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germ warfare

As noted yesterday, I've got a cold. Except, it's more than just a cold. Hasn't quite reached flu stage yet, but I know that the commander of the germ squad inside my body is right now finalizing his plans for the next phase of the attack and he's bucking for a promotion or a new stripe on his uniform. He's the Patton of germs. Yesterday's attack was a surprise one. Usually I feel something coming on, but this time it was just there, as if my immune system inadvertently stepped on a landmine. How clever those germs are. So now I just wait. I tried to fend off the coming attack, shoring up my base with Tylenol Flu, but I think this army is too strong for me. I can feel myself weakening already and even as I swallow the Echinacea I found in the back of the cabinet, I can hear the commander germ laughing. Echinacea is a pre-battle weapon, you idiot! It's too late for your silly homeopathic counter attacks! So I think I'll just lay back and take it like a (wo)man. Let them get their attack over with, let them spread throughout my body in their battle formations, attacking my chest, my back, my ears and throat, raising my body temperature, and just when they are ready to settle in for the long haul, I'll drown them with a deadly combination of NyQuil and orange juice. Then I'll just sleep it off as the germ commander slowly realizes he's been not quite foiled, but defeated post-battle. He had a good run. I lost half a day's work yesterday and I'll lose a full day today. But I'll recover nicely, just in time for the busy half of the week, and everyone knows that living well is the best revenge. Steak for lunch tomorrow! Even though I'll be home sick today, I'll try to make the best of it. No laying around on the couch watching cartoons all day for me (everyone knows the best cartoons are on at night, anyhow). No, I'll wrap myself up in a blanket, stack my reinforcements (Excedrin Migraine, herbal tea, tissues) next to the desk in the home office and work the germs away. I've got stories to write. A list to finish. Email to catch up on. Christmas stories to tell. After an hour of this, I'll feel like I'm wasting my day off, even though it's not really a day off, as the germ army has forced my hand here, but I'm not at work and therefore should be doing something that's on par with the importance of work, so as not to feel lazy and unaccomplished. So I will, later on, attempt to mop the floor or prepare some elaborate dinner my family will never eat or do seven loads of laundry, just so I can feel like my day was not empty sea of blogging and playing games. It's a mental battle I fight with myself not only when I'm sick, but every Saturday and Sunday. No rest for the wicked, or something like that. I thank the late Grandma Millie for instilling in me the idea that things like reading, watching television and resting are signs of weakness and worthlessness and I should always be walking around the house with a dustrag, looking for stray specks of dirt, or serving my man. Serving him what? I don't know. Food, drink, whatever. Just as long as I remember that my life's purpose is to have a clean house, a busy stove and a content husband. Grandma, who will have been dead for six years this week, would be none too pleased with me at the moment as my house is not clean, my stove is not busy and my husband, well, let's just say he's content in ways that grandma wasn't referring to. If you give a man that kind of contentment, he won't care if you aren't donning an apron and serving him dinner. Unless, of course, you're not wearing anything under the apron and "serving him dinner" is a clever euphemism. Well, that was off track. And the germ commander has just made it known that he's all about attacking the stomach today. Which calls for a very abrupt end to this post.

Comments

I have a good secret weapon for you in the Germ Wars - Thera Flu Maximum Strength Nighttime formula. Caution: Causes MARKED drousiness. Having ANY trouble sleeping with this cold ? Thera Flu Nighttime is the answer. Amazing stuff. Better than Nyquil.

Good luck with your plan of attack. I hope it is more effective than mine was.

My "cold" hit Wednesday morning. The fever didn't set in until Thanksgiving night. Tylenol Flu? TheraFlu? Well, they helped Friday and most of Saturday - long enough to have me hope I could make it until Monday to see my doctor instead of someone I didn't know.

That's when those damn germs gave me their new counterattack. Saturday might the fever hit 103.1, and never went below 101 with medication. Sunday AM I had to sign up reinforcements, had to enlist my allies.... I went to the ER.

Needless to say, I've gained a new admiration for antibiotics. Haven't had any prescribed in about 8 years. Five days now instead of ten. Took a prescribed double dose on day one - about noon Sunday. The 102 degree fever early that afternoon went down to an occassional 99 yesterday, and today I'm headed bacck to a (mainly) full day of work.

Guess I'm just saying I hope you have some contingency plans in place. And beat those bastards!

It may be too late for echinacea, but it is not too late for Zicam. Marvelous stuff. I am on my third bout of "early warning" cold symptoms in the past 6 weeks (I have been constantly surrounded by sick people) and each time I start taking the Zicam and I am better in 2-3 days. Hope you feel better.

Er, M, Echinacea is an herb, so you were trying an herbal therapy to boost your immune system, which, like homeopathy, is Complementary and Alternative Medicine. Homeopathy is a bit different than the use of herbs.

Besides, what with the Moral Mandate earlier this month, you possibly now may be prohibited from using a word like that in public communication due to its similarity to the queer word and thus corrupting to young minds on the Internet. (TOTC) Then, again, maybe Rehnquist has to die first.

Oh, gawd..don't tell me your Grandma Millie was a Mildred?

That was my late maternal Grandma's name (though we would NEVER refer to her as "Millie")..and happily my mom did NOT give me her name as my middle name!

My Grandma Mildred was also a clean freak (my MOM a clean freak who would go into a tizzy before my grandparents visited) but I was shocked to find out she was doing much more than Pledging the dining room table for Grandpa to eat more than dinner on ... I was a teen when I started to walk into my parents kitchen after a holiday dinner, my grandmother with her hands in the sink rinsing dishes and grandpa behind her with his own busy hands, and grandma giggling and encouraging him like a ... like a ... well like a teen! and I thought at the time that TEENS invented sex!!

Stay warm, sleep, chicken broth and soap operas. Screw the housework ...

Take care!

For a long time I just laughed off the people who claimed that taking mega doses of Vitamin C would stave off a cold. Well the last three times I have felt that itchy feeling in my throat that signals an upcoming cold I took mega-doses of C through-out the day (it isn't stored in the body) and the result has been no cold. Maybe its just me. Anyway, orange juice alone does not have enough C FWIW.

White Blood Cell! You magnificent bastard, I read your book!

NyQuil and Chicken Soup!

The two best ways to limit the duration of an illness are to sleep and rest as much as possible, screw the guilt, and let the fever burn. The all-over icky, achy feeling and fever are both direct products of your immune system, not something the pathogen did, and they do help, more than you'd think.

"...and I should always be walking around the house with a dustrag, looking for stray specks of dirt..."

dude. that's the kinda stuff tweakers do. your late Grandmother wouldn't want you to act like a tweaker, would she?

watch some TV. oh, hey - supposedly, Ken Jennings loses on Jeopardy tonight - you could watch that.

Apparently it is a pincer attack on New York and Texas. Abby and I are both getting the fever, bad achy crap. Dang.

Fighting back with Nyquil, the stuffy achy coughing sneezing why-is-the-room-spinning nighttime cold medicine.