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the anniversary party: Q & A

In honor of ASV's fourth anniversary (for which I was supposed to have an extravaganza of sort, but keep forgetting) and due to the fact that I have to go to some training thing momentarily and I'll need something to keep me from falling into a coma when I get back, I'm going to have an ASV Q&A session.

I figure that for four years, you and many others have been reading this site daily or so, commenting, emailing, sending links, and making this mostly enjoyable for me. So I'll do something for you.

Go ahead, ask me anything. Ask me Not necessarily about me, though any and all quesitons will be answered, even personal ones. I'm here for you. I'll give you advice. I'll cure your skin rashes. I'll help you complete that recipe. I'll help you with your geography homework. I'll teach you how to do a perfect handstand.

The only caveat is that this offer is only open until 2pm, unless I decide otherwise, or unless no one has anything to ask of me.

I'm just giving back to the community. Because your life is not complete without finding out the answers to the useless trivia questions rattling around your brain.

Answers to your questions may come in the form of lies, tall tales and unverifiable information. By asking a question, you are granting me immunity from lawsuits resulting in your taking my recipe for gasoline cake seriously, etc. All personal information given out as the result of personal questions being asked may or may not be true.

Obvious: put questions in the comments.


If money wasn't an issue, what would be your top five vacation spots (US Only)? why?

What is best in life?

1. This one probably counts as a FAQ by now, but (no snobbery intended or implied): Why no Beatles in the Top 500? Is it a "Just don't like 'em" kind of thing, or are there other motivations?

2. Have you watched any of the other Salad Fingers bits besides Spoons?

3. None of my Freshman Comp students recognized the lines, "Who's tripping down the streets of the city/ Smiling at everybody she sees?" Should I kill them?


What does the Voynich manuscript really say?

Why does long islanders need to stock up on so much milk when they hear snow is on the way?

Now that I'm retired, who has the most overrated blog in the 'sphere? The most overrated humor blog? Which blogger would most benefit from a thorough ass-kicking? Can I disagree with Hugh Hewitt without having to forfeit my blogger's guild card? If Glenn is right and blogs operate as one big newspaper, how come there were 800 separate death notices for Johnny Carson on our collective obit page on Sunday night?

What did you think of the movie "Falling Down"? Wasn't Barbara Hershey's character just a wee bit responsible for D-FENS's meltdown?

What's the name of that actor that everyone's always asking about when they say, "You know, that guy, the one in that movie that one time?"

I refuse to believe that it's Kevin Bacon. Too obvious.

1. Do you support the "Pave France" initiative?

2. When snow melts, where does the white go?

3. Does mincemeat come from gay cows?

4. What videogames do you find to be the most sublime, and why?

5. Is there reincarnation? If so, what has Billy Martin come back as?

Oh, almost forgot.

6. Under what circumstances is it okay to raise the dead?

If anyone knows the answer to this, it's you.

As a married woman, at what point do you consider some guy flirting with you as crossing the line? Let's assume he's not married, and you find him at least marginally attractive.

What is the best thing you have ever seen?

Why is Scrubs constantly shut out at the Emmys? Lingering resentment over Dream On?

You didn't really like "Napoleon Dynamite," did you? You only liked it in a pomo, something-ironic-is-going-on-and-that-in-itself-is-good way, right?

What do you REALLY think of me?

When will there be NHL hockey again?

Where have you traveled
a) inside the US
b) internationally ?

Did you like those books I bought you?

If someone came and redecorated your house with permission, what kind of paint and furniture would delight you?

Dear Aunty M,

Are whales really related to hippos? And, now that you have stopped smoking, will you ever wear the faux leopard skin spandex again?


Your neighbor across the street with the impressionable young son

Do you secretly agree with everything I said in the Teri Polo thread? Most of it? Do you acknowledge that America's divorce laws are in many ways grossly unfair to men? If so, should we do something about it, or is this payback for the thousands of years women spent being treated as little more than chattel?

Should Glenn maybe think about laying "heh" and "indeed" to rest? Although Lileks is a genius, is he perhaps more excited about this "Joe Ohio" business than the rest of us? If Gavin Newsom decreed that San Francisco will begin executing one straight man per week until gay marriage is made legal, would Andrew Sullivan's condemnation of the practice be a little on the tepid side? Finally, am I as handsome as the girls say I am?

What function do sinus cavities perform? To me they seem like the appendix, a useless design flaw waiting for an opportunity to malfunction.

What can be done about the George Lucas problem?

Why is it that time slips away
and leaves us with nothing mister but
boring stories of glory days?

Boxers or briefs?
Missionary, on top, or doggystyle?
Whole or skim milk?
Favorite non-New York sports teams?
What's YOUR favorite physical quality on a guy?

Whats your idea of a perfect life? job? family?

tcobb: sinus cavities do actually contribute to the resonance of your voice.

Michele: I know I've passed the deadline, so I don't expect you to answer, but just in case you're feeling especially magnanimous, here's my question:

1: Who's a blogger you haven't met in person yet but would like to?

: )

A hypothetical: In a round of blogger "Marry, Fuck, Kill," someone gives you the following list:

Goldstein, Treacher, Dr. Grosz

Who do you marry, who do you bed, and who do you kill?

(I know, I'm such a bitch.)

I like Ilyka's idea.

Is there a better way to spend $18 million than Roger Clemens?

Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?

Bit of a stumper for me.