Meaning of Life with Father of the Bride of Frankenstein

"Saving Private Benjamin" (featuring classic Goldie Hawn comedy during the D-Day landings)

"Shaun of the Dead Poets Society" ("What rhymes with 'meatpie'?")

"I am a Fugitive From a Chain Reaction" (A man manages to escape being in a movie with Keanu Reeves)

"Point Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" (Boogaloo Shrimp and Shabbadoo rob banks, surf)

"From Russia with Loverboy" (Bond seduces women, delivers pizza)

"How Stella Got Her Groove Back to Bataan" (Stella rekindles her passion, fights the Japanese)

"License to Kill a Mockingbird" (James Bond versus a racist judicial system. "Guess that was a hung jury!")

"Sling Blade Runner" ("I reckon these things will be lost... like tears in the rain. Mmmmm.")

How about The Godfather of the Bride of Frankenstein Meets Abbott and Costello. Best I could do this time of night.

Cheers to Joseph and Lesley for efforts above and beyond, and to Dork for his succint attempts that made me laugh out loud.

OK, it seems like every other extreme has been taken, so I'll go for the SHORTEST:

PCUHF

Weird Al goes to takes over a college TV station. Hilarity ensues.

J.

Bravo, Jay. Well played.

10101 Dalmations

Computer hacker Bo Derek attempts to make a jacket out of 21 Dalmation puppies.

The Toy Story

Richard Pryor discovers his collection of "action figures" is really alive.

Who's Johnny Dangerously?

Michael Keaton portrays a robot that takes over the mob.
(OK, the movie was "Short Circuit," but the theme song was "Who's Johnny." Indulge me, will ya?)

Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery Men

Mike Myers joins a group of superhero wannabes to save The City.

Mystery Men Of Honor

Navy salvage divers by day, superheroes by night.

GalaxyQuest For Fire

Tim Allen and Sigourney Weaver are TV stars who find themselves swept back to the Dawn Of Man.

Ocean's 12 Monkeys
Trained chimps sneak away from their Vegas show and attempt to rob a dozen casinos in a single night.

Apocalypse Now, Voyager

Boston spinster blossoms under therapy and finds romance with a Viet Nam veteran and assassin.

The King and I, Robot

Will Smith attempts to teach a robot about life -- before it kills again.

Forbidden Planet Of The Apes

(Spoiler: all the apes are projections of Charlton Heston's subconscious)

OK, enough... time to shower and get ready for work.

J.

...and my other undying devotion goes to Jay Tea.

devotion admiration! Admiration!

Sorry, not awake yet. I'm sick and stuff.

"A Hard Day's Night of the Living Dead" (The Beatles reunite the hard way)

All right, dorkafork, I didn't want to do this, but you made me:

Sugar and Spice World is Not Enough
Victoria, Geri, Emma, and both Melanies all get pregnant by Jack, a former high school quarterback who first kidnapped, then fell in love with all of them, and are forced into a life of crime after they are kicked out of their homes. They devise a plan to get rich by using Girl Power to blow up a large oil pipeline, but are foiled by a dashing secret agent.

"Ju-On the Waterfront"

Ooh.. Keiran's keeping me on my toes!

"The Grapes of Wrath of Khan" (Genetically engineered humans travel to California.)

"Bring It On Golden Pond" (An elderly Henry Fonda and Katharine Hepburn enter a cheerleading contest.)

cheating, but:

The Army of the Ghost and the Darkness at Noon.

Passion Fish of the Christ that Saved Pittsburgh.

Water Dances With Wolves World

It Happened One Fright Night

Gone with the Wind and the Lion (and the Willows)

The Man Who Would Be King Who Wasn't There.

Late to the party, but...

"The Barefoot Executive Decision"

Plot Summary: In an eerily prescient film, a chimpanzee is elected president, then faces an unprecedented attack on the East Coast involving hijacked commercial aircraft and bio-weapons. In the aftermath, the president is accused of negligence in preventing the attack by an intelligence analyst, who primarily blames the president's closest advisor. Later, he learn that this advisor is actually his long lost twin brother. Kurt Russell plays dual roles.

"Regarding Henry the Fifth Element"

Plot Summary: After suffering a stroke, a heartless executive learns that he is actually a genetically engineered perfect king, and must lead his men into battle to defeat the French, who are discovered to be a massive sphere of evil.

"How Green Was My Valley Girl, Interrupted"

Plot Summary: An extraterrestrial from the planet Munuvia (she claims to be Scandinavian), our heroine grows up in a small mining town in the San Fernando Valley. After graduating from high school, she learns of her origins, and as a result gets thrown into Reggolb Mental Hospital, filled with sick individuals with delusions of grandeur. She escapes, and is reunited with her fellow Munuvians. Based on a true story.

"The Big Sleeping With the Enemy Mine"

Plot Summary: This sequel to "How Green Was My Valley Girl, Interrupted" finds our heroine returning home to investigate a suspicious looking man in a fedora. After several people disappear, she follows him into the local mine, where they are trapped by a cave-in. She eventually falls in love with him only to find out later that he is the murderer, and has been hiding the bodies in the mine. She escapes to a new life, but trouble soon follows her...

Split Second To Die Another Day Of The Jackal

A blonde hottie trapped in a loveless marrage hires an assassin to kill her husband, Charles DeGaulle. It's up to a suave secret agent and an occult obsessed cop with a gatling shotgun to save the day.

Urban Cowboy Bebop

An animated ex-Yakuza bounty-hunter becomes a gigilo in New York.

Dark City of Lost Children of a Lesser Gods and Generals

Alien teachers try to steal the dreams of deaf children about Gettysburg

Born on the Fourth of Jumanji

Terms of Endeer Hunter

OK, I worked at a Chicagoland game developer about 5 years ago, and we had a running list of these. It turns out I still have the list. So here goes... the list to end all lists...

A Few Good Rain Men
Glengarry Met Sally
12 Angry Men and a Baby
Johnny Dangerous Leasons
Police Academy 4 Weddings and a Funeral

Slingblade Runner
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures in Babysitting
The People vs. Larry Flintstones
The Little Mermaid to Order
Midnight in the Garden of Goodwill Hunting

Robocopland
Titaniconda
The River Wild at Heart
In the Nick of Time Bandits
The Empire Strikes Back to the Future

The Killing Fields of Dreams
Driving Miss Dazed and Confused
Casual Sex, Lies and Videotape
Born on the Fourth of Jumanji
Animal House Party

Groundhog Day the Earth Stood Still
Prelude to a Kiss of the Spiderwoman
My Left Footloose
The Fabulous Baker Boyz in the Hood
Ordinary People Under the Stairs

Cannonball Running Man
Malcolm Executive Decision
A Nightmare on Beat Street
Raiders of the Lost Boys
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Do the Right Thing

Indiana Jones and the Last Temptation of Christ
Rocky Horror Picture Perfect
Better Off Dead Presidents
The Big Easy Money
Dead Man Walking in the Clouds

That Darn Cat from Outer Space
Dr. Strangebrew
Cujo vs. the Volcano
Species Having a Baby
Sister Action Jackson

Date with an Angel in the Outfield
Dennis to Menace II Society
An Officer and a Gentlemen in Black
Dying Young Guns 33 1/3
From Dusk Till Spawn

Batman and Robinhood, Prince of Thieves
Leaving Las Vegas Vacation
The Emerald Forest Gump
A Nightmare on Wall Street
A Simple Twist of Fatal Attraction

A Bridge to Fargo
Casablank Check
Trading Places in the Heart
Terms of Endear Hunter
Like Water for Weddings and a Funeral

While You Were Sleepless in Seattle
Throw Mamma Off the Trains, Planes and Automobiles
New Jack City Slickers
Thelma and Lou-easy Money
My Fair Lady and the Tramp

Fast Times at High School High
True Romancing the Stone
Avenging Angel Heart
The Color Purple Rose of Cairo
Edward Scissorhand that Rocks the Cradle

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World According to Garp
Mars Attaxi Driver
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything - Julie Numars Attacks
Mr. Mommy Dearest
Mr. Magoonies

Night of the Living Dead Pool
The Money Pit and the Pendulum
Hamlet It Be
Snow White Men Can't Jump
Clear and Present Dangerous Leasons

You Can't Hurry Love Jones
The Karate Kids in the Hall, Brain Candy Man
Cop and a Half Weeks
Evening Star Trek 2, the Wrath of Khan
Operation Dumbo Drop Dead Fred

Better Off Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Rat Boys on the Side
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valencino Man
Nightmare on Elm Streetfighter
Oh, What a Night in the Life of Jimmy Rearden

Oh God, You Devil's Advocate
Clash of the Titanic
Bevis and Butthead Do American Werewolf in London
Looking for Mr. Goodfellas

  • THREE OR MORE TITLES

George of the Jungle to Jungle Fever
Gross Point Breakin' 2, Electric Boogaloo
The Full Monty Python's The Life of Brian's Song
Uncle Buck Roger Rabbit
Something to Talk About Last Night of the Living Dead Poet's Society

The Godfather of the Bride of Frankenstein
Johnny B. Goodwill Hunting for Red Octopussy
New Jack City of Lost Children of the Corn
A Star is Born Free Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Dressed to Kill a Mockingbird on a Wire

Can't Buy Me Love Potion #9 1/2 Weekends at Bearnie's
White Men Can't Jumping Jack Flashdances With Wolves
The Lord of the Flight of the Navigator
Coming Home Alone for the Holidays
The Saint Elmo's Fire in the Sky

And the Band Played On Goldeneye
Legends of the Falling Down Periscope
Repo Man without a Face-Off
Fierce Creatures of the Black Lagoonies
The Great Escape from LA Story

Lost in Space Camp Beverly Hills
Over the Top Secret of my Success
All Dogs go to Heaven Sent of a Woman

  • TRULY INSANE

Breakin' 2, Electric Boogie Night of the Living Dead Poet's Society

Forbidden Planet of the Apes of Wrath of Con Air Force One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures of Bronco Bill and Tedís Bogus Journey to the Center of the Earth vs. Flying Saucers

Enjoy!
-Stingo