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Googlian Overlords

I, for one, welcome our new Google overlords. googlian.jpgI will not be one of the millions downloading the new Google desktop search program. One day, maybe not too far off into the future, it will come to be known that the masters behind Google are actually aliens who have been using the search engine and all of its shadowy programs to learn about the Earth and its inhabitants. And then we're screwed. Gmail was about as far as I'll go. Even now, I get creeped out by the ads that match the content of my email. I'm waiting for a message from the Google CEO to land in my inbox: "I know what you did last September!" And then I'll have to confess. Mark my words. First they come for your search requests. Then they come for your email. Then they come for the innards of your computer. How long before they come for you? Laugh it up, fuzzball. Some day you'll acknowledge I was right. But then, it will be too late. The Google overlords will be forcing us into slave labor building pyramids and digging moats for Alien Supreme Eric Schmidt. I wonder if he owns a copy of To Serve Man?

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Hilarious commentary on Google's desktop search... I personally am obsessed with the personalized ads in my Gmail box that match the content of my email conversations. It's an amazing marketing technique and just floors me everytime... or is an amazing... [Read More]

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Comments

Don't blame me.

I voted for Kodos.

Well, you can be Google's bitch, or Yahoo's bitch, or Bill Gates' bitch, or Steve Jobs' bitch. I try to spread it around so that I'm covered whoever wins this round. However you play it, you're bound to end up some script kiddie's bitch before it's over with. So just keep the incriminating stuff on CD, under lock and key, to be safe. That way you can "accidentally" release your porn movie on your own schedule, when your publicist decides it's go time.

IT'S A COOKBOOK!

I'm with you on this.

Until electronic trespass (adware and worse) is properly classified as a felony and script kiddies are as afraid of hacking as they would be of experimenting with TNT in their attached home garage, the situation will get worse.

Requisite Yankee message:

I confess... I'm voting ABB this year: Anyone But Boston.

But I'm only still rooting for the Yanks to beat the Sox. And I hope that A-Rod and Matsui go oh-fer for the rest of their expensive contracts. Hard not to love Jeter, Posada, Torre and Williams. Torre deserves his own heroic MUG wing in the HOF for Managing Under George.

The world needs to see a Torre - La Russa managerial battle. I've predicted all the playoffs right so far and am in good shape to have picked the WS teams.

I didn't expect the Sox to choke quite this quickly, though.

Go NL!

Put on those sunglasses I sent you, Michele, you'll see the truth! "I've come to kick ass and do a Googlebomb, and I'm all out of Googlebomb."

Seriously though, Google's my hero. I know someday they'll probably turn evil, but right now they're a force for good. Look at what they did to yahoo and hotmail.

Thanks to Michele and Susan for remembering that reference. I think I have a copy of that around here somewhere...

When is GHamper going to be released anyway? I've been missing one navy blue sock for six months now, and a laundry-room search tool would do wonders. ;)

BoSox borada nikto!

- Doug

Oh, come on, Michele, we all know what you did last summer.

Well, you can be Google's bitch, or Yahoo's bitch, or Bill Gates' bitch, or Steve Jobs' bitch.

Repeat after me: I'm my own bitch.

(Hmm. It was funnier in my head. It was freakin' hilarious in my head. Oh well. I'll just assume that's because it's the world that's insane, not me.)

Laugh if you want, but aliens (although in this case evil humans trying to take over a planet full of intelligent arachnids) using, among other things, a software company as an instrument of world domination has already been done in science fiction, in Vernor Vinge's A Deepness in the Sky.

Which is a much better book than that description would suggest.

I like those "targeted" ads; like when I'm checking out DJ/remix sites and see a slew of Google ads for vinyl...vinyl siding, vinyl flooring, etc. Eerie how Google knows of my love for 12-inch records and ethylene-derived house cladding.

P.S. If you know of a better way to exchange long protein strands, I'd like to hear it.

Maybe the best Twilight Zone episode ever.

Maybe the best Twilight Zone episode ever.

When it comes to omnipotent Hal-like machines, I fear On Star, the auto safety and tracking device that knows all.

When your air bag deploys, On Star central Knows.

When your car is missing, On Star central can track it.

When you crash, On Star immediately provides "crash information" [excuse me Dave, you appear to be flying through the windshield..]

I'd get the Google search, but On Star is right out.

You guys spend way to much time in fromt of computors. GO out seet the sky/clouds (for the British) /smog (fot Calefornians) and smell the debris/roses/coffee/oilfumes.
Goolgle will sms you when you had enough fresh air.

Google Bill O'reily today. See what kind of hits you get.

I am right there with you on the Google Takeover of the Entire Universe.

I have a Gmail account but I don't use it. Google used to be really cool, now they're starting to move really close to the creeper line. I no longer trust them (especially since they are public now) and won't be installing the Desktop (not that I could anyway since they don't make it for Macs.......yet!).

Bleh, I'm tired of corporations trying to solve my problems for me. I've got a find function on my system, it works just fine.

Looks like Michele is one step ahead of the Googlian overlords - but hey - it's a feature.

http://yro.slashdot.org/yro/04/10/15/1840215.shtml?tid=217&tid=158

Posted by michael on Friday October 15, @06:00PM
from the multi-talented dept.
dioscaido writes "Users of the Google Desktop Search software beware -- it indexes your files across all users on your PC, bypassing user protections. The Google cache feature allows all users to browse the contents of messages and files it has indexed, irrespective of who is logged in. 'This is not a bug, rather a feature,' says Marissa Mayer, Google's director of consumer Web products. 'Google Desktop Search is not intended to be used on computers that are shared with more than one person.'" Reminds me of a Neal Stephenson essay: "The Hole Hawg is dangerous because it does exactly what you tell it to. It is not bound by the physical limitations that are inherent in a cheap drill, and neither is it limited by safety interlocks that might be built into a homeowner's product by a liability-conscious manufacturer. The danger lies not in the machine itself but in the user's failure to envision the full consequences of the instructions he gives to it."

I loved Neal Stephenson's essay on the Hole Hawg, but I have had hole drilling tasks for which a Dremel tool in their drillpress fixture was not subtle enough, and others which strained a radial drill so big we had to borrow a stronger forklift to install.