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2005: The Year That Sucked Immediately

He's dead, Jim. My transmission, that is. Well, I guess this would be a good time to start playing lotto. Or learning how to walk long distances. Ok, people. Pick six numbers from 1-52. Help me win 80 million dollars. That's a hell of a lot of transmissions. [By choosing six numbers for me, you agree to accept 5% of the total winnings after taxes should your numbers come in (and I remember to play), and you hereby agree not to sue me for anything more than that, or tell lies to the media about me]

Comments

1-2-3-4-5-6

Laugh all you want but it has just as much of a chance as any other combination.

1-15-27

And once you make it to the big time are you sure we can't make up stories about you?

Birthdays, anniversaries, backwards year of birth, last to digits of your social security number or home phone. Whatever works. Good luck with the $80 million (but I'm planning on winning it myself).

6-14-15-22-47-50

And if you win, donate my 5% to Earthquake Relief.

[By choosing six numbers for me, you agree to accept 5% of the total winnings after taxes should your numbers come in (and I remember to play), and you hereby agree not to sue me for anything more than that, or tell lies to the media about me]

I decline. The right to tell lies to media -- about you or anyone else -- is more important to me than 5% of...

<does quick math in his head>

4-17-23-29-41-46.

Remember who ya got 'em from.

4-6-10-11-22-30

That's the combination of all four of our birthdays. Might as well give it a shot. It's never won for us!

1, 10, 20, 32, 39, 51. Those are some of the least-played numbers. (Numbers ending in 0, 1, and 9, and 32 because it is the first number after birhtdays end.)

8, 18, 28, 29, 31, 37.

Trust me on this one.

I'm going with prime numbers:
5-11-19-23-31-41

Just because.

Of course, if I wanted to play the lotto, I'd just buy a ticket. Never really been tempted to, though the damned scratchoff games and other things are everywhere in this city.

12 17 22 34 43 49

My standard referral fee is 10% of the gross.

8-10-12-17-20-32

I'll take mine in small, unmarked bills. No consecutive serial numbers.

1-13-33-39-43-44

something with 52. My number in high school sports.

wait--i sucked. nevermind. don't use 52. friggin number never did me a damn bit of good.

What is it with our cars?! They betray us when we are at our most vulnerable -- the weeks following our overspending for the holidays when our credit card is almost maxed out and our checkbook is as dry as the Sahara. Bastards!

Oh, 23 - 47 - 16 - 8 - 31 - 35

Good luck!

13-36-38-10-8-5

Good Luck.

or tell lies to the media about me
Well, I was with you up to that last clause, M.

Wait, telephone booths and bathroom walls, are they considered media?

Count me in:

8-11-17-38-39-41

5% for a no-dollar investment in a lottery ticket isn't the kind of opportunity that I will let pass. Just be civil in the line at the 7-11, please.

31-27-30-8-29-18

Completely from my arse, and pretty much random. If you win, I expect a big donation to MDA. :)

Oh, and a few bucks in the tipjar too - feel free to use that for tickets...