« on the wagon, again | Main | selling myself to the highest bidder »

the diary, day one

A new daily occurrence which is here for my sake and which you may ignore. Day1: It's dark like midnight out here at 7:45 in the morning, the kind of AM dark that makes you immediatley want to crawl back into bed with a book and your iPod. But no, some of us have to work for a living. And some of us have to drive to work in this windy downpour and some of us will miss very much that first morning cigarette that is usually lit up at the intersection of Merrick and Jerusalem. Today's sacrificial lamb in lieu of drive-to-work cigarette: one small piece of Dove dark chocolate. The second I hit that Merrick Avenue light and automatically reach for the pack of cigarettes that won't be there, I'll pop the chocolate in my mouth and some Life of Agony in the CD player and chew/scream away my nicotine cravings. I'm ready.

TrackBack

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference the diary, day one:

» Around The Blogosphere In 80 Seconds #14 from Diggers Realm
The Liqueur Tiramisu and coffee edition in the continuing saga of interesting and thought provoking news from around the web. There's sure to be something you've missed around the blogosphere. See if you can get through these in under 80... [Read More]

Comments

wow. so it's totally cold turkey eh? No nicorette or patches or anything? I really think you should look into those sugar-free popsicles. It's a whole new world of addiction. You gotta get the ones in the yellow box though, they have the best consistency. Those freezer pops are for noobs, and the store-brand popsicles taste like 18 different kinds of ass.

Oh, and "YOU can DOOOO iiiiit!!"

The agony of nicotine withdrawal is nothing compared to the agony of gaining fifty pounds and spending the rest of your lfe (in my case it's 30+ years) taking some of it off and putting it back on.

Suck it up and stop the candy unless you too want three or four different wardrobes depending on where you are on the spectrum of weight distribtion.

Better continue to smoke (if you can afford it).

Been there and wish I hadn't done that.

Hey one thing you might try that helpped me was licorice . It tastes like shit but some for reason helped with the cravings. Just a though

I'm currently at 2.5 months smoke-free. I know the first week is going to suck for you, but it is SOOOOOOOO worth it. Food starts to taste awesome, except for fast food, when did they start putting all that salt in there? Coffee and chocolate start to have subtle flavors. And being able to breathe when I'm working out and getting oxygen head rushes? It's all good.

The thing that helped me the most? Remembering that no matter what happens, whether I smoke or not, the craving will be gone in about 5 minutes.

As the cravings become fewer and farther between it's actually been kind of fun riding them out. Sort of like the click-click-click of the first roller coaster hill.

I had my lung collapse. That experience gave me such a new found joy of breathing that quitting was relatively easy.

I did it cold turkey too. Make sure you have something to do with your hands. I carried a pen around like it was a smoke, even flicked it to knock the ash off. A pack of cards feels like a pack, and I'd occasionally knock it against my other hand (packing the tobacco)
It was very comforting.

might as well add my two cents one thing i did was a pocket full of "sugar free candy" something with a nice krinkly wrapper gives something for your hands to do when you have the urge light up then the candy which wont put on the pounds takes care of the oral fix you got from the smokes

in the end its what works for you it took me nine trys with the patch to finally beat my habit but next to wife it was the best thing that ever happen to me

regards
gbfan

erp,
There is NO WAY you can blame weight gain on smoking cessation. Yes, one can be a trigger for the other but they are both only symptoms of a larger problem - smoking and eating both fill a "hole" in the psyche. Life cannot be lived with the hole there, so we fill it with something. Food, alcohol, sex, Jesus. Michele will be just fine if she finds something else to fill that "hole".

BTW - are we related? I gained 50 lbs about 15 years ago, and have lost and gained it back 3 times. My "trigger" is vacation. Every one of my weight gains started when I came back from vacation and got out of my routines. I'm in the "loss cycle" again (almost 10 lbs!), but this time I'm not going to let a vacation trigger a weight gain. I'll continue working out/eating well ON vacation. I look DAMN good when I'm in shape. I like that feeling. I'm never going to let it go again.

As long as you don't pick the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Okay, you've inspired me. I won't stop smoking, but I'm quitting the heroin. I hope it makes food taste better.

I'm at a year and 3 weeks smoke free. It took patches and finally Welbutrin to keep me on the wagon. I only put on 5 pounds, thanks to the meds. Try to find some kind of workout you like and try Welbutrin (Zyban generic). Seriously, you'll find you won't be reaching for sugar to make you feel better.

Erp, I've said a thousand times that I wish I had never quit smoking because of the weight gain. Until I see a very overweight person smoking. :) You can lose weight, but once you have lung cancer it's there to stay. (yes, I know, platitudes don't help...)

Keep up the good work, Michele! I'll be personally cheering for you over here in Michigan!

There's no way in hell I'm going back on Wellbutrin again after what I went through to get off of it.

I know it works wonders for not smoking, and I know that they give you a much smaller dose than they give those (like myself) taking it for mental health reasons - but I struggled to get that stuff out of my body and I don't want to go back that way again.

First, good luck. It took me a long time to successfully quit.

You might want to try the quiz at http://familydoctor.org/296.xml ; if you're (say) addicted to nicotine but not a social smoker, you need different coping helps than someone who's not addicted but is a habit smoker.

Good luck! My wife and I both just made it past the 4 month mark. She went cold turkey but I used the patch for the first 3 weeks. We both put on a little weight but now we're working on losing it (one thing at a time). Yes, I still would like one now and then. A week in Moscow back in November was the worst!

Hang in there...it's worth it! My boys are 6 and 7 and I've just seriously increased my chances of seeing them have children of their own!

Kittyshoes - You've never seen an overweight smoker??

I quit a year and a half ago after a 40 year habit and I remember constantly asking myself why, if so many others had managed to kick the habit, why would I not be able to do it. Take deep breaths and move your body. Congratulations for getting this big monkey off your back.

I know what you mean Michele. Even the low dose of Welbutrin/Zyban makes me manic since I don't swing to depressive most of the time...and when I'm manic, I'm RIGHT. Oh, yes I am, STFU, you have NO idea what you're messing with! Sigh...I eased off that after about a month and a half...don't want anymore thanks.

I quit smoking (pack a day, 18 years, Marlboro lights) in August of 03.

Last June I took on the weight.. have lost 45 pounds since then (South Beach).

I didn't gain after quitting the smokes, but I have to admit, food tasted pretty damn good for a change.

Hang in there.

The patches DO work (albeit with side effects)

1. Skin dries out
2. VIVID dreams (in color, no less)
3. Occasional headaches

At least they're FDA approved!

Of course I understand that I substituted eating for smoking. That's what I was warning against. Don't reward yourself with chocolate. Get through each new situation without smoking or eating. A good suggestion by a poster above was to use a clicking pen or something else to do with your hands to simulate the act of smoking.

Another crutch is to leave a pack in your drawer so you know it's there should you need it. I only threw out my last stash about ten years after I had stopped. I liked knowing it was there like a security blanket

Everyone who has ever smoked should see the episode on Frasier where his agent (although she wasn't playing that part in the episode) goes through the reasons she likes to smoke. Starting with the fresh new pack and going through all the motions. It's a fabulous tour de force.

After at least 20 years without a butt, I could light up right now and be back to two/three packs a days by tomorrow morning. I know. I did just that. After not smoking for 17 years, I picked up a friend's cigarette at lunch and started smoking for five more years before stopping again.

Good luck to our hostess. She'll do it and in a couple of months, she'll wonder where the money is going that she used to spend on cigarettes. My husband and I figure we saved at least fifty thousand dollars in the past twenty years.