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shorter john dvorak

I hate blogs. I hate bloggers. Bloggers are mostly retarded idiots. Bloggers ruined the internet. We get it, John. We got it a long time ago. You hate blogs. There's really no need for you to go on endlessly writing columns about it, all with the same words shaken, stirred and spit out again in a different order. I'm really sorry your vision of the internet (with you as king, I imagine) didn't pan out. But I do find it quite amusing that you, the internet guru, always forgets about that little X button up in your right hand corner. See, nobody is forcing you to read the blogs that you hate so much, John. In fact, nobody at all is being forced to read them. So for you to conclude that the world wide web will asplode because bloggers are reaching a fever pitch of bitter seething is just so much empty anger. The internet, as you may know, is vast, wide place filled with much more than blogs. I don't know the exact percentage of people who log on to the web each day and read blogs, but I would think that percentage is minuscule when you take into account just how much information is stacked in those ones and zeros you talk about. So no, blogs will not be the downfall of the internet. Your www.sky is not falling. When you say " the public is subjected" to the ranting of us "seriously disturbed or feebleminded" wacko bloggers, you assume that the people reading our drivel don't know how to not read it. Nobody is being subjected to it, just as no one is really being subjected to your whiny, pouty columns. Free will is a great thing, John. Most people use it when surfing the net. Click, click, click, back button, X. See? Easy as turning off the radio when you realize that it sucks. Also, you go on the assumption that most bloggers are anonymous drones, hiding behind false identities. Au contraire, Mr. Dvorak (if that's really your name). Most bloggers are pretty up front about who they are, what they do and where they come from. We're not basement dwelling dweebs trying to play the romantic millionaire in a chatroom for the lovelorn. We stand behind our opinions, not behind masks. Sure, we are intolerant of each other, to a point. So are Red Sox and Yankee fans. So are Crips and Bloods. We all have our battles with each other, but we're not forcing anyone to watch. The rest of the internet - stores, games, mass media, films, comics, search engines, ect. - will all exist and thrive whether or not the blogosphere grows or shrivels up and dies. There will still be porn and chat rooms and MUDs even if the left bloggers and the right bloggers meet in the middle of the internet in some virtual remake of West Side Story and Atrios and Glenn Reynolds lay dead and dripping blood through cyberspace. And you, my friend, will still be writing pissant commentary on it all. How many columns have you gotten out of your hatred of blogs, Dvorak? Don't bite the hand that feeds you the small scraps you cook your whine stew with.
Yea, yea. And how many blog posts have I gotten out of Dvorak's shitty column? I can smell those future comments a mile away.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference shorter john dvorak:

» Dvorak's death-throes from This Blog Is Full Of Crap
(Via ASV) Why look... it's Dvorak being a dick. PC MAGAZINE: The Zeros vs. the Ones Almost everyone on the Net is anonymous. My name is really Lawrence Simons. I just use the name Laurence Simon to throw people off.... [Read More]

» Dvorak gets bitchy...again from Right Thoughts
John Dvorak is a bitch. There's no other way to describe him. Think about the characteristics that make you say "that woman is a bitch." No, I don't mean when you accuse a woman of being a bitch just to offend or hurt her...I mean w... [Read More]

» Now We Dance COTC #15 from Feste...a foolsblog
Welcome to Carnival of the Cats ...turn up your speakers...it's nude cat dancing and singing!! Who could possibly want more? Click here for Kayla's dance - nUDe Boy cAT DanCing? Nevermind, Mol. On to the cats in no particular order...as... [Read More]

» Can I get an AMEN? from Binary Blog | blog.binarywrangler.com
A Small Victory posted this entry, in reference to John C. Dvorak's latest blog-bashing article, part of which (the entry) i have exerpted below... I hate blogs. I hate bloggers. Bloggers are mostly retarded idiots. Bloggers ruined the internet. We... [Read More]

» Virtual Lynch Mobs from RIGHT ON RED >>
ASV points us to this column from PC Magazine by some guy named John Dvorak. He is very worried about bloggers - there are just too many opinions out there! [Read More]

» John Dvorak is a Zero from Tempus Fugit | TxFx.net
John C. Dvorak's recent editorial entitled "The Zeros vs. The Ones" which appeared in PC Magazine delivered a scathing attack on bloggers. I'm not suggesting that because most opinions stink they should be censored in order for us all to think a cer... [Read More]

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If Equity loans is what you are into, then see Online equity loan quotes [Read More]


It's that darn keyboard he invented. It's warped his psyche.

May I fawn over your ability to rant? Please?

This latest offering is possibly the most pathetic of his pathetic screeds, methinks.

Puh-leese. Blogs will destroy the universe? And he thinks Memogate was an eye-roller...

"When you see someone on the street handing out a flyer, it is usually not hard to determine whether he or she is a lunatic. Not so with the haughty blogger who, by hiding behind a good online template, is actually taken seriously."

Uh, yeah, because it's not at all obvious that someone is a whackjob purely from WHAT THEY FREAKING WRITE.

Dvorak really must think the general public is dumber than a tire iron. Apparently, we're all too stupid to understand what we're reading and think critically about it.

Maybe he's right. I mean, even after this ridiculous piece of crap, we all still take Dvorak seriously, right?


Given my massive contempt for his column, I guess that makes us even.

At least with Jerry Pournelle's columns, you can play the "spot the first use of the word 'alas' game". There's nothing nearly as fun about Dvorak's columns.

John Dvorak: the human canker sore.

Dvorak is blind. The anger and strife in this election did not start on the internet; it started with Rather pursuing a political agenda and pretending to be 'objective'. It started with Soros apying for 'Bush=Hilter' ads. It started with the 527s like moveon.org. It started with Al Gore lying about "Bush stole the election".

The anger is working itself out on the internet though. I am glad Dan Rather was tossed by bloggers. I think Dvorak likes Dan Rather and will vote for sKerry. And Dvorak just hated the way the clever bloggers showed up Dan as the alien Queen of the Unicorns.

Does he think there should not be debate? The best debating is on the blogs. Seeing Atrios or Willis responding to the Anti-idiotarian is good to watch. Of course there are always name callers who cannot defend their own name much less thier positions so they call everybody 'stupid' but there is a lot of good discusission if you skip those clowns.

I can shed a small amount of light on one issue:

"which similarly found 10 percent of the 1,691 respondents regularly read Weblogs (see details of that research in the table "Characteristics of Weblog Readers" below). Bearing in mind that those numbers have doubtless grown in the year since those two surveys, that is still 13 to 14 million Weblog readers. Furthermore, I would venture a lot more people are reading Weblogs without realizing those sites are called Weblogs."

I'm off to Google a service that WILL tie me up and Clockwork Orange me to make me read all of the Blogs.I'll keep you all informed.Tata,my droogies!

I don't suppose y'all would be shocked to learn Mr. Dvorak does in fact have a blog.

Wait... is Dvorak really saying that Glenn Reynolds isn't a law professor from Tennessee and he's instead some shady, perverted sex-field adolescent boy trying to pretend to be a woman who is indistinguishable from lunatic pamphleteers?

Kinda makes you wonder what he took a few days off for.

Wait a tic. He's writing opinion...
on the web...
with no facts, just opinion...
in his pajamas, no doubt.


Johhny D. is a blogger. He just gets paid a lot more to do it. But he obviously couldn't afford a decent headshot.

Nice picture, dipweed.

It looks like he just pottied all by hisself and mommy didn't even have to wipe for him.

By the way...

"Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown"

that guy is such a pussy, and there are so many gaping holes in his argument.

1.He hates what he is. The guy is a friggin whiney blogger in a sea of whiney bloggers. Bitch! You right for a friggin E-Mag!

2.Basically, John, if you need to look at someone to see whether or not they're an idiot then you're missing the point. You're basically saying that if I stood behind a mic in my military uniform and told you that there were no invading troops in Iraq that you would believe me, because I looked official. You my friend, are a fucking wanker, and I flick my boogers in your general direction.

This is my "Stab in the Dark" for today, so Imma go out on a ledge and bet my bottom dollar that my main man John is a very religious guy. he probably gets a hard on from being told how to live by someone who looks very dignified in robes and such. Speaking of zombies...

Sorry, I'm not railing against religion, I just enjoy fantasizing about how fucked up some peope are.

I'd bet on Glenn. Atrios probably doesn't own a gun.

Let me be the first to say, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, DONNY!

I'd go down to his office and give him a piece of my mind, except my pajamas are too comfortable, and the judge says if I leave my bedroom I have to be more appropriately dressed.

Good points above, but I do agree with his observation that Internet discussion coarsens political discussion.

Read DU (dKos, Atrios, etc.).

Those people are flat freakin' insane. The blogs give them a place to congregate and reinforce their insanity and hatred. And a place to spew it without having people look strangely at them and begin to edge sloooooly away.

Quick comment to Jenna-- BLOGS coarsen political discussion? Have you ever seen Crossfire, the McLaughlin Group, Hardball, etc etc? They have a much larger audience, and the civility of 6 year olds on crack.

Me thinks JD is too easy an acronym.

Any takers?

Just Dumb.

Jumbo Dickhead.

Jelquing Delinquent.

I could go on... John Dvorak is a sad little man with a sad little column that sadly doesn't have a sad little paycheck.

"the civility of 6 year olds on crack"

Ni-ice. (and accurate!)

In rec.sport.baseball, there are a couple of terms used to describe baseball writers, reporters or columnists (plus any play by play or "color" guys) and the idiotic things that come out of their mouths. Mediocity. Mediots.

John Dvorak is a Mediot.

Most opinions are worthless.

The opinion of the great Dvorak, however, is of immeasurable value!

Speaking of the loss of civility, would he insult bloggers to their faces this way at a party? Perhaps he's coarsened himself just by coming into contact with blogs.

I'm so glad we still have you and your views. You keep writing as you do and I will be sure to come and visit you!

Dvorak is the Troll King of the Internet. See, he got his wish, Michele.

Tony asks, "Have you ever seen Crossfire, the McLaughlin Group, Hardball, etc etc?"


Why would I?

They are crapulous beyond belief. Of course, I can't even stand to watch Hannity & Colmes (can't stomach Colmes), so maybe my sensitivity threshold is a bit low... ;-(

Still, blogs have certainly contributed to the coarsening of political discussion.

"I used to think that everyone was entitled to his opinion, but no longer. Most opinions are worthless."

Since this is an opinion piece, on the internet, doesn't that make him a hypocrite? Or is he just saying that he is worthless?

Uh. Guys. You might wish to remember, before complaining about Dvorak's "hypocrisy" about posting this online, that PC magazine has a print edition. It's not like it's an "e-mag", as someone up there said; it's a real no-shit dead-tree magazine that happens to get duplicated online.

Granted, Dvorak's still a clueless git, but he's been a clueless git for at least a decade. There's no news there. I can't remember the last time I saw his column (rarely, thank God) and didn't think he was thoroughly wrong.

(And while he's wrong about people not being entitled to opinions, he's dead on about most opinions being worthless.

And no, Headzero, one can say most opinions are worthless without implying that your own is. That's the difference between "most opinions" and "all opinions" or just "opinions" in general. Now, his opinion on this probably is worthless, but there's no hypocrisy in the raw statement that most are.)

well, it may be in print, but it's a computer/tech mag only read by the dorks down in IT. Therefore, it doesn't exist in real life, and has been relegated to the real of e-mag. E MAG!

And if that darn Columbus had just stayed home the world would still be flat.

JD is a Luddite.

I guess Dvorak pines for the early days: reasoned Usenet discussion, calm forums like CompuServe's Politics SIG, and mainstream TV talk shows like Joe Pyne's.

He sounds like he'd be happier if AOL (or Beijing) ran the Internet and alternatives were unavailable. Or as the Emperor said to Mozart:

"Too many notes."

I wonder if the John C. Dvorak who commented on my site is real or not. It's probably just another anonymous sex-crazed boy pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman with the lights out.

At least Rall made an effort in coming up with Rob Lacey Deeds/Anonymous Bastard as a pseudonym to post under. I figure that means he must be a real blogger in Dvorak's mind.

I gave up on John Dvorak many years ago, when I read his column in a computer magazine in which he explained why any restaurant which gave customers a choice of salad dressing, and thus didn't know better than their customers, was merely an eatery.

BTW, he didn't invent the Dvorak keyboard. It was, IIRC, his uncle who gets the credit.

I remember some of my professors saying the same thing about the USENET. The debates and flame wars weren't any less vitriolic than they are in the blogosphere today...except today they are more animated and come with cool google ads...;)

I'm still waiting for Richard the Stupid to get his own blog...

Screw Dvorak.
He's still pissed off that the Mothership ignored him when he predicted its demise every year and then brought Jobs and his mighty Reality Distortion Field back on board and haven't looked back. It has driven him totally insane because he dumped his Apple stock back when they were trading around $22 and he needs a new target to throw his Olympian thunderbolts down upon.

Go score any blog-related stock you can find. Dvorak's predictions are gold if you invest opposite whatever that buttmonkey decides is a trainwreck.

"I gave up on John Dvorak many years ago, when I read his column in a computer magazine in which he explained why any restaurant which gave customers a choice of salad dressing, and thus didn't know better than their customers, was merely an eatery."

This is exactly what I'm talking about. The guy likes to be told what to do, he wants/needs a central authority to control information and it's dissemination. what a closet freak.


He's got his own BLOG!!!

Via www.sondrak.com

Self-loathing anyone?

How do we know that dvorak.org/blog/ is the real John C. Dvorak?

I question the timing of this eclipse.

John Dvorak: a wanna-be Media Gatekeeper who can't stand it when the peasants not only storm the gates, but run off with them and leave the frickin' castle wide open.

one quick stop to netsol for a little whois on dvorak.org:

Registrant ID:tuH1EvcthyR9JuDK
Registrant Name:JohnC Dvorak
Registrant Organization:JohnC Dvorak
Registrant Street1:751 Gateview
Registrant Street2:
Registrant Street3:
Registrant City:Albany
Registrant State/Province:CA
Registrant Postal Code:94706
Registrant Country:US
Registrant Phone:+510.5277730
Registrant Phone Ext.:
Registrant FAX:
Registrant FAX Ext.:
Registrant Email:dns@dvorak.org


"I hate blogs. I hate bloggers. Bloggers are mostly retarded idiots. Bloggers ruined the internet."

Nope. Dvorak's wrong. It was just me and my blog. I am the retarded idiot and I ruined the internet.

Hoping I earned at least a smirk, above, on route to a full apology for earlier transgressions. My pushiness pushed back by you, for now, and your castigation on your blog and by email accepted. Doing this for the public record, since balls are also required for accepting legitimate criticism. Oh... just to let you know that your gods of karma didn't blow my computer up (that happened last month--described in a post I won't link to here), but I've had a bitch of a time transitioning from Outlook 2000 to 2003 this week.

Aspiring to contribute more light than heat, here.

p.s. Dvorak's full of it. Blogging to him is like Indian programmers to me... he is in danger of being outsourced by a more accurate techy pundit who draws a fraction of his salary and perks. He knows he doesn't have much talent beyond the boldface gimmick.

It'd be fun to take a decade of his superlatives and fisk them for accuracy versus that of his colleagues and blogs like Boing Boing.

Dvorak's clout is as dead as COMDEX.

If you read his arguements in the article he's basically saying blogs are successful tools for those he opposes (ie whining that blogs aren't fair).

Screw the childish prick and the ZDnet/pcmag horse he rode in on.

"...blogs have certainly contributed to the coarsening of political discussion."

No, they've just made coarse discussions more visible.

"...reasoned Usenet discussion, calm forums like CompuServe's Politics SIG, and mainstream TV talk shows like Joe Pyne's."

LOL. And carefully crafted arguments like, "Hey, Hey, L-B-J, How Many Kids Did You Kill Today?"

Spot-on rant, Michele. Loved the West Side Story allusion, especially (now there's a thread topic; casting WSS with bloggers. I nominate you for Anita. And I shall now duck vigorously for suggesting it...).

- Doug

Dvorak literally ran into me at the 1995 Winter Consumer Electronics Show (he wasn't looking where he was going). I won't say that's why I think he sucks, because his writing is a much better reason, but it's a contributing factor.

Ian, I ran into Phil Katz, creator of the PKZIP compression program at COMDEX in 1994. At least Phil gave us something of lasting value, may he rest in peace. Does anyone use ANYTHING by Dvorak, or is he just like movie reviewers who make judgements but have no talent or experience?

Wow! (00)

"I used to think that everyone was entitled to his opinion, but no longer. Most opinions are worthless." - Dvorak

That's the first time in years I've seen anything in a Dvorak column I agreed with. ;]

Exactly where did you find those female sex fiends on the Net?????