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the childhood trauma of second place and how it figures into blogging

Well, I haven't exactly campaigned for my category in the weblog awards. In fact, I kind of dissed the awards last week. But for the sake of my competitive nature (which kicked in thanks to some challenging words) and because people are coming here, looking around and saying "tell me why I should vote for you," well then, ok. If I'm going to be in the running, I may as well whore myself for the top spot. Giving an award to a blog for its culture content would denote the fact that the blog does, indeed, have lots of content about culture, which could be described as subjects pertaining to the arts and the effect of those arts upon us. Well, I've got music, sports, television, movies, comic books, video games, novels, fiction of my own, toys,> and so many of these posts engage my readers in an interactive sort of give and take. Lots of quizzes and contests on the subject of culture, as well. Poetry contests, even! I'd like your vote. I'd really like to win mostly because I hate to lose. I'm not going to threaten you or bribe you or anything else unseemly. Yet. I just want to win, damn it. You know, I once ran for some school election thing. I think I was up for secretary, nominated by a teacher who I have yet to forgive for subjecting me to such public humilation. Becasue I got my ass kicked. Mainly because I had no friends to speak of and the votes were all about how many friends you had. I would have made a damn fine secretary, too. Much better than that Kenneth kid who beat me and who spent his time in office trying to feel up our president, Mary Theresa, in the copy room. I would have never tried to stick my hand up Mary Theresa's shirt. I would have just done my job to the best of my ability and condcuted myself with pride. But, no. Kenneth was cute and rich and his parents sent him to school the day of the elections with bags of candy to hand out to his classmates. All I had was my sincerity which, obviously, wasn't quite enough. I implore you to not let me live through another fifth grade fiasco. I have friends, damn it. I have readers. Don't make me relive the nightmare of a concession speech all over again. So yea, vote for me. I have the sudden urge to yell out "Vote for Pedro!" Below, for your perusal, several of my "culture" posts of 2004. And really, how many bloggers of culture have devoted their limited time to composing a list of 500 songs? By the way, a greatly missed blogger has come out of retirement to show his support for my ummm...culture. Has nothing to do with fishnet stockings, I swear. Thanks, Allah.
* Channeling Grandpa Simpson * George Lucas Ate My Soul * Ben Franklin and the Magic 8 Ball * Obsessive Compulsive Zombie Disorder * Salad Blogging * Babies, Songs and Stepford Mommies * All I Want for Christmas - A John Kerry Adventure * The High Cost of Living * Squeezed Out * Disney, Ducks and Goofiness * Happy Birthday Donald Duck, You Dirty Old Man * Dissecting Popeye on the Occasion of his 75th Birthday

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» http://www.allahpundit.com/archives/001085.html from Allah Is In The House
Vote for ASV More here... [Read More]

» HE'S BACK! from The SmarterCop
.... and Michelle earns Allah's praise.... [Read More]

Comments

I voted for ya, chickie. And I hate voting.

No problem. I didn't see you there so I passed over you previously (didn't vote at all).

You could return the favor too!

michele, in the gradeschool election thing, you should've used the sympathy ploy. I used it in fifth grade (I'm not the A student, I'm the trouble maker, nobody's gonna vote for me, boo-hoo) and it lead to my ladnslide victory. Children are sooooo easy to manipulate.

Trauma indeed. I hear you. Someone nominated me for "Student Council Treasurer" my senior year. Kind of odd, considering that it was a private school and I was one of maybe 5 poor kids in the whole place. What made someone think I had financial management skills?

Silly as it was, once I was in the competition, I did my damndest to win.

I was up against an exchange student from China. Everyone called her "Pheobe." She didn't have a lot of friends on campus, if any at all, because nobody could understand a freaking word she said. Her English was absolutely horrible.

But she was cute. Cute as a fucking button. Short and perky and smiley and everything that a good girl should be.

I was opinionated, headstrong and sarcastic. I worked hard. I gave a lot to the school. Not to mention, I'm fluent in the language.

Well. Naturally, of course, Pheobe won the election.

Fuck. Perky.

You have my vote! Even if we have almost nothing in common culturally, your writing always draws me back.

There are 4 contemporary writers (3 of them bloggers) that are "must reads" - Michele, Jeff Harrell, Mohammed at Iraq the Model and Peggy Noonan. They are the best columnists of our time, IMHO.

i just checked out the blog leading the race and my goodness, it isn't even in the same class as asv. imho of course. i may just have to dust off my "chicago voting machine" code. :)

I'm your friend, and I voted for you at least twice.

John

Ugh, vote in the "Blogs that were nominated that we thought were worthy of you having a chance to vote for" contest? When neither of my blogs were even fricking mentioned (never mind that we broke two major news stories months before the mainstream media).

Okay.

Got it, Brainster. You're not in the contest, so anyone else in it is not worthy of a vote.

contest schmontest. It's a horse-and-pony show. And Michele gets my vote, even tho I'm not big on the "culture" stuff. It's just the right thing to do, dammit.

Allah has spoken! Almost makes up for him not leaving last remarks (with comments allowed ;) )
I must admit to divided loyalties - I split my voting between Michele and the Llamas.

Brainster - I understand your disappointment at not making the final cut, but is a ballot like this something we want to copy? (Australian NSW 1999 Parliamentary election ballot: http://www.schools.nsw.edu.au/sites/nswconstitution/images/quotas/ballot_girl.jpg)

Lysander

So...I previously was convinced that AllahPundit was Curt Schilling.
Now, we all know...Michelle is Allah!!

:c)

Oh crap...cardinal sin...I mean of course, MICHELE is Allah. I blame all the othe double-l's I typed in my last message.

that was the BEST story I have heard in a while. Thanks ASV.

-ron