some words involving dead kittens, dookie, weeners and being cultured
So I've been trying to figure out a way to bribe you guys to vote for me in the thing which I swore I would not care about, but ended up caring about anyhow because I have this fragile ego that would just shatter if I were to lose.
Meryl has offered links in her sidebar if you vote for her.
Robb is going with the guilt thing, which worked for me (ok, he gets my vote on merit, too).
Treacher has just given up and come up with his own sure fire way of winning a poll.
I could go the sleazy route and offer you cleavage, but you've all seen that already and that also leaves out the [straight] female portion of my readership. I would offer some male frontal nudity, but everyone knows that girls really don't like to stare at the male appendage in quite the same way that men like to stare at tits.
Besides, how do you prove that you voted for me? For all I know, you could come over here and lie just to get one of the free lollipops I intended on handing out. Nevermind that, now.
Well, all I can tell you is that out of the top running culture blogs, my blog has the most culture like content. And if that's not enough to get you scurrying over there to vote for me well, then, I'll just concentrate all my intense link throwing power on people who have the good taste to vote for me.
And thus ends my pathetic little cry for attention, which was put here in place of the post I was working on about the Grammy nominations because I'm still trying to figure out if I'm just too hung up on my own definition of rock to see that these choices in the rock performance category have merit or if the Grammy people are completely out of touch with what rock is supposed to be.
The only category I'll go out on a limb for this year is the best rock album and whatever else Green Day's American Idiot album was nominated for. It's their best work since Dookie and deserving of what ever awards it reaps. The epic song Jesus of Suburbia is worth the price of the album alone, but the whole damn thing is excellent and, if listened to back to back with Kerplunk, shows just how much these guys have matured musically.
Anyhow, vote for me or I swear, I'll kill a dozen kittens in the next 24 hours.
Look, that was a CULTURE post!
Comments
"I could go the sleazy route and offer you cleavage, but you've all seen that already and that also leaves out the female portion of my readership."
Ahem!
Posted by: Lesbians | December 7, 2004 06:43 PM
Heh. Point taken, post edited.
Posted by: michele | December 7, 2004 06:46 PM
You know what we want. Don't make me say it. Again.
Posted by: Allah | December 7, 2004 06:57 PM
hmmmm.... you must have some friends in high places.
I have now voted for ASV per the a-double-lizzle, who has finally posted, extinguishing fears he may be 'kickin with da 72 white raisins'
his site is looking more stangnant than mine, bummer.
-lee
+++
Posted by: leesus | December 7, 2004 07:05 PM
I'm flashing back to DJ in the car at the train station. LOL.
Posted by: Faith | December 7, 2004 07:05 PM
Huh. This time when I voted, the super-secret-enter-this-code-number-thingy ended in "69." Given my role in pimpin your goodness, I think it's a sign.
Posted by: Everett | December 7, 2004 07:26 PM
don't kill the kittens. I voted yesterday, and tried again today, but Michael Moore was filming and I got scared.
Posted by: Melissa | December 7, 2004 07:32 PM
Hmm... I haven't voted in this topic yet, and I'm a poster at Wizbang. Tell you what: my vote and behind-the-scenes influence are yours if...
(and here's where I get diabolical)
If, and ONLY if, "Life Is A Lemon (And I Want My Money Back)" (Meat Loaf, Bat Out Of Hell II: Back Into Hell, written by Jim Steinman) makes it into your 500 Songs list.
Screw nudie pics. I know how to make someone HURT for their cause. Boobies are transitory, but self-degradation of this magnitude is eternal.
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!!
J.
Posted by: Jay Tea | December 7, 2004 07:56 PM
Frank J at IMAO sent 3000 hits my way for my endorsement, Michele. What can you do for me?
Just kidding. You had my endorsement at hello.
Posted by: sortapundit | December 7, 2004 07:59 PM
May you be overwhelmed by spam at Wizbang in punishment for that suggestion, Jay Tea.
Posted by: sortapundit | December 7, 2004 08:01 PM
Fuck it,Michelle, and if you know your Meatballs, you know...."it just doesn't matter."
If you has less Faith No More, and more....Frankie Goes To Hollywood...you'd clean the floor with those pikers.But you still like a good hockey fight, and for that, you deserve a Tim Horton's Honey Crueller.
Nice to see Allah up and about.You still make him go funny in the pants.
Posted by: carlton the doorman | December 7, 2004 08:07 PM
Michele, if you want it, you got mine LOL (but I did like the cleavage shot). All the best (you were a close second when I voted).
Posted by: john | December 7, 2004 08:07 PM
Ok, I voted for you, now begin the litten slaughter! What? "Or" not "and?"
Rats.
Posted by: spd rdr | December 7, 2004 08:08 PM
michele, baby... If I had the moral values of Kos' readers, I cheat you into first.
But it looks like you're doing a good job without it. I'll vote again tomorrow, I promise!
And how about we compromise. Show us pictures of you smothering a kitten with your clevage?
Posted by: Sharp as a Marble | December 7, 2004 08:22 PM
Apparently, while I don't have the morals of Kos' readers, I have their grammar capability... That should read "I'd cheat you into first"
Posted by: Sharp as a Marble | December 7, 2004 08:24 PM
the problem with kittens,
is that they grow up to become cats.
Posted by: Dave in Texas | December 7, 2004 08:33 PM
Ok Michele, I am being a good ASV reader and voting (daily) for you!
But Sondra K is pulling ahead of you - you know what this means. You need to get the big guns out (cleavage!!!!)
Good luck, you've got my vote, cleavage or no cleavage.
Posted by: Steve-O | December 7, 2004 10:40 PM
Guys - and girls - Michele has already gone way above and beyond the call of duty on the issue of boobs. She deserves our (multiple) votes just as a small token of thanks.
But Michele, even if you don't end up winning, you obviously have legions of admirers - just think about that poor dude who has 0.4%!
Posted by: MikeR | December 7, 2004 10:46 PM
err,, uhh Vote? Yeppers, I vote for . . .tits? Oh letme read that post 1 more time, for the 25th time.
Posted by: TexasTwist | December 7, 2004 11:22 PM
hoobastank for album of the year? I give up. Those grammy people are taking it up the ass for millions of dollars. I hope file-sharing destroys the record industry, and no stone is left on top of another. As much fun as it would be to run through the litany of horrible artists/genres that have come not from inspiration or creativity but from dollar signs, projected record sales, and big fat white guys with funny glasses; I won't do it. Not because I'm above it, but because it would be an infinite catalog.
Posted by: shank | December 8, 2004 08:44 AM
Seeing as how your song list is up to 450, you could offer the peons a chance to choose song numbers 476-500 if they vote for you once per day. That's 125 votes, and currently you're only about 75 away from SondraK. See, just depends on how much of a you-know-what you're willing to be.
Posted by: Fred | December 8, 2004 10:01 AM
Fred, that's a great idea but there's a guy who's been campaiging for Meatloaf to appear on my list and, well, I may be a whore but I refuse to lay down for Meatloaf.
Posted by: michele | December 8, 2004 10:05 AM
You don't lay down for Meatloaf.
Meatloaf puts you down.
Posted by: sortapundit | December 8, 2004 11:03 AM
I'm still troubled by the .4% Guy. How damaging would it be to one's psyche to get nominated for an award, only to receive FOUR votes out of every THOUSAND?
OK, so I'm not sufficiently troubled to actually vote for the guy, but still...
Posted by: MikeR | December 8, 2004 03:43 PM
Cleavage? Boobs? Where??
Michele, you would have had several days' more votes from me if you didn't diss the contest at the outset. Damn! But you deserve to win, and the momentum seems to be in your favor. Good luck, Culture Girl!
Posted by: Mark Aase | December 8, 2004 03:48 PM