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the diary, day four

A daily occurrence which is here for my sake and which you may ignore. I've made it past the fabled 72 hours. So how come last night I suffered the worst, most intense cravings yet? I'm trying really hard to not substitute food for cigarettes, but all my nails are bitten down to the end and my CDs are already in alphabetical order, so I've got to find something else to do today to keep at bay the Hulk-like change that comes over me when my body decides to throw a nicotine hissy fit. Listening to Hüsker Dü's Candy Apple Grey on the headphones while writing (never to be sent) missives to people I hate seems to be helping. I will tell you what I'm not going to do: I will not become a militant ex smoker. I will not try to goad other people into quitting just because I did. I will never, ever join a group like this one because those people are scaring me. I will, however, always hate the truth.com commercials. And onward we go. About twenty dollars saved and, according to the stats, today is the day my breathing should get a bit easier. Which is perfect timing as it looks like I'll be shoveling snow later.

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Comments

Congrats on making it this far! Never been a smoker myself, but I'm related to several smokers (well, mainly ex-smokers)... I've seen how difficult it is.

Woot for you!

one day at a time Michelle

and nice to know im not the only exsmoker who hates those stupid ass truth.com commericals

heres to a very busy week help keep your mind off the smokes

regards
gbfan

Uh-uh, it is approximately 72 hours from when your body realizes that you have stopped giving it nicotine. So this should be the last bad day of jonesing, then the craving should subside.

Then it will enough to deal with momentary urges for a ciggie that can come on, I swear, up to a year or more later. They are brief.

In any case, congratulations on getting through the awful withdrawal so far. It shows your strength of character. I think Solly said that he is willing to come up and help you bury the bodies of the other family members.

I think Solly said that he is willing to come up and help you bury the bodies of the other family members.

Again? What a friend.

Now that the CD's are arranged alphabetically, you could go and arrange them biographically; you know, at the time which you bought them/listened to them the most. Sorting the CD's (or books, or any collection for that matter) is always cathartic.

Now that your physical music collection's so organized, you'll have plenty of time to flesh out the online one, neh? ;)

Hang in there, Michele. We're all pulling for you.

I'll even bring my own shovel this time, baby.

Don't worry about artificial deadlines or arbitrary checkpoints. It sucks bum to fight an addiction, but it does get better. The problem is it gets better incrementally, so only with distance can you see progress. Paradoxical, n'est pa?

Keep at it. It can only get better, not worse from this point on.

Your brain is busy trying to find things to do with the cycles you used to spend smoking, and so it's proposing you fill them with smoking again. Nasty the way addiction works.

More seriously, go and get your teeth cleaned. The tartar that builds up absorbs nicotine, and now you're into a slow-release of that, which reminds your brain of your denial. Professional cleaning will remove the nicotine as well as the tartar, and so fewer "hits" from your teeth, fewer cravings.

Congratulations on making it this far; most people going cold turkey quit today. Please don't.

One day at a time.

You're going to do this.

Michele:

Everyone's quit is different. Maybe you aren't as hooked as I was (a pack a day X 25 years), but I had tried everything before "finding" that group that scares you. They sure helped me, but maybe I needed to be scared.

The most important thing I learned is that nicorette, patches, nasal sprays etc., all have very high relapse rates because at some point you've got to get off any form of nicotine and that is h-a-r-d (as you well know).

72 hours is good. Hang in there and before you know it you'll have a week under your belt.

Actually, at some point in the next month or two you'll find yourself grinning smugly when truth.com comes on. I know...I know...I said it too, but mark my words...you'll smirk knowingly and then frown to make sure everyone knows you're still cool.

man, those "truth" commercials really bug the snot out of me, too, and i'm not even a smoker. they're just so... smug.

can you imagine if there was a "truth" group that targeted not cigarettes, but unhealthy food? people would shut that shit down in a heartbeat.

Congrats on making it this far. I just passed my 1 month, 3 week mark on Saturday pats self on the back.

I don't crave anymore, the biggest thing was getting over my "trigger points" or times where it was most prevalent for me to light up. Then there was the headaches, general feeling like a vampire anytime someone turned on a light (quitting makes some more sensative to light for some reason) and the general grouchyness.

And I, much like you, cannot stand crusaders... better to let each determine their own course than me to try and convince them of something... as in the case of my wife, who still is not ready to put down the lighter.

many more days of success to you.

Congrats on passing that first big milestone. It really does get better, though how long that takes seems to vary widely. Don't give up if it doesn't get better as fast as you expected--it didn't for me, but I've been quit almost a year now. You'll make it.

I quit in April of 2002. I did become an militant x-smoker but only because being obnoxious is part of my personality anyways. I did hate those Truth.com commericals and I hate the fact that people who smoked their whole lives got money because they did not know smoking was bad. I decided a this past summer to start smokeing again because I did miss it. This probebly is not helping is it?

I join the bandwagon of hating those commercials too. Did anyone like them? They say teen smoking is down, so perhaps they had some affect?

Regardless, enjoy your new and improved lung capacity! Was that irritating? oh well, at least you don't know my home address.

I never smoked and I also find those truth.com commercials to be smug and annoying. They make me want to start smoking just to piss people off! Mikey is right, if you substitute any of the other nanny-state bugaboos for smoking they'd be shut down ASAP....fer instance...being overweight?

I'm at 4 years+ on the "first" try and I'll tell you that you WILL become a militant ex-smoker. If somebody blows that stuff near you I can guarantee you will say something.

Congrats and keep it up. It is the hardest thing you will probably ever do.

Teeheehee, looks like you saw my comment and site referral on the original quit smoking post. The website has nice information but the message board people are loonies.

Another nonsmoker who finds those damn Truth.com commercials so annoying it makes me want to start more than anything else...

Along with the other guy's teeth-cleaning suggestion, I'd suggest that if you like sunflower seeds, leave off those for awhile too. My husband discovered that the reason they seemed to be associated with new cravings was because they contain very small amounts of nicotine. He's fine with them now, but it's been years since he quit.

Congrats Michele ... I've never been a smoker (weird, cuz as a kid of the late 50's through 60's everyone smoked, including my parents) but I understand the hell the nic addition is causing you. It's not that you get 'high' off of it, but that you need it be approach normal. My husband has tried 3 times to quit (made it a full year before falling off the wagon)..but he has cut down dramatically just because he can't smoke at work (has to go outside and away from the building) and he doesn't smoke in the house either.

Interestingly, he works for a startup company that has a new medical treatment procedure to treat alcohol and drug addiction with more than double the success rate of 12 steps ... and you know what the side effect is turning out to be?

When their cravings for alcohol stop, so do their cravings for nicotine! (and for anyone that has attended a 12 step, those guys may be on the wagon for booze but woohoo you can cut the cigarette smoke and coffee smell with a knife!)

Then there's just that comfort craving too. ie the habit of having a cig with a drink or cup of coffee ... took my mom 3 tries to finally quit and she hasn't smoked in about 30 yrs, but she still admits there are times when she has a cocktail in her hand she wants a cigarette.

Hang in there, Michele!

I thought teenagers weren't smoking much anymore because it's so damn expensive. Giving credit to any ad campaign (truth.com or anything else) is like saying Wal-Mart gets so many customers because of that annoying whistling happy face.

Being a cheap bastard is the number one thing that prevents me from even considering smoking. Health, social stuff, children, and the maintenance of my beautiful somewhat yellowish teeth all come second to price.

By now, the money I've saved from not smoking has reimbursed me for my new kitchen and living room sets (leather sofa, The Chair That Swallows You Whole, oversized ottoman), my new TV stand, and about a year or two's car payments. Oh, and the antique Chinese wood six-panel screen that Heidi thinks may be worth a hell of a lot more than I paid for it.

And I quit when cigarettes were about half the price they are now.

Candy Apple Grey is perfect for times like that.

Don't leave your Zen Arcade hangin'!

Michele, not everyone who quits smoking becomes a militant. I haven't. I was forced to quit in 1991 when I went on oxygen because of pneumonia. I have never nagged a person to quit. Ask my husband, he still smokes. So do my kids. If my situation isn't convincing them to stop, my nagging wont. By the way, I still want an occasional cigarette. How do I get by? Drink lots of water, and keep sugar free hard candy around the house. It gives the mouth something to do, without causing a weight gain. Good luck.

Michele, not everyone who quits smoking becomes a militant. I haven't. I was forced to quit in 1991 when I went on oxygen because of pneumonia. I have never nagged a person to quit. Ask my husband, he still smokes. So do my kids. If my situation isn't convincing them to stop, my nagging wont. By the way, I still want an occasional cigarette. How do I get by? Drink lots of water, and keep sugar free hard candy around the house. It gives the mouth something to do, without causing a weight gain. Good luck.

The tobacco companies did lie through their teeth for decades about the highly addictive nature of nicotine, but even so, I have to agree about those truth.com commercials. Going out of your way to annoy people isn't really the best way to try to promote a cause...

Arrgghh - forgot to say congrat's on the +72!

well, the cravings get a lot worse from here on out, actually. for the next month or so.

but it's the temper tantrums and suicidalness and homicidalness that you need to worry about.
it'll get worse this week. but you got this far, you can keep doing it.

remember that quitting isn't the hard part. Not Starting Again is the hard part.

Good luck! You can make it without ending up in jail, I promise

Good luck quitting! I tried a few times and succeeded after the longest, scariest case of bronchitis ever; I really thought I'd never get better. By the time I recovered the craving was mostly gone and the fear of getting sick again did the rest.

It also helped to change my smoking triggers. I
gave up coffee for a while and went for walks.

Quitting was still hard because there was no fast feedback. I now wear a heart monitor when I walk or run. If I cheat and smoke even one cigarette, it is obvious in my heart rate in the next day's walk - it's worse by fifteen points or more. I haven't cheated once since I got the monitor. Maybe it will work for you, too.

1,200 people die from smoking every day in this country alone. Folks at thetruth.com are pissed about it. I really have no problem with their guerilla theater. If anger is one of your strengths...I'm not saying it is...but if it is, maybe renting "The Insider" this week would be a good idea.

Congrats, Michele. I am smoke free going on ten years. Lots of gum and hard candy for the first couple of weeks wherneve you feel the urge to light up really helps. Then you can taper off of that. The urge to smoke is usually lifted quite completely if you really, truly are sick and tired of poisoning your body with nicotine.

those truthdotcom commercials make me want to start smoking again just so I can kill all those smug bastards with my secondhand smoke.

whiny assholes complaining incessantly, oh yeah THAT'LL stop kids from smoking....

welcome to whinyworld

oh, yeah, peppermint helps...a doctor told me why, but I have completely forgotten....

Congratulations! You're already an ex-smoker, and have been for days now. I was one for years, and finally quit with self-hypnosis. I still had cravings, etc., but found that being forward-looking helped immensely. For example: "I haven't done that in so long, why on earth would I start again?" and "I'm so glad I got over THAT! Whew, time to move on." All this was four years ago and sometimes I still have 'nicci dreams' where I'm smoking and suddenly I realize what I'm doing and I'm absolutely abhorred by it. I wake up in a cold sweat but am SO grateful that it was just a dream. Expect it, accept it, and then get over it.

Also, you will gain weight. Even if you eat dandelions and bottled water, your body is going through a change and weight gain is a given. If you smoked a pack a day and ate, say, 3 times a day, your metabolism was spiking 23 times a day. A normal (non-smoker) person's metabolism will spike after eating, so average is about 5 times a day. If you can picture this on a bar graph, a smoker's metabolism is great spikes of up and down. A non-smokers will spike and then gradually go down and then spike again. The change will take some time for your body to adjust to, so your fat burning metabolism will flat line for a while. Expect it, accept it, yada yada....

Black licorice helped me a great deal, too. But the most powerful tool is going to be your mind. You are in control. You ARE in control, and eventually you'll be patting yourself on the back.

Best wishes in all your endevours.

Congratulations! You're already an ex-smoker, and have been for days now. I was one for years, and finally quit with self-hypnosis. I still had cravings, etc., but found that being forward-looking helped immensely. For example: "I haven't done that in so long, why on earth would I start again?" and "I'm so glad I got over THAT! Whew, time to move on." All this was four years ago and sometimes I still have 'nicci dreams' where I'm smoking and suddenly I realize what I'm doing and I'm absolutely abhorred by it. I wake up in a cold sweat but am SO grateful that it was just a dream. Expect it, accept it, and then get over it.

Also, you will gain weight. Even if you eat dandelions and bottled water, your body is going through a change and weight gain is a given. If you smoked a pack a day and ate, say, 3 times a day, your metabolism was spiking 23 times a day. A normal (non-smoker) person's metabolism will spike after eating, so average is about 5 times a day. If you can picture this on a bar graph, a smoker's metabolism is great spikes of up and down. A non-smokers will spike and then gradually go down and then spike again. The change will take some time for your body to adjust to, so your fat burning metabolism will flat line for a while. Expect it, accept it, yada yada....

Black licorice helped me a great deal, too. But the most powerful tool is going to be your mind. You are in control. You ARE in control, and eventually you'll be patting yourself on the back.

Best wishes in all your endeavors.