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Morning Fun, Version II: I Can Name That Song in Seven Words

Well, it's not much of an extravaganza, is it? I was going to have a catered affair with chocolate fountains and scantily clad bar wenches pouring Guinness, but what will all the snow, I had to cancel. Sorry.

Instead, I'll opt for playing the party games without all that trouble of actually throwing a party.

Today's game is more or less a continuation of the extremely popular (600+ comments) seven word game. The idea comes from reader Rob, who suggested that we play the same game, but extend to other categories. Sort of like twenty questions, but with seven instead of....twenty questions.

Instead of movies, we're going to do songs. Without using ANY of the lyrics in order (so words in the lyrics are ok, just don't exactly quote the lyrics).

Example: Man goes far away, woman decorates trees.

Which would be Tie A Yellow Ribbon. Now that I've got that horrid song stuck in your head, you may commence playing.

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Comments

English guys play jazz. Hipsters don't like.

FJ - That happens to be my favourite song of all times. Knopfler rocks!

Man convicted of murder, sister did it.

Depressed Father hates driving home from work.

Alternate:

What the hell is a Scottish Loch?

Kid kills himself in front of classmates.

What the hell is a Scottish Loch?

Police, Synchronicity II

Kid kills himself in front of classmates.

Pearl Jam, Jeremy

Kid moves to LA. Becomes a dirtbag.

Handicapped kid whomps others at ball game.

Young boys are aroused by their instructor.

Shawn
The Who ( I think) - Song about the Deaf Dumb and Bling Kid sure plays a mean pinball. I don't know the name, but I still get the points because of the "song written before I was born so I shouldn't even know it existed"

Farmer
Hot for Teacher

mine
"You're so special, I don't belong here."

Farmer - is "kid moves to LA..." Welcome to the Jungle? Because int he video that's kind of what happens.

You got it, Shank. Endzone celebration time.

"You're so special, I don't belong here."

Eh, too much like the lyrics.

Shank - yup.

Celebrate armageddon in an orgy of hedonism.

Male chicken avoids getting shot in 'Nam.

hey - I don't drink coffee okay? My creativity wanes until about lunchtime.

Lets see....

"Proud women of the 'hood, fear not."

Lad kills prom date. Digs her up.

Celebrate armageddon in an orgy of hedonism.

It's the end of the world as we know it?

"Male chicken avoids getting shot in 'Nam."

- Roster(?) by Alice in Chains


Celebrate armageddon in an orgy of hedonism.

It's the end of the world as we know it?

Good guess, but no. Try again.

Lad kills prom date. Digs her up.

Excitable Boy, Warren Zevon

Group of Asian men devours the sea.

Guy lies to get laid. Regrets it.

Germ. Yes.

Seventeen bucks to get my dick back

"Male chicken avoids getting shot in 'Nam."
- Roster(?) by Alice in Chains

Or possibly "I don't wanna get drafted" by Frank Zappa.

Group of Asian men devours the sea.

Not sure, but I immediately thought of the book Five Chinese Brothers.

Seventeen bucks to get my dick back

Detachable Penis.

FJ, I'm not sure that's a song but rather a succinct comment on my younder years.

Celebrate armageddon in an orgy of hedonism.

Prince, "1999."

Not sure, but I immediately thought of the book Five Chinese Brothers.

Hah. That gave it away. Seven Chinese Brothers - REM.

Damn, you're fast 'chele.

Prince, "1999."

Bingo.

So very close, Michele.

FJ, I'm not sure that's a song but rather a succinct comment on my younder years.

Many peoples, I'm sure. Which might explain why the song is so popular.

Driving Instrumentation Illuminates Young Girl's Untouched Vagina.

Sharp - that's the same as mine.

Driving Instrumentation Illuminates Young Girl's Untouched Vagina.

Paradise By The Dashboard Light - Meatloaf

Weird, I was working on that one myself...

Guy compares self to avian, eschews development.

My day wouldn't have been complete unless I used the word "vagina". Sorry.

Son whoops Pa's ass for humiliating him.

Despite promises, new order recapitulates previous regime.

Skillzy "A boy named Sue"

Kid is human torso, cries about it.

Boastful youngster moves west. Yachts and floozies.

Farmer Joe: Won't Get Fooled Again, The Who

I am depressed, like a Beach Boy.

Farmer Joe: Won't Get Fooled Again, The Who

Correct.

Her fearful, plaintive cry; bravely, sadly unheeded.

Flour, eggs, butter...damn it! I forgot!

Son inherits father's putting career before family.

Bowie's spaceman returns, euro techno pop style.

Man laments lack of heavy anti-tank ordnance.

You can get pregnant from oral sex?

Son inherits father's putting career before family.

Bowie's spaceman returns, euro techno pop style.

Chapin, Cats in the Cradle
Peter Schilling, I think - Major Tom

What the deuce? Gambling is a sin!

Farmer Joe: Freebird, Lynnrd Skynnrd, and Brian Wilson, Barenaked Ladies.

michele: MacArthur Park, Jimmy Webb

Discouraged: upwind expectoration, interference with heroes' costumes.

Discouraged: payment for transportation prior to arrival.

Size of human females varies; possibly hereditary?

Five wussies declare their toughness. Yeah, right.

Truant sees Cubs-trashes depressed buddies car

Make like a frenzied pooch ludwig b.-

sorry my last question belonged in movies

Doomed, those who do not remember history.

Teacher assaulted! Entranced teen osculates. promises more!

"Doom!" minister proclaims; I toss my hair

(Extra point for naming album?)

Hint for "Man convicted of murder, sister did it.":

Was hit for two different TV-sitcom moms.

LDH: The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia

Vickie Lawrence is one, Reba is the other

Guy kills bird; all hell breaks loose

Teacher assaulted! Entranced teen osculates. promises more!

Don't stand so close to me?

Make like a frenzied pooch ludwig b.

Roll over, Beethoven.

Discouraged: upwind expectoration, interference with heroes' costumes.

That Jim Croce song....

Mikey
Hangin tough - NKOTB.

"Murder witness maintains silence out of fear."

Not impressed with any of television's programming.

I've gone all catatonic before the show.

I have difficulty obeying the speed limit.

I hate you, Mr. recording industry man.

I swear, she's using technology against me.

When I say NO, I mean it.

Dammit, which one should I go with?

Total nonsense about women being really sweet.

Italian Denomination leads to slutty teenage behavior.

The color of this vessel means happiness.

"I could use a little more cowbell."

"Listen to my twenty minute drum solo."

Man leaves girl. Southerners hold up lighters.

Man contemplates self after disabling grenade attack

Man steals parts, assembles a unique vehicle

Man gives useless poker advice and dies

careylenn: score!

How about:

Couple kill her husband and dismember corpse.

Man steals parts, assembles a unique vehicle

Johnny Cash--I think it's "One Piece at a Time?"

Kid is human torso, cries about it.

Man contemplates self after disabling grenade attack

Metallica, "One?"

Man charged with two murders admits one

Young girls's date warns mother, threatens father

Child asks parent questions; parent causes neuroses

Can't escape fate. Rock and roll surrender.

Friends scream, blown away at geometry risk.

Party girl's a star, not awaiting bus.

(These are the same three as before, all on the same album.)

Not impressed with any of television's programming

springsteen, "57 Channels"

I've gone all catatonic before the show.

Pink Floyd, "Comfortably Numb"

I have difficulty obeying the speed limit

Sammy Hagar, "I Can't Drive 55," and I'm going to kill you, Keith, for reminding me of that crappy song.

I hate you, Mr. recording industry man

This could be several songs, but I'll guess Pink Floyd again, "Have a Cigar."

I swear, she's using technology against me

Thomas Dolby, "She Blinded Me with Science."

Dammit, which one should I go with?

Mary MacGregor, "Torn Between Two Lovers." That's another gag-me, Keith!

ilyka, yes and yes.

Man brags about his propensity to mislead

Keith "Not impressed with any of television's programming." - Weird Al's "Can't Watch This" (et al.), or Bruce Springstein's "57 Channels"

"I've gone all catatonic before the show." Pink Floyd, Comfortably Numb

"I have difficulty obeying the speed limit." Sammy Hagar, I Can't drive 55.

--

Oral sex with unattractive woman remembered occasionally

Parents exhorted: coddle daughers; sons go hang.

Narcisistic celebrities equates selves with entire planet.

Decapitated mercenary leaves for Biafra (not Jello).

Pretty blond chanteusse refuses to give up.

Most overused track for movie score -- ever.

Date ends in tragedy; man awaits death

Woman slept in grove; husband killed, decapitated

Hmm,

Narcisistic celebrities equates selves with entire planet. We are the World

Johnny Catbird: Man charged with two murders admits one

So, who did shoot his deputy?

Jeff Raglin: Narcisistic celebrities equates selves with entire planet.

We are the world, damn you!

Hint: this one is from an 80's hairband:

Serial Killer lures children to their death.

I'll post a url to lyrics after lunch.

A few more,

Girls with big asses rock his world.

Fat Chicks, Turn it up to eleven.

He likes a badonkadonk, no Fonda please

Flour, eggs, butter...damn it! I forgot!

I'm hearing Macarthur Park, melting softly in the dark

dead bird spells doom without wafers

Most overused track for movie score -- ever. the Blue Danube Waltz? Romeo and Juliet? what?

---

Tommy and Gina are barely scraping by.

I treated you like shit. You left.

Obsessed with a picture of a girl.

Saying "I Love You" without saying anything.

finally, i got one:

Fat Chicks, Turn it up to eleven.
Spinal Tap - Big Bottoms

Oral sex with unattractive woman remembered occasionally

Chelsea Hotel No 2, but Janis was fucking hot

Tommy and Gina are barely scraping by.

Bon Jovi, "Livin' on a Prayer."

Obsessed with a picture of a girl.

The who, "Pictures of Lily."

Saying "I Love You" without saying anything.

Just a guess: Extreme, "More Than Words?"

Just a guess: Extreme, "More Than Words?"

If it's Mikey, it must be Extreme.

Saying "I Love You" without saying anything.

Jim Croce, "I’ll have to say I love you in a song"

Woman desires to continue living, last minute.

Stain on notebook reminds man of ex.

Persistent, devoted tracking pledged if girl walks.

i'm so transparent... so what if it was Extreme? hair bands rule!

keeping that in mind, the answer for "Obsessed with a picture of a girl." given was incorrect. well, it wasn't the song i was thinking of, anyways. think hair bands!

OK, one more, and I've gotta do some work.

I want you so bad, I'm dizzy.

think hair bands!

Oh DUH. Def Leppard, "Photograph."

Hint: this one is from an 80's hairband:

Serial Killer lures children to their death.

I'll post a url to lyrics after lunch.

http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Twisted-Sister/A-Captain-Howdy.html

Stain on notebook reminds man of ex.

Squeeze, Black Coffee in Bed

Man laments lack of heavy anti-tank ordnance. - Bruce Cockburn, If I had a rocket launcher

Man gives useless poker advice and dies - Kenny Rogers, The Gambler

Now:

Greedy people attack neighbors; find an aphorism.

Reconstructive dental surgery is requested for holiday.

Hippie has flat tire, survives redneck bar.

And how about a whole bunch at once: Too loud, three chords, full of angst.

Squeeze, Black Coffee in Bed

That's right--forgot you were a Squeeze fan. Others are from roughly same era and genre, because I Am Old.

Hippie has flat tire, survives redneck bar.

Uneasy Rider?

Whoa...flashback.

Reconstructive dental surgery is requested for holiday.

All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth.

I know the song about the hippie and the redneck bar, but I will be damned if I can recall the title, or the artist. I need more coffee.

1. soybean oil, whole eggs, vinegar, water, salt

2. pathway for malfunctioning visions of the night

3. directly below a structure made for cars

4. my gardner doesn't need me for light

my gardner doesn't need me for light

For some reason the first thing that came to mind was Jesus Doesn't Want Me For A Sunbeam.

soybean oil, whole eggs, vinegar, water, salt

Mayonaise!! Very clever.

Reconstructive dental surgery is requested for holiday.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.

Bath toy, peanuts character defy interstate law.

Greetings! This call originates from Austria's capital!

Bible fails to prevent duel over woman.

Another version of "Couple kill her husband and dismember corpse." as a hint:

Equipment list - baggies, gun, pickaxe, scissors, shovel

Hippie has flat tire, survives redneck bar. - Lynyrd Skynyrd, "Gimme Three Steps"

mikey: not quite what I was thinking, but along those lines.

oh, and:

Like a pyromaniac, I admit causing trouble.

"Decapitated mercenary leaves for Biafra (not Jello)."

Warren Zevon - Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner

I want you so bad, I'm dizzy - Uranium 235, "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)"

Bath toy, peanuts character defy interstate law

"Convoy," by whoever it's by.

C.W. McCall did "Convoy".

And here I'd always thought it was "Big Ben", not "Pig Pen" (dernded AM radios, anyhoo...)

"Bath toy, peanuts character defy interstate law." - Convoy? Egad - was that really a hit song??

Outstanding beef product in best place ever.

I want you, on fast pavement, forever.

Pretty nice out here today, ain't it?

Outstanding beef product in best place ever.

You do not want to know the title I made up for that one.

"Outstanding beef product in best place ever." - Cheeseburger in Paradise by Jimmy Buffett.

I want you, on fast pavement, forever.

Tom Cochrane - Life is a Highway?

Greetings! This call originates from Austria's capital!

Vienna Calling, Falco

"Bible fails to prevent duel over woman." - Beatles, "Rocky Racoon"?

Allow things to continue as they are.

"directly below a structure made for cars" - Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Under the Bridge"?

I'm training myself to leave the ground.

Many things are occurring at this moment.

The lacrimal ducts have ceased to function.

I'm training myself to leave the ground. - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, "Learning to Fly"

Many things are occurring at this moment. - Van Halen, "Right Now"

A food additive used to retain moisture.

Guilty on one count of Murder 1.

(Actually, that's probably the wrong charge - not Murder 1.)

Illicit substance promises to tell the truth.

Ten minute denouement climaxed by Oedipal Complex.

Domestic tedium alleviated through magic of pharmaceuticals.

I intend to purchase amenities as gifts.

High school sweethearts' courtship, marriage, divorce; wave.

Seminal American fiction character 100 years later.

Tragic fall of Elvis prompted by gewgaw.

Domestic tedium alleviated through magic of pharmaceuticals.

Flying Blind - Smokescreen?

If so, cool story - my wife grew up/went to school with those guys.

Crap! Stupid missing slash!

Armageddon maybe not inevitable; childrearing instinct cited.

Facial hair apparently required for forensic work.

I must redecorate surroundings in goth-friendly manner.

Hmm, Jeff R's Bible fails to prevent duel over woman. Rocky Racoon - The Beetles

Recap;

Decapitated mercenary leaves for Biafra (not Jello). Warren Zevon - Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, LDH

Pretty blond chanteusse refuses to give up. - ???

Girls with big asses rock his world. - ???

Fat Chicks, Turn it up to eleven. Spinal Tap - Big Bottoms, mikey

He likes a badonkadonk, no Fonda please. - ???

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

New One's;

Charlie Brown's Nemesis, airborne with crystalline carbon.

An unhealthy obsession with breathing and voyerism.

Young, pretty, she makes his motor run.

"Allow things to continue as they are." - Rush, Time Stand Still?

"Domestic tedium alleviated through magic of pharmaceuticals." - Rolling Stones, Mother's Little Helper

"Charlie Brown's Nemesis, airborne with crystalline carbon." - Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds

You have no quality I find palatable.

Thank you for visiting our tropical forest.

Invitation to season with white crystalline carbohydrate.

You have no quality I find palatable.

I Hate Everything About You.

An unhealthy obsession with breathing and voyerism.

Every Breath You Take

Armageddon maybe not inevitable; childrearing instinct cited.

That songs with "the children are the future"

Please reciprocate my desire for your affections.

Twenty six years ago life was different.

All is Chinese mysticism - the King lives!

<>

Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen (??)

Sorry, that should have read "Girls with big asses rock his world"

and my guess was Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen

Twenty six years ago life was different.

Tell me that's not Summer of '69.

Modean:

Girls with big asses rock his world. -
Queen, "Fat Bottomed Girls"

He likes a badonkadonk, no Fonda please.
Sir Mix-a-Lot, "Baby Got Back"

[I got the Spinal Tap one too]

Tale of a mass martial arts riot.

"Domestic tedium alleviated through magic of pharmaceuticals." - Rolling Stones, Mother's Little Helper

Right, Matt.

Seminal American fiction character 100 years later. "Tom Sawyer," Rush?

Armageddon maybe not inevitable; childrearing instinct cited. That Zager and Evans song "In the Year 5555," or whatever the hell it's called?

Let's make out; I've got a flight.

"Tale of a mass martial arts riot." - Carl Douglas, Kung Fu Fighting

Stop talking to me and put out!

"Invitation to season with white crystalline carbohydrate." - Def Leppard, "Pour Some Sugar On Me"?

Your Kung Fu is strong, Matt. (Unfortunately, your Time Stand Still is not.)

Mark: Tom Sawyer is right.

"Let's make out; I've got a flight." - John Denver's eerily prescient Leaving on a Jet Plane

Right, LDH. Had to include some of Michele's faves, and I couldn't make Hotel California work.

soybean oil, whole eggs, vinegar, water, salt
michele got this one right -- mayonaise by smashing pumpkins
pathway for malfunctioning visions of the night
i'm surprised nobody has gotten this one yet.
directly below a structure made for cars
LDH scores! under the bridge by red hot chili peppers
my gardner doesn't need me for light
despite my typo (should have been gardener), michele picked up on this nirvana version of a vaselines' tune -- jesus doesn't want me for a sunbeam.

and i'll add a couple others to the one left unguessed... some easy, some less so.

see mirror prior to asserting your position

childhood song freed from the illusions given

Gibberish with a decent intro and solo.

"Crap! Stupid missing slash!" - that a capella Guns 'N Roses song?

Gibberish with a decent intro and solo.

Stairway to Heaven.

But of course. (Took you long enough.)

Oh - that's not a song, that's a nod to Michele.

"pathway for malfunctioning visions of the night" - Green Day, Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Michele and Mark on "Armageddon maybe not...": nyet and nyet.

--
City's changed name of local interest only.

Might I suggest inebrieation followed by copulation?

A weekend day will suffice for combat.

"Crap! Stupid missing slash!" - that a capella Guns 'N Roses song?

Are you mocking me, Matt, or did you really think my lamentation on my sloppy markup was supposed to be a song?