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something i can never have

I fell in love on Christmas Day. Deep, lustful, head-spinning love, the kind that takes your breath away and makes you drool like a slobbering idiot every time you gaze upon your new interest. I have dreamed about my new love. I have fantasized. I have concocted all kinds of ways in which I would be able to snatch this love away from its current possessor. I have pined. Oh, how I have pined. It happened at my father's house. It was a magical moment, a love at first sight occurrence that swept me off my feet. I literally swooned. I touched my new friend surreptitiously, feeling the sleek contours, taking in the warmth that exuded from my object of affection. As often happens in life, I have fallen hard for the unattainable. Why do we seek that which we can not have? Why do we reach for the stars, knowing damn well that the stars are not ours to be had? Why, oh, why, did I have to fall in love with a $250 coffee machine? It's name is Keurig . It rolls off my tongue, it does. Do you have any idea what a machine like this means to a coffee lover? Oh, I'm sure by now you've all heard of pods, the latest trend in coffee making, but have you seen a pod machine up close, in someone's home? Do you have any idea what it would be like for me to wake up in the morning and have a steaming, fresh, frothy cup of coffee twenty seconds later? And I could choose which of several blends I wanted? I mean, I could have a breakfast blend at 5am and a cup of Columbian at 5:30 without having to make two different pots of coffee! I could have tea in the afternoon and hot chocolate at night! Hazelnut after dinner! This beautiful, sexy machine could feed both my need for delicious coffee and my need for instant gratification. It is, without a doubt, the greatest invention of our time. Right now, at this very second, I am trembling with the thought of sticking a pod in its receptacle and making it foam. Alas, I cannot spend that amount of money on a coffee maker. In the true tradition of unrequited love, I will settle for something less, something not as spectacular, something that doesn't give me the same thrill when I come in physical contact with it, but nonetheless offers some of the same qualities. It will be a constant reminder of what I could not have and I will spend many a moment staring at whatever lesser machine I can latch on to and wondering, what if.... Sometimes I will yell out Keurig! YES! in the midst of making a cup of coffee, letting my fantasies slip out while I'm fondling my cheap, not nearly as lovely coffee pod machine. But that is love, isn't it? Settling for second best because the first best is a snobby, stuck up bitch who wouldn't give you the time of day. Well, it's love in the time of coffee pod machines. Oh, Keurig. Some day. Some day I shall grip you in my arms and never let you go. For now, I will just visit the object of my lustful desire at my father's house, where I will build up a feverish envy and simmering hate toward my parents for being able to obtain the one thing I want and can't have. Anyone know a good coffee therapist? Update: Thanks to Keith, I found this blog entry on the Senseo. Guess I won't be buying that cheap imitation. Time to find another not-as-great-as-the-real-thing machine. Update 2: I may be obsessive about coffee, but at least I'm not crazy about cookie jars.

Comments

you could always steal it. I mean, all's fair in love and war right?

Just Damn!

More heat in this post than in 90% of the p0rn out there.... thus proving the difference between passion and sex.

Michele, we have one in the office. Our supplies provider, Allied Office Products, provides it free, as long as we buy the coffee. If you have any say at work about the coffee situation, e-mail me and I'll get you a phone number.

(Poster in the background of climactic scene in 90s hacksploitation movie "Hackers")

TRUST YOUR TECHNOLUST

;)

=darwin

Michele, read this:
http://ntshma.blogspot.com/2004/12/perfect.html

If you want to go with pod coffee, you'd better stay away from the Senseo.

You should also read:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/news.php3?date=2004-12-06

Another stunning endorsement for the Senseo. (/sarcasm)

Are there any good/bad reviews on the Keurig thingies?

All you need is my review. I have fondled it, used it, drank from it, made love to it in my mind. It is flawless.

I got my wife one of these so that she would stop making a full pot of coffee every morning and drinking one cup, leaving the rest to sit till the next morning. Of course, she never uses it, preferring her nasty old Mr. Coffee. However, it does work well, makes good coffee, and costs a lot less than $250. You just have to be careful to stuff the pod completely in the little holder, or it will leak.

It comes in kiwi and is very phallic looking! I love it.

What kind of pods does it take and where do you get them?

Where does one get the Keurig coffee pods? Are they relatively easy to find, or does one have to order by mail order/find some obscure housewares store that carries them?

I have used the one:one pods, which used to be available at Target but I think they've stopped selling them - you can get them at amazon.com. I've also used the Senseo pods in it, which seem to be a little more available. I'd recommend stealing your Dad's pods and seeing if they work, most likely they will.

I definitely like the fact that Keurig pods come from a bunch of different coffee companies. One of the things that worried me at first glance at the Senseo (before learning of its other faults) is that the only compatible coffee is this brand with a weird European-y name I'd never heard of, and if that coffee sucks, who cares how good the machine is?

My father uses Green Mountain pods for his Keurig; I definitely like the taste of the GM coffee and I'd try to purchase those, if I ever decided to, oh, sell a kidney in order to afford a Keurig.

It just might be worth it.

Keurig. Sounds an awful lot like "Touareg", the Volkswagen SUV.

Michele, meaybe I missed something, but the front page of Keurig.com lists a B50 brewer for $169 with 20 bucks worth o' pods included and free shipping.

Granted, it's not comparable to a tradition 15-dollar job you can get at Target... but it's also not $250. $250 sounds extreme, like "a quarter of a thousand dollars." Screw that.

"traditional" 15-dollar job, I meant.

But I am in love with the B100!

What is the cost per cup... maybe you could jusify it on a break-even or net present value analysis.

(For some reason, I'll bet it's more expensive per cup though)

How do the pods (of coffee) compare to fresh beans that you grind yourself every morning? I'm a percolator woman myself ... (hate regular drip coffee makers) so I don't know where this system would stand in relation to others.

The taste is great, depending on what kind of pods you by. For me, the best part is being able to make one cup of fresh, steaming coffee at a time.

Oh, dear, dear Michele. You truly have been run through with Cupid's bolt haven't you? Smited. Smitten. Have smote.

I say go ahead and get the B100. Nothing else will do. Put it on whichever card you can afford to put away for awhile. You have to get the things that are important to you in life. If the Keurig B100 is going to make every day special and do it several times a day, then it's worth $250,000, isn't it?

Do it, do it, do it. Nothing else will do. Just get it. Pay for it later. Think of the escalation in your productivity. Think of the ease and satisfaction of rapidly making a fabulous, perfect cup of coffee any time, every time. Soooooooo worth it.

(Yes, I AM the devil.)

That think looks pretty neat, Michele. Now I think I'm in love. Damn Unrequitted love. Damn it to Hell.

I use the Melitta one too. It has special pods that you can either buy online or at Macy's. I love it!

Only if you do buy it, don't order the French Kisses. Icky. The hazelnut is really good, though! So is the medium roast.

What good is less than a pot of coffee?

Espresso by the (large, mug-sized) cup, sure. But coffee? What's the point?

Heh.

(All I have to say is I love my stovetop espresso maker. And if I had a spare thousand dollars or so, I'd love the Capresso automatic I'd buy with it.)

Hmm So.. does this mean your a Pod Person now???

::queue the Invasion of the Body Snatchers Music::

A Kiwi-hued phallus sounds like a serious infection to me.

I started running across these things in Taiwan and Brazil a few years ago - they're very popular. Makes a terrific cup o joe.

We have two B-100s at our office. Fan-fricking-tastic. I must figure out how to liberate one of these from the office- they don't need it.

Any word on how the home version (B-50) stacks up against the B-100?

Consumer Reports has done an article on coffee makers in thier latest issue. They rated ALL pod type cofee makers as substandard. And no, different pods require different coffee shapes. they are not interchangeable between makers.
You are stuck with only what the pod maker makes available.

If you just want to make a cup or two at a time, just get an inexpensive French press coffee maker. It's simple, cheap and there is no better way to make a perfect cup of coffee. Don't let the pod people take you...

Ah, but Consumer Reports didn't review the Keurig (which I broke down and ordered yesterday)!

We had a pod machine at work, and I'll admit that everyone loved it. I used it for tea now and then, but alas, I'm a diet cola in the morning guy and don't even drink coffee. Still, just buy the damned thing. Life is short.

At least you aren't an expresso drinker, you could have fallen in love with this (available in fuschia): http://www.illyusa.com/AB1666000/webpage.cfm?WebPage_ID=230&L=ARXE3Q

Michele,

My wife and I got a Black and Decker Home Cafe Brewing System and really enjoy it! Give it a shot.

We used these in our office in Rome and I always thought it was some sort of odd European thing. I guess it's made its way over?

I use the Melitta 1:1 for when I'm too lazy to go through the rigamarole and cleaning tasks of making a pot of french press coffee. It makes a perfectly drinkable cup of coffee, quick and easy. Which is just what I need in the morning when the only part of my brain operating is a tiny M&M-sized clump of cells in my brain stem.
I second the comment above about the hazelnut pod...it's rather good. I have a 20oz coffee mug so I usually do one pod of hazelnut, one pod of their decaf. A spoon of demerara sugar and I'm set.
I have heard the Keurig is better, but for 5x the price it better be.

A few years ago, I was out of town at a seminar when another person in attendance, a Green Mountain rep, offered to treat us to coffee the next day.

He brought in the super-duper version of the Keurig. It has a water-purifier and after you drop in the little pod, and get your fresh, hot cup of coffee, the machine automatically disposes of the empty pod into a hidden compartment. All you have to do is occasionally empty the bin.

I, too, fell in love, and as soon as I got home I looked for a home version on their website. At that time, they still didn't make a home version, but kept emailing me about the impending rollout of the beauty. Then...the day arrived, and I found myself stunned at the price.

Alas...twas not to be.

It's back to Mr. Coffee for me.

Ironically I was reading a review about the Keurig B50 the other day. You can read about it, the Seneseo, and a pod alternative to the Senseo (and a really fun story about coffee obsession) all over at Randy G's place: http://www.quiknet.com/~frcn/Coffee/Coffee.html

We conveniently have our Miss Sylvia on a timer and it turns on in the morning and warms up, so coffee is always quite close at hand.

Heh. I know what you mean, my parents just bought a Nespresso (Espresso machine by Nestle, clever eh?) machine, and they show it off at every opportunity.
Of course, my father is the same way with his George Foreman grill. Guess I know where I got my gadgetphilia from.

The best service and cheapest prices for Keurig k-cups is at Coffee Whiz (www.coffeewhiz.com). Right now, $9.50/25 k-cups (as opposed to $13.95 from Green Mountain.) -- plus free shipping if you buy 4 boxes. The carry Green Mountain, Deidrich and Gloria Jean. I've been buying from them since I got my Keurig as a gift (from my Mother, who is also crazy about hers) about 6 months ago. They are fast shipping -- even with their standard shipping I often get my order the next day -- and great to deal with.

I also love my Keurig. Even the kids use it without the k-cups for hot water for cocoa!