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smoke 'em if you got 'em

You know what's really interesting? When a 400 lb. stranger chastises you for smoking on National Smoke-Out day and proceeds to lecture you about your health and well being. And then he waddles across the street and into McDonald's. I'll tell everyone who reminds me that today is Smoke Out day the same thing I tell people who remind me about TV Turn-off Week. STFU, MYOB and GBTW.

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Comments

My last job was so anti-smoking that you couldn't do it anywhere on the property. And there were lots of people happy to remind me what day it was. Glad I quit.

I always try to smoke a couple of extra ones this day each year. I'm doing my part to support American workers (although mine do consist of a smooth blend of Turkish and domestic tobacco). Flavor country ahoy.

Or when Condom Party-style AIDS Benefits are held where there's several backrooms of no-condom orgies going on. Kinda makes you wonder if viruses are smarter than humans.

You should tell them DILLIGAF (does it look like I give a ... well, you figure it out).

I'll light up my last two Panter's just for you and for Lileks today Michele.

And then I'll go get some more finely aged tobacco just to spite the world.

I would comment, but Im on my cigarette break.

you totally blew it. you had some awesome options to choose from there:

1. Shut the fuck up Donny!
2. You could have delivered the great equalizer...commonnly known as a bitch slap. A silent middle finger will work too.
3. Put your cigarette out on his double chin (or triple where available)
4. challenge him to a footrace. Who's healthy now, tons o' fun?
creativity, people, is a gift. use it.

Well, if it's any consolation -- within a few years he'll be considered an even bigger degenerate and threat to society than you.

Hey I don't smoke, never have, probably never will...anything legal anyway. And I'll tell you that sometimes smokers irritate me. Butts left on ground mostly, but sometimes the exhaled smoke waters my eyes or the little stream of smoke from a cigarette tickles my nose and makes me sneeze. Yes I have kissed an ashtray. None of that comes close to the irritation caused by some whiney snot bitching about smokers.

So, if you're a smoker, light one up for me today, just to annoy them back...okay?

The best and most heartfelt anti-smoking lecture I have ever heard was delivered by a friend who was so drunk at the time that he only remained upright by leaning against the wall.

Hey I know that a 400lb man can't win a footrace...but do smokers and their depleted lung capacity have that much of an edge? It's gotta be slight. lol

People should never tell others what to do, so long as they're not infringed upon.

All men who smoke can simply reply: ST.

OK,I'm an acronym challenged individual,but my best guesses are GBTW= get back to work and ST=Suck This.Am I close?(my confusion lies in that notion that Michele would use something a little...stronger to end with)

Shut the fuck up, mind your own business, and get back to work.

My sentiments exactly. A similar, albeit lower-key incident happened to me yesterday, when a 60-something co-worker said that my snack-size bag of Sun Chips weren't good for me. I waited until she was in her office before I popped by and hissed "Mind your own business!" and walked off. In hindsight, I should've brushed the comment off, especially since she's prone to weird moments like that, but I was thrown off by her cluelessness.

Ooh! Another good one is "sod off wanker". Always sounded like both an insult and a weapon to me.

/feeling somewhat British with my Dutch cigars

Nat'l whatever days make me sick either way.

There are too many.

I will honor whatever in my way, on my time, as I see fit.

I'll buy into it when I hear of some real ones.

Any ideas?

"Hey, you fat bastard, my LDH number is going through the roof from your second-hand blubber!"

ST= Smoke this.

Oddly I picked today, at random, to try to stop smoking. It's Smoke-Out Day? Who knew? It's just when I ran out of smokes.

Hmmmm .... yet another good reason to pick up a cig.

I'll be lighting up a Royal Jamaican corona when I get home today, just on general principles.

I'm a non-smoker (except for national smoke-out day), not an anti-smoker. I've always found that smokers and I can work something out so that they can smoke and their smoke isn't bothering me. I'm another of those who find smokers to be far more polite than anti-smokers.

Some of the most polite people I know are my smoking friends. When we were in college and I'd light up the occasional smoke, I'd get long long lectures from the smokers about why I shouldn't start...trying to save me from myself, I guess!

Once when I was having lunch with several friends at an outdoor restaurant a woman 3 tables away came over and proceeded to bitch out my friend for smoking. As she righteously stomped away, we all looked at each other. Without a word, the nonsmokers all held out our hands; the smokers handed out the cigs and everybody at the table lit up. We made sure to blow all the smoke in her direction.

I just quit at the beginning of this month. Zyban baby. And no, no side affects to speak of, none at all, it doesn't make me manic...not one bit...but I do giggle more...okay, I never was a giggler before...even as a child I was more of a deep chuckler...but okay, other than than...there's been an increase in my disjointed rambling and I refuse to join the other former smokers who go on and on and on about how wonderful they feel and how good food tastes and how it's just soooooo great to not have to wake up and go have a smoke first thing...not to mention the ridiculous amount of money I seem to have left over at the end of the pay period now. Nope...not going to be one of them, cuz gosh and golly, how annoying is that? And is "Lost" one of the best shows you've ever seen or is everything else so crappy that it just seems to rock in comparrison?

I know...I know...Donny here, STFU.

I'm fat and an occasional cigar smoker... so I can't tell anyone anything..

The anti-smoking thing goes a bit far -one of the places I work not only doesn't permit smoking indoors, but also doesn't allow it within 30 feet of the building - meaning that smokers on rainy days have to stand in the middle of the parking lot instead of under the awning, just so someone walking by doesn't catch a wiff of smoke.

I never smoke at work, but it still bugs me.