nothing comes between me and my ipod
[Still working on the album cover thing. Soon]
We had a threesome last night. Me, Justin, Matilda. These things never turn out good; someone always gets hurt and in this case, it was me.
I took Matilda into our home. I named her, gave her life and power and shared with her, through song, my deepest emotions. Oh, I knew Justin would want her. I knew he couldn't resist her shine, her sleek curves or the way she could light up a dark room. He was awed by her capacity to take in so much and from the moment he first touched her, I knew it would be a battle to keep her as my own.
Eventually, I gave in. I realized that Matilda was able to satisfy the both of us in so many ways and that sharing her presented an opportunity for Justin and I to spend more time together. Even if it meant that time was with Matilda between us, that was ok.
So Justin shot her full of his own juices - a few GB worth added onto what I had already given her. Matilda was ready to offer us a shared experience. We could learn from each other and learn appreciate what the other has to offer.
Except Matilda had other ideas. And my jealousy reared its ugly, green head.
We took Matilda to bed with us last night. Snuggled up in the near-dark, Matilda's backlight casting a faint glow on us, we decided to play a little game with her. Oh, nothing like that. Just a little Name That Tune. With a couple thousand songs on the playlist, we could spend hours scrolling through the list, trying to guess which song is playing from the first few notes. So Justin hit shuffle and we started the game.
Not only did Matilda betray me by constantly playing songs that Justin had loaded into her, but I started to feel violated as well. Matilda was supposed to be mine. I was doing the nice thing by sharing her, but I would recoil in horror at some of the selections. How dare my husband put Use Your Illusion II on my iPod?
My personal space violated, I shuffled past Don't Cry and Matilda offered me Duran Duran. Now, I know I didn't put Duran Duran on the iPod. Justin? I stared at him, feeling like I didn't know my own husband. What else would I find out about him? And then blood froze when I realized that he could just as well find out horrible things about me! Sure enough, Matilda chose to play Dashboard Confessional next. Justin eyed me suspiciously.
I knew what was going on. Matilda was trying to tear us apart so she could have Justin all to herself. She'd play five Mindless Self Indulgence songs in a row - not that I mind a little MSI, but those are Justin's songs, not mine, and Matilda knows this. She was reeling my husband in by constantly playing his selections. I'm not good at playing Name That Tune when all the tunes were some experiment in noise terror, and I think Matilda was trying to get Justin to think less of me when I went on an 0-10 streak. Then just when he was feeling exasperated with me, Matilda would play four or more of Justin's songs in a row, topped off with something of mine like Taking Back Sunday, which made my husband scornfully call me an emo girl trapped in the body of a grown woman.
I could not let this happen. Sure, the easy thing to do would be to throw Matilda out of our bed and out of our lives. Like hell. She may be a cruel bitch who uses her shuffle mode in attempt to destroy my marriage, but damn it, I love her.
I grabbed Matilda out of Justin's hands. I caressed her shiny back and fingered her delicate wheel. I whispered sweet nothings to her. I admired her backlight. And then I hit the next button. Oh, sweet, sweet Matilda. She was playing Nick Cave, a song the husband and I both love. We laid in bed and sang, sang our little hearts out, he with the left headphone and me with the right and we didn't care that the window was slightly open and our neighbors could probably hear us. After Nick Cave, Matilda gave us Faith No More doing This Guy's in Love With You, which we sang together, and then NIN's Sanctified, which I did solo. We culminated our shared music frenzy with Fear Factory's Demanufacture, using our best metal voices - I've. Got. No. More. God. Damn. Re. Spect! until one of the kids banged on the wall to let us know we were being a bit to raucous.
Maybe I should be singing "I've got no more self respect." I lost it when I decided to suck up to Matilda. Instead of doing the right thing by taking her away from my husband, deleting all his songs and hiding her in the closet under lock and key, I gave in and joined their little love fest. I'll still cringe every time Sade comes up on the playlist, but at least Matilda and I have a better relationship now. She's learned that I can live with five MSI songs in a row as long as she follows it up with some angsty melodrama. And Justin and I have learned how to share Matilda in a way that leaves everyone satisfied at the end of the night.
Except the kids, who looked somewhat embarrassed when we all met in the hallway this morning. But it's my job to embarrass them and if I get to use Fear Factory via Matilda to do that, all the better.