A new daily occurrence which is here for my sake and which you may ignore.
I passed the coffee test, I passed the beer test and I passed the "just ate a heavy meal" test. I managed to not smoke after all of them.
The first day (more like a day and a half, official quitting time was 2pm on Thursday) was easier than it has been in the past. I have a feeling, however, that today will be a real will-tester.
I woke up with that tingly, buzzing feeling; my body telling me it's craving something that I've deprived it of. My brain has rallied the troops and they're holding a huge protest - every nerve ending from my scalp to my mouth to the tips of my fingers is standing up, screaming, chanting and demanding another shot of nicotine.
The brain is a funny thing. While it knows damn well that I'm not going to light a cigarette, it still tells my body to behave as if it's anticipating I will do just that. So my brain is undermining my will power. It's just a matter of showing them all who's boss.
I want to thank everyone for their advice a few posts down, but you should know that there is no medical device in the world - patch, gum, pills, shock therapy, etc., that's going to help me through this. It's something I have to do cold turkey, on my own, or not at all. It's the way I've done it with every substance - legal or not - that I needed to detox myself from.
Weaning myself won't work because I don't have the will power necessary to do that. I have a tendency to be weak and having cigarettes around will just make me smoke at my usual pace.
Substituting doesn't work, either. Keep in mind that I have a lot of obsessive-compulsive tendencies, as well as an addicctive nature. So trying to replace one addiction/obsession with another is just feeding the part of my brain that I'm trying to gain control over. Besides, last time I quit smoking I started eating Sprees and gained 75 sugar pounds in about 45 minutes.
My smoking addiction was more than just a nicotine habit; it has to do with keeping both the hands and mouth busy (insert innuendo jokes here). So on that end, I'll just write more, have lengthier video game sessions and, as evidenced last night, go on house cleaning rampages. The oral fixation is easy - I just amped up my other oral addiction - ice chewing. Twice the ice! is my new motto.
So, to wrap up the first 36 hours or so: cranky, short tempered and my family hates me, but the house is clean, I've made it through another level of Kingdom Hearts, I saved five dollars and I'll never be in any danger of dehydration. Hey, you gotta take the silver linings where you find them.
Now, to face the rest of Day 2.