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What's Wrong With This Picture?

Ok, so it's almost useless for me to pick on Alex Ross at this point because my hatred for him runs so deep that my opinions are somewhat tainted. But take a look at the cover for Superman: Strength #2 that goes on sale in February. [click for larger image] See anything wrong with this picture? I mean, besides the fact that the young girl is eagerly awaiting Superman's package or that the young boy in the background is fixated on his crotch?


Is that Dick Cheney playing the role of Superman?

The bare chest?

*This comment brought to you by the letter S.

I think the young boy is more of an ass man, from the looks of it.

Hint: he's an extreme LEFTist

Sheesh... a bit of anatomical freakishness going on here that even exaggerated perspective doesn't explain.

Looks like Mr. S needs to figure out how stole part of his back .. and to lay off mocha frappacinos..the cream just seems to go straight to his thighs..

That's creepier than the Vin Diesel-Coke bottle thing on Lileks' Interior Desecrations site.

It looks like some Russian statue representing the strength of the proletariat or some other noble virtue while they were killing their people.

That's nasty.

Imperial Keeper

hey, there's nothing wrong with a lady wantin' a little codpeice action now and then. and most of you women out there already know this oh so well...

"Looks like Mr. S needs to figure out how stole part of his back"

I think that's his cape wrapping around his right side. Also, a symbol of America is doing something good, which can't be right. Come on, Ross.

The girl in the middle has had a left hand tranplanted onto her right arm. She must have had an accident and the only donor hand available was a left one.

teh winner is you


The young girl reaching for the package (which to my eye looks, due to unfortunate shadowing (?), not dressed left but, umm, removed?) has had her "starboard" xxxx replaced with a "port" xxxx!

The thighs are disproportionate to the body and look very female. (Can you say saddlebags?) The head (the one on the shoulders) is too small.

Note to all Alex Ross fans: the oly reason we're so harsh here is because we know Ross can do better.

And yes, the girl looking at his crotch IS weird. OK, so a man in tights - painted in hyper-realist fashion - looks odd anyway. But Ross is too good an artist NOT to notice the overall effect of his own painting. I'm willing to write it off as him having a Bad Day.

But the girl's left hand on her right arm is the real blooper. Murphy wins and goes on the Lightning Round. ;)


It's set in the '50s or early '60s, what with the girls in pigtails, so maybe it's a school for Thalidomide babies.

Communist realism a bit? Then again its Superman, the lamest superhero going.

Oh....yeah, that girl's hand isn't correct. I thought maybe it was the thought of Superman diligently working out with a Thighmaster.

The shadow of the "package", falling on Supe's right thigh is larger than the actual "package" would suggest. Or maybe it's just me.

And the positions of the children spell out the word "WAR." Weird.

OK, I'll fight the running orthodoxy.

I just held up my right hand as if to shield myself from falling rocks and/or a threateningly virile superhero. With the right hand rotated, the thumb would be where it's shown in the drawing. He just didn't do a great job of conveying depth (a skin fold line across the base of the thumb would have done it). He did show the pinky running to the base of the hand down toward the distal end of the ulna where it pokes out, ergo...right hand.

I should mention, however, that she has only three fingers and a thumb on that hand.

It could be an artist blunder unless Uberman's huge left quadricep is blocking out the head of someone who's about to give him the big "reach-around" and Pippy's right arm is actually down by her side.

I think that's her pinky, not her thumb. It looks too long and slender to be a thumb. So I don't think we're really seeing a "Bill the Galactic Hero" rip-off here.

However, Supe's girdle is showing, which is wrong.

And GWM wins the lightning round! :)

Congratulations, you found the Hidden Message which explains the weird posture of the girl's arm.

So what's going ON here?

We all know that Supes is a symbol of America. Old news. And it looks like literally the sky is falling, and Supes holds it up.

We have the hidden word "WAR" and some weird sexual stuff. What does it all add up to?

We enter the final round... with great prizes to be won!


Take a look at Filthy's hand: his three large fingers are clustered, but the pinky is sticking way out. I think we're seeing that here.


Let me explain something about Alex Ross:

click for bigger.

Now you may proceed with analyzing the Superman picture.

Wait a minute... does Bush have two left eyebrows in that picture?

It's the pigtails. Nobody wears pigtails anymore.

Every time I see that stupid vampire picture, I think it looks a lot more like Paul Newman than W.

Maybe it's just me.

what about fact that The Man of Steel has obviously put his red panties on inside-out and backwards and Lois has yet to discover "StainStik"

It looks like one of those images they use to illustrate the Book of Mormon.

It's Exhibit A in Michael Jackson's upcoming trial. The artist forgot the Peter Pan hat, so Michael kept it in his hidden room.

It's a eff'g sock.

I'm offended by the lack of diversity among the children. Can't we have a group of imperiled youngsters that "looks like America?"

the girl's raised right arm, has a "left hand" on it instead of a "right hand". It jumped right out at me, being an artist lol.

Kids, this is why Soviet Constructionist painters and LSD don't mix, mmmkay?

The first thing I noticed was the proportions are all off. Unless superman is at least 8 ft tall (probably taller) the girl on his right (or is it his left :) leg is at most 2 1/2 ft tall. She is in the foreground and only comes up to a bit above the knee. Maybe he is standing on some tree stumps or something?

Supe that tall would really have some trouble with the old secret identity.

The "off" hand is the obvious mistake, of course.

The waist is all wrong and those definitely are two left eyebrows.

This guy has some sort of perv-y freudian thing going on here... this picture made me feel icky even before all the weird details registered in my brain.

It's the thighs v. the midsection. Wrong, all wrong.

Uh, also, everyone is blindingly white. What is this, Superman saving the Nazi youth brigade?

Wow, there are so many things wrong with that picture. It's clearly not up to his usual standards.

I'm clearly behind the curve here. I never realized that Alex Ross did that stupid vampire pic. Gad dammit, and here I liked the guy's work. I even bought his big coffee table book. Why do so many artists end up being self-righteous dicks?

Then again, he's a professional illustrator, not an editorial cartoonist. Maybe to him the VV cover was just another commission. (He said hopefully, his words unconvincing even to his own ears.)

Also, the "left" hand is nearly inverted, but the shadow on Supe's "Man of Steel" is right-side-up.

What's wrong with the vampire picture? I thought vampires were supposed to be cool and all that shizzat. George W. as Spike -- I'm down with it! [/SARCASM MAYBE]

As for the Superman pic: what an... interesting melange of Soviet-era poster art and homoeroticism. And that's all I have to say about it.