« because i can | Main | radio: disturbing »

there's got to be a morning after

Here's a word of advice to anyone thinking of letting a bunch of teenagers have the run of your house for the evening:


I'm not going to elaborate. Let's just say that I woke up with a hangover today and I haven't had a drink in weeks.

Did we scare them? Hell yes. And it was more out of a desire to wipe the punkass smile off of the faces of a few of the more obnoxious girls than a desire to make the party fun.

In the end, it was simplicity that did them in. We had no elaborate plan in place, we just winged it. While they were watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre in the living room, my hubsand revved up the chainsaw sounds on the computer in the adjacent office. While they were freaking out about that, my brother-in-law crept down the hallway in a hideous mask and wig outfit, holding a fake machete. He burst into the living room screaming like a maniac just as my sister and I started banging at the living room window, while wearing equally hideous masks.

It sounds lame, I know. But wow, did they crap their pants. Some of them refused to finish watching the movie because they were so freaked out by the scare that they went in Nat's room to watch the Friends DVD. Babies. DJ's friends - the 11 year olds - were the least scared out of the whole group. The 14 year old girls who swore all week that nothing scares them probably got very little sleep last night as my brother-in-law's masked visage haunted their minds.

And I'm happy about this because, let me tell you, the obnoxious level of 14 year old girls is always turned up to 11. I spent most of the night staring at the clock and willing it to move to the time when the parents would arrive to take their beasts home. When I finally got to bed, I dreamed that I was being attacked by a horde of teenage zombies who all had PMS. Worst. Dream. Ever.

I did invite them all back here today to clean up the yard, though.

Happy Halloween, everyone. Hope you get more treats than tricks. Unless, of course, you prefer the tricks. Getting them. Not turning them. Because that's a whole different meaning of getting candy in your bag.

[Side note: The lounge version of Disturbed's Down with the Sickness heard during Dawn of the Dead is inspired genius. If I can scare up an mp3 today, I'll post it.]


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference there's got to be a morning after:

» Sunday morning ... do you know what time it is? from Darleen's Place
Happy Halloween! Let me get the bi-annual complaint out of the way ... I never truly realize how many electronic time thingies I have around my house until I have to go reset them. Last night was party night;... [Read More]

» #4 Sighting from The American Mind
As a completely non-election aside, check out (I assume) Michele's daughter. The costume isn't scary, but anyone wearing a Brett... [Read More]


But wow, did they crap their pants.

Just reading about the antics at the Catalano horror-house brings a smile to my face.

Good work.

There's a lot I have to put up with as my 53rd birthday approaches. I'm older, fatter, and sometimes that knee that was injured just doesn't want to work the way it used to.

BUT .... my daughter is well past the teen years. And that makes it all worthwhile. [heh]

Sounds like you hosted a great party.

Glad to hear you had fun with the junior twits. :) For real fun, take the girls out camping some time. In bear country. During a New Moon.

You'll need a bigger tent. :D

LOL, Michele,

Sounds like your party was a roaring success.


Happily this was the first Halloween in a very long time we didn't have a party here. I think I'll save for now sharing the story of what happens when you have a house full of 20-somethings and a couple cookie sheets full of jello shots.

Last night the kids went off to parties at other peoples homes and we went to an adults' party ourselves.

It sounds like you almost did the home invasion bit. If you had actually broken the windows, that would have actually brought a bowel moving event right home.

When ours was that age my wife came up with the Teenage Girl Corrilary. Basically, their intelligence and decision making skills decrease exponentially depending on how many of them you have together. The more there are, the dumber they get until they're just a mass of giggling flesh that will attack anything that disturbs them.

Makes me shiver just thinkin' about it.

The only thing missing here is video of them freaking out.

Sorry the teenage girls were such brats, but very glad you got even in such spectacular fashion!

Natalie is such a babe.

I would rather stuff a rabid wolverine in my shorts that deal with a teenage girl. You are very brave, Michele.

Nicely done.