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of repeats and he-man

Yes, another new header. I kinda like this one. It's a photo of DJ sledding superimposed over a winter scene from the local schoolyard. I do apologize for all the repeats lately - life has been busy, mostly in good ways. And who knows, maybe you missed some of this stuff the first time around. I've been told my some friends that I am giving short shrift to Thanksgiving by doing so many Christmas posts. So, in order to get rid of the guilt I feel now for dissing the turkeys and Pilgrims, I give you my favorite Thanksgiving post ever. [this was part of my When Action Figures Come Alive series]

Thanksgiving With He-Man

Spiderman: I still don't see why we all have to have Thanksgiving mmdance.gif
together. Superheroes, villians, goth people - it's a recipe for disaster!
Batman: Ha! Remember last year? Mark McGwire's head popped off in that free-for-all.
Boba Fett: Yea, the free-for-all that you started!
Skeletor: Shut up, Fett. You were the one that made us play drinking games. It's your fault.
Madman: Now, now, lets not rehash last year. I say we start this year off with something nice. How about we all go around the table and say what we are thankful for?
Evil Ash: Oh, geez. We all gonna hold hands and bow our heads in prayer, too?
Buddy Christ: You got a problem with that, bad ass?
Evil Ash: Sorry, Jesus.
Madman: Ok, Spawn, why don't you start?

Spawn stands up, glass of whiskey in his hand.

Spawn: I'm thankful for that outfit Asuka is wearing today.
Hubba Hubba!
He-Man: Hey! You can't talk about my girlfriend like that!
Spawn (laughing maniacally): Yourgirlfriend? I've been sleeping with her for three weeks!
He-Man: Liar!
Asuka: Umm....

He-Man: NOOOOOO! Say it isn't true!!
Asuka: Ummm....
Spawn: Told ya!

He-Man runs from the room crying

Spiderman: Oh, for Christ's sake!
Buddy Christ: Hey, I had nothing to do with this, man.
Madman: Well, let's wait on dinner a bit until we all calm down. Let's watch some football.

They all gather in the living room to watch the game. Fifteen minutes later, there's a crashing sound. He-Man comes swinging through the window on a rope, his feet aimed for Spawn's head. He swings down on top of Spawn. They tumble to the ground and when Spawn stands up, his cape is ripped in half.

Spawn: You son of a bitch! You mother fucking asshole! You are dead! Do you hear me? DEAD!
He-Man: Yea, I'm shaking in my boots, you girlfriend stealer!
Spawn: My fucking cape. I can't believe it. You'll pay for this you asswipe!

Spawn runs from the room, still yelling obscenities.

Skeletor: Well, another fine Thanksgiving this is turning into.
Death: I think it's rather amusing.
Sandman: You would.
Boba Fett: Is that food ready yet? I'm starving.
Madman: The turkey should be just about cooked. Let's go back into the dining room.

Everyone moves towards the dining area while He-Man lingers, looking around.

Evil Ash: What's the matter He-Man, looking for your balls?
He-Man: Shut up, you freak. Hey, has anyone seen Battlecat?
Green Goblin: I think I saw him fucking your girlfriend. HAHAHAH!

They meet the others in the dining area.

Madman: Tada! I present to you the most amazing Thanksgiving meal ever!

Several Street Fighter guys bring in plates heaped with food and set them on the table.

Madman: Edward Scissorhands, would you do the honors, please?
Edward (mumbling): Every year, it's Edward cut the turkey, Edward cut the pies.
Spiderman: That is the hugest turkey I have ever seen. I can't wait to dig in.
He-Man: Where the hell is Battlecat?
Spawn: Really. He was just dying to dig into his plate.

Edward finishes slicing the meat and everyone clamors for the different plates. They dig in right away, eating hungrily and noisily.

Spawn: Hold up! I would like to make a toast before we all stuff ourselves full of this food.

He stands and raises his glass of whiskey, Asuka at his side.

Han Solo: I have a bad feeling about this...
Spawn: I thought I would not be able to eat this meal, I was so depsondent over He-Man ripping my cape. But there are ways to get over things. A little action from Asuka here didn't hurt....
He-Man (his mouth full of food): You bastards! Do you have to announce it?
Spawn: You know, He-Man, they say revenge is a dish best served cold, but I would much rather serve it hot.
He-Man: What the hell does that mean?
Spawn (mimicing He-Man): Has anyone seen Battlecat?

He-Man and everyone else stop chewing, stop talking and look up at Spawn, forks in midair. Spawn cackles.

Spawn: Enjoying the meat, He-Man?
He-Man (staring down at his plate in horror) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Chaos ensues. Everyone is either puking or running out of the room. He-Man faints. And Boba Fett calmly sits and passes himself some more meat.

Buddy Christ: Another Thanksgiving shot to hell.

[other action figure posts here] That's it for me today - we've got Christmas lights to hang while the weather is still cooperating and a birthday to celebrate.

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Comments

Lovely, as always.

I always thought He-Man was bi anyway. You know the whole "I'm He-Man now, but all that means is that I took off my lavender tights." That and that the hottest chicks around him were either his sister or a villain. Makes for a screwed up sexual identity.

Rocky doesn't get it.

And that's a mighty fine looking jacket DJ has on while sledding...not to take away from the He-Man talk..

I do apologize for all the repeats lately
It's your blog, stop apologizing! You don't owe us anything. We are happy to take whatever you give.

Spider-Man. Otherwise it's fabulous.

Dining on Battle Cat. Did not see that coming. Beautiful!

I never would have picked up that that's two shots unless you told me. Very nice photoshopping job.

He-Man...gawd. My sons had every figure they could get their hands on, both Battle-Cat and Panthor, plus He-Man's castle. It's been years since they were old enough to play with those old toys, yet the oddest thing has happened over time ever since we packed everything up (or so I thought)....there was a figure of He-Man's father, the king, and every so often I keep coming across his little gold plastic crown in the oddest places around the house.

In the junk drawer, as I search for batteries....on the floor of the hall closet....sitting on a shelf of one of the bookcases in the living room.

Either the crown is making a thorough sweep of the house, searching for its rightful owner, or my inability lately to keep more than one thought active in my rapidly declining brain cells, I'm absentmindedly picking it up each time, thinking "I really need to put this away before I lose it" and then setting it down when some other pressing event comes along, like hosing the cat's latest hairball offering from the front step - until I find the crown anew; lather, rinse, repeat.

I prefer the first explanation.

"And Boba Fett calmly sits and passes himself some more meat."

That line kills me.

:)

Anybody know who the little dancing guy at the top of the post is? I was listening to "The Surfin' Bird" as I began reading it, and it synced up perfectly.