something i can never have
I fell in love on Christmas Day. Deep, lustful, head-spinning love, the kind that takes your breath away and makes you drool like a slobbering idiot every time you gaze upon your new interest. I have dreamed about my new love. I have fantasized. I have concocted all kinds of ways in which I would be able to snatch this love away from its current possessor. I have pined. Oh, how I have pined. It happened at my father's house. It was a magical moment, a love at first sight occurrence that swept me off my feet. I literally swooned. I touched my new friend surreptitiously, feeling the sleek contours, taking in the warmth that exuded from my object of affection. As often happens in life, I have fallen hard for the unattainable. Why do we seek that which we can not have? Why do we reach for the stars, knowing damn well that the stars are not ours to be had? Why, oh, why, did I have to fall in love with a $250 coffee machine? It's name is Keurig . It rolls off my tongue, it does. Do you have any idea what a machine like this means to a coffee lover? Oh, I'm sure by now you've all heard of pods, the latest trend in coffee making, but have you seen a pod machine up close, in someone's home? Do you have any idea what it would be like for me to wake up in the morning and have a steaming, fresh, frothy cup of coffee twenty seconds later? And I could choose which of several blends I wanted? I mean, I could have a breakfast blend at 5am and a cup of Columbian at 5:30 without having to make two different pots of coffee! I could have tea in the afternoon and hot chocolate at night! Hazelnut after dinner! This beautiful, sexy machine could feed both my need for delicious coffee and my need for instant gratification. It is, without a doubt, the greatest invention of our time. Right now, at this very second, I am trembling with the thought of sticking a pod in its receptacle and making it foam. Alas, I cannot spend that amount of money on a coffee maker. In the true tradition of unrequited love, I will settle for something less, something not as spectacular, something that doesn't give me the same thrill when I come in physical contact with it, but nonetheless offers some of the same qualities. It will be a constant reminder of what I could not have and I will spend many a moment staring at whatever lesser machine I can latch on to and wondering, what if.... Sometimes I will yell out Keurig! YES! in the midst of making a cup of coffee, letting my fantasies slip out while I'm fondling my cheap, not nearly as lovely coffee pod machine. But that is love, isn't it? Settling for second best because the first best is a snobby, stuck up bitch who wouldn't give you the time of day. Well, it's love in the time of coffee pod machines. Oh, Keurig. Some day. Some day I shall grip you in my arms and never let you go. For now, I will just visit the object of my lustful desire at my father's house, where I will build up a feverish envy and simmering hate toward my parents for being able to obtain the one thing I want and can't have. Anyone know a good coffee therapist? Update: Thanks to Keith, I found this blog entry on the Senseo. Guess I won't be buying that cheap imitation. Time to find another not-as-great-as-the-real-thing machine. Update 2: I may be obsessive about coffee, but at least I'm not crazy about cookie jars.