« A Secular Season's Greetings | Main | smoke 'em if you got 'em »

poisoning children in the park

I just love the smell of overreaction in the morning. Smells like....hysteria.

A few bloggers are raising the red flag and screaming in hysterics about a proposed program to shove bottles of poison down the throats of babies in order to turn up the profit margin for companies like Dow and Exxon. Apparently, this program, sponsored by the EPA and headed up by Bush cronies, will have low income parents sacrificing the future health of their children all for some cash, a t-shirt and a cam corder.

Oh, wait. That's not what's happening at all. Gee, you would think that people would do a little bit of research before going off all chicken little and claiming that the government is going to wantonly spray toddlers with pesticides in some bizarre biological experiment.

The program is called CHEERS - Children's Environmental Exposure Research Study.

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency will conduct a Children's Environmental Exposure Research Study (CHEERS) to better understand how young children come into contact with pesticides and other chemicals in their homes. Children can come into contact with various chemicals in their homes through the air they breathe, food they eat and the surfaces they touch.

Ok, so they are not spraying down the kids with hoses bursting with poison?

Participants are not required to use pesticides or to change any of their regular household routines or how they normally use bug sprays (pesticides).

Do we understand how this works now? No one is asking people to submit their children to experiments. No one is forcing Ajax down a baby's throat. See what happens when you actually read, digest and think before you react? You come up with the truth, rather than some shrill, panicky screed about how the big bad Republicans don't want you to have an abortion, but they'll drown your babies in chemicals on purpose. And give you a t-shirt in return!

Is there any risk to me and my family?

No. You and your child will not experience any risks from participating in this study.

We will not ask any parent to apply pesticides in their home to be a part of this study.

You are not required to change any of your regular household routines.

Please, spare us the images of poverty-stricken babies being held feet over toxic fire while their poor parents look on and the CEO of Dow rubs his hands in glee. You've got the picture all wrong and what's sad is, you know it. In fact, someone left a link to the CHEERS site in the comments of one of the bloggers and lo and behold, it was deleted. It's called fact checking, kids and it would have saved you from another bout of righteous anger. But you go ahead and sign that petition. After all, it's For The Children©.

Update: Thanks to Hubris for the link to this WaPo article. Basically, if you sign that petition, you are against protecting future children against the poison in your teflon pans! You are terrible, terrible people!


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference poisoning children in the park:

» Check the Methodology from Game the World
There are two types of experiments that a scientist can perform. The first is to change one condition of the status quo and observe the results. A key element of this type of experiment is that one must know the status quo in order to know what is an o... [Read More]


The lefties are going to find bridge diving is fun, until you hit the pavement.

These people obviously lack skills in reading comprehension. Recent public school grad -- most likely.

My wife saw this story (in hysterical form) on her parenting discussion group site. I've sent her the link and the relevant quotes. Thanks for the public service.

Sounds to me like the purpose of the program could be a public health crackdown on pesticides, which is the kind of thing the Lefties usually warm to.

Once these rants start,however,they become the stuff of urban legend and can stick around in the popular psyche.I still get somebody at least once a week telling me at the dog park that "Swiffers will kill your dog/cat".Been totally debunked but many people just WANT these things to be true to prove their heart-felt conviction of the VRWC.

Thanks for the links. That was good for a laugh.

once again, man's thirst for knowledge and moral compass is led astray by his own laziness and Candide-ian quest to acheive what is right for everyone. For a race that's so full of itself, we are without a doubt the stupidest blundering idiots.

The first link has been changed; it now goes to a photo of a dog in a pirate costume on the same blog. Pretty funny stuff. If you want to read the entry Michele originally linked to, go to http://www.peskyapostrophe.com/index.php/weblog/ and scroll down to the Wednesday entry with the photo of a group of babies. Or should that be "a babble of babies"?

mbruce: The proper reply to "Swiffers will kill your pet!" is "No, lady. I will."

Try it!

Yes, it's probably pretty reactionary. I'm more concerned with the proposal for mandatory mental health screenings I've been hearing about vaguely over the past few weeks.

That DOES sound like something the government would do - and something I don't want them to go anywhere near.

How do they think this study would pose a risk anyway? Isn't the whole idea of a STUDY that people do the exact same thing as normal? If anything, wouldn't they be MORE careful?

Even I can't find anything wrong with this, and I have a personal vendetta against Dow Chemical (having had bad experiences with people from Midland, including the single meanest person I have ever run across in my life).