I would like to take this time to thank a few folks for their words of concern and/or love over the past few days, whether they came by email, in comments on other sites or through use of The Force.
To all: So, you think I've gotten "cranky" or "emotional" in the past few weeks. You think that I could use medication/a hot bath/a cup of lemon honey tea/a vacation/raunchy sex/a stiff drink/a time-out/my mouth washed out with soap/therapy/shock treament/a lobotomy/a spanking/a wake up call/barbituates. And a few of you think that I've become a brazen hussy by talking about (ohmygod, she's going to say the S word!) sex. Seriously, people. Go through the archives. I've been tame
in the past year or so. Take off your chastity belt and live a little.
I do, however, appreciate the tone of love in your emails. If only they made a Hallmark card for such occassions.
Outside: (picture of a dancing banana) In times like these....
Inside: ...Roses are red
Violets are blue
You're a complete stranger
But I'm concerned about you!
Outside: (painting of rabbits cavorting through a windswept field)
Inside: I know that life is tough
in this election year
Perhaps instead of blogging
You can drown yourself in beer
You seem a little cranky
and holier than thou
Why not save some time
and kill yourself right now?
I know that I don't know you
So this may seem out of place
But maybe you should drop out
Of the human race
(And I say this as a fellow
member of the right
But you disagree with me on one issue
So you must be a complete idiot who deserves to die and/or be locked up in a mental ward forever and ever!
Sort of lost the rhythm on that one, but you get the point.
So, to all of you who sent me those lovely messages of hope and love, I have this one for you:
Roses are red
violets are blue
Although, they can really be considered purple
If viewed in a certain light
And roses, well
they aren't always red, are they?
Such a general statement
about such a complex flower
seems kind of silly.
Anyhow. While I ready my morning post (you thought this was it? Nope.), you should know that I'll be guest blogging over at Goldstein's place this week
, where I'll probably hijack one of his recurring themes and make it my own, while taking the time to make fun of each of the members of the powerful cabal of bloggers he bribed to blog for him while he's presumably visiting relatives in Baltimore. Like we buy that. And I'm still waiting for my ten dollars, Jeff. I did
hold up my end of the bargain. You were too drunk to notice.
Let me explain something: This has been the week from hell (and that has nothing to do with blogging or the election - it's just been a long week that is only going to get longer before it ends) and I still have two days left before I can get a moment's peace. I have run out of patience with people who think they own me. I have run out of patience with my daughter and her mouth. I have run out of patience with my son and his disastrous schoolwork ethics. I have run out of patience with idiot drivers, with demanding people, with parents who never, ever offer to carpool but expect me to drive their kids everywhere and home again, with noisy, selfish neighbors, with people who want to take, take, take but balk at giving even a little smidgen, with people who expect you to hold up both ends of a friendship......Frankly, I'm at a point today where I'm either going to break down in tears or kill someone with my bare hands. And I'm not even PMS.
I am In. A. Mood. Do not test me today. I have sharpened my machete. Conversely, I have a box of tissues ready.