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George Lucas Almost Ate My Soul (in which I fend off the power of the dark side with the help of Green Day)

I dropped DJ off at baseball practice yesterday afternoon. I had 90 minutes before he had to be picked up again. I knew what I wanted to do with at least part of those 90 minutes but my conscience was smacking me around.

I sat in the idling car in front of the baseball field for a good twenty minutes contemplating what I was about to do. Or not do.

Green Day was live on K-Rock. They were playing their own set of chosen songs. Surrender by Cheap Trick came on and I sang.

Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away....

Every momentous occasion has a song that plays in the background, lyrics speaking only to you. But Cheap Trick was sending me contradicting messages. How could I both surrender to the demon sitting on my shoulder, egging me on, yet not give myself away? To actually do what I was contemplating would be giving away my very soul to the dark side.

To make matters worse, I had my daughter in the car with me. I would be dragging her into this as well and while she could never understand the meaning of all this - coming from an entirely different viewpoint on this than I - I nonetheless asked her opinion. If I was taking her along for the ride, she had a right to an opinion on the matter.

I slowly explained to her - using fact, figures, historical data and quotes - what the situation was. She nodded in all the right places, threw in a few well-placed mmhmms and, when I was done, said:

"Mom, you are out of your freaking mind. Who the hell spends this much time agonizing over buying a DVD?"

She had no clue. None at all.

By this time I had wasted nearly half of the 90 minutes and Green Day was now playing The Who's The Kids are Alright. Maybe that meant Natalie was right? Was I out of my mind? Probably.

It was too late to go all the way to Best Buy. Perhaps my decision was made for me. Then Natalie said that she needed some things for school. Reverse decision! Wal-Mart, here we come! I would have just enough time to drive to Wal-Mart, send Natalie down the school supply aisle and sprint to the DVD section. If I did this all in a rush, I wouldn't have time to contemplate the ramifications of what I was doing.

I met up with Darth Vader at the front of aisle three. An omen, of course. He stared at me (as much as cardboard can stare) menacingly, just daring me to reach out and touch his display. Who can resist the force? Not I.

My hands trembled as they seemingly floated on their own will towards the silver-hued box. A device on the box blinked red. Buy. Me. Buy. Me. Buy. Me. My hands trembled in mid air. I could have sworn the cardboard Vader said "I find your lack of faith disturbing." I grabbed it before the angel on my shoulder could find the words to stop me.

I cradled the DVD in my arms and met up with Natalie near the checkout. She eyed me suspiciously when she saw I was holding the movie. What will Justin say? she whispered.

I put my things on the checkout belt. The belt whirred into action and carried the box towards the cashier. She was just about to pick it up to scan it when I grabbed it out of her hands. It all played out in slow motion and my cry of "NO!" reverberated throughout the store in a long, slow drawl. Nooooooooooooo! The cashier stared hard at me.

"I don't want to buy this." I said defiantly. I turned my head towards aisle three to stare down Vader, but I was afraid of being turned into a pillar of salt so I averted my eyes.

We left the store with just some loose leaf reinforcements and a bottle of White-Out. Oh, and with my dignity intact, of course. After we picked up DJ and recounted the whole story for him, Green Day - still spinning records on K-Rock - played Slayer's Raining Blood. It felt right for some reason.

When I pulled up in front of the house, Justin was waiting outside.

"I felt a great disturbance in the force about twenty minutes ago." He was glaring hard at me. "Please tell me you didn't."

I showed him the bag with the two lonely items in it. He put his arm around me and stared into my eyes.

I love you, he said.
I know.

Also: The Trial of George Lucas.

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Listed below are links to weblogs that reference George Lucas Almost Ate My Soul (in which I fend off the power of the dark side with the help of Green Day):

» A tough choice was faced ... from Sheila A-Stray's Redheaded Ramblings
... and with the help of Cheap Trick, Michele surrendered.... [Read More]

» A tough choice was faced ... from Sheila A-Stray's Redheaded Ramblings
... and with the help of Cheap Trick, Michele surrendered.... [Read More]

» Wiping The Tears From My Eyes from Absinthe & Cookies (a little bit bitter, a little bit sweet)
If you follow but one link today, make it this one: George Lucas Almost Ate My Soul.... [Read More]

» All Lucas Bashing, All the Time from Leaning Towards the Dark Side
Scott points to this hilarious comic, where Lucas has replaced Mark Hamill with a CGI cat. The lure of the Dark Side is strong, as Michele can tell us. By resisting the temptation, she not only saved her marriage but... [Read More]

» verything I Need to Know I Learned From Star Wars from Sekimori.org - Live Blog
Despite my protestations, we bought it. Why, you ask? Well, primarily because my seven year old son is sitting in there right now (school being out for the week due to the *^#^%@ hurricane) watching Empire Strikes Back and enjoying... [Read More]

Comments

I bought our copy yesterday morning at Wal-Mart. It was a great price! We still have the originals on VHS and hopefully we can burn them to DVD's in the near future! :)

Hey, it's a pity they never put those great old sci-fi movies on DVD...you know that trilogy with the farm kid who becomes a great warrior, the scoundrel-with-a-heart-of-gold smuggler, princess in danger, cool robots, evilest bad guy ever, etc. etc. That sure would have been cool on DVD. Yep.

Green Day has Jedi mind powers? That's unfortunate, given that their new album is essentially "Incoherent Rock Against Bush" ;)

The emperor is most displeased with you.

That is hilarious! This scene has played out in my head over and over, and with a WalMart within walking distance of my house I don't know if I can resist the power of the Dark Side much longer...

I almost rented it,butthanks to you and this

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2374

I fended off the dark side,too.

I meant "But thanks",bu Butt Hanks.

I'm picturing you standing over the body of Darth Lucas, saying "I'll never turn to the Dark Side. I am a Jedi,
like my father before me."

This is a dangerous time for you, when you will be tempted by the Dark Side of the Force. I don't want to lose you to the Emperor the way I lost Stephen Green. If you choose the quick and easy path, you will become an agent of evil. Don't give in!

Awwww, what a touching love story. Were you wearing sticky buns in your hair?

Best...post...ever! --s

Courage

Something terrible has happened...

;)

20 something years ago...I would be right there with you, but four things will make me fall to the dark side.

One, these are the final versions that George Lucas WANTED to make. Two, Mark Hamill has already told fans to maybe lighten up and the thought of an elderly Mark Hamill snickering at me like William Shatner's SNL appearance just isn't tolerable. Three, I can lay on my floor and look up at my TV and watch the opening scene in surround sound any time I want.

And Four, I have an eight year old and he will not be denied. He doesn't understand the magic of seeing the originals the first time...when the music STARTED and startled us, when the intro crawled up the screen, when the rebel starship appeared and then the screen FILLED with the Empire's Ship carrying Darth Vader. He doesn't know or care about Greedo being blasted into a smoldering pile. He simply wants to be able to watch them...in digital remastered perfection, in THX Surround Sound, light sabers flashing and humming, and for him, the best part...watching the rebels break things and blow shit up.

Mark Hamill complained about coming out of the trash compactor with perfect hair after wrestling around in the muck with the eyeball on the end of a tentacle creature. Harrison Ford's response? "Kid, it just ain't that kind of movie."

The force is strong in this one. But the dark side will triumph.

Bwahahahahahaha.

I left work early yesterday, intent on buying a new lock for my bike. The plan was simple, if I could ride from Jamaica to Valley Stream (where there's a decent bike shop) and then all the way back home without much trouble, I might consider heading toward the store to pick this thing up. Instead, I went home and cleaned out my bearded dragon's tank. I was proud of myself. I absolutely refuse to spend money on this monstrosity - I will not give in to this I promised myself.

A few weeks ago, my brother gave me the reviewers copy of Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars on DVD (yes, the mini-series that was brought to life after the show's cancellation by the most successful fan campaign ever). When he gave it to me, I noticed that he already had the SW box set sitting on his entertainment center (he got it a week before from someone at his job at MTV). I recalled how Vader stared me down, but nothing could take away the feeling of getting to watch Farscape again.

I was thinking about his copy when he calls me up last night and asks me Did you buy it yet?" Of course he knew I would know what he was talking about. "No...", but before I could finish "Want it?". He snagged another copy from work and wanted to know if I wanted it before he sold it of on eBay. "Yeah, sure" "OK, watch the kids this weekend" (that obvious ploy that he used on me with the Farscape DVD - of course it works. It never fails!)

So I get the SW DVDs, I don't have to spend a dime, and I don't have to worry about breaking any promises!

Lord, that was funny! My first laugh of the day.

My boss and I had a similar conversation yesterday about to buy or not to buy and I reminded him I do have the originals on laser disc. We squared our shoulders and went back to work.

I'm not afraid!

Check out the cartoon at The Black Republican, ties into this thread.

best. post. ever.

best. post. ever.

best. post. ever.

so good, I had to say it 3 times! ;)

Ok, I'll admit to being a Philistine and a traitor to my generation, but can someone explain to me what this is all about? Why should it be an issue whether or not you buy the DVDs? What's at stake? Why is this a question? Why does Justin care?

I succumbed to the dark side...

So far I went through the documentary and all the trailiers & teasers(which are hilariously dated) and A New Hope.

Tonite is Empire before the poker game.

What about that video game that came out yesterday? "Star Wars Battlegrounds" or something like that?

DSmith. George Lucas changed the originals. He addes some CGI to scenes where there was none before. He toned down some of the violent scenes, and added scenes that weren't in the orignals.

For those of our generation, who realistically spent at least 10 sittings in a movie theater the first summer the first movie was released...this is heresy. Because it was so cool...the sound was SO good...you have to remember when it came out the special effects were state of the art. Some movie theaters went so far as to install sub audio sub-woofers in the theaters where they didn't have them before, simply to make Darth Vader even scarier.

Other folks...and I know you're out there...are so freaking pissed off at the way Episodes I and II have been put together and how the mythology of The Force has been corrupted by these Miti-Midi-Chorian...things, that they simply refuse to give George Lucas any more money.

I'm sure other folks will have other reasons...these are just some of the ones that I've seen.

The Force is strong in you. I hope that I will not succumb to the temptation.

My wife is 5 years my junior and she just doesn't understand why I get so worked up over the whole issue. And there's just no way to explain it to her. My only hope is that George Lucas will relent sometime before my toddler son is old enough to watch the original trilogy. I would hate to think that his first exposure will be the abomination Lucas has foisted onto the public.

Aside from the obvious, it's the fact that Lucas just does not give a shit about the people who put him where he is by spending tons of hard earned money on his movies and marketing empire.

To Lucas, the fans don't matter.

The hubby isn't quite the purest, but owns everything SW-related if for no other reason than to prove to the neighbors that his home theater system is SUPERIOR to theirs. Nothing shows the power of a superior sub-woofer than any SW soundtrack, according to him...

But....what happens if somehow you end up with a copy courtesy of Santa???

Hey, if someone else buys it for me, it's all good. That's why it's on my wishlist, which I send out to family members when they ask what I want for Christmas. Better Santa's (or mom's) money than mine.

I just keep muttering, "Han Solo shot first... Han Solo shot first..."

Why the hell can't I turn my everday experiences into art???

We all love you, Michele.

Now, first I have to say...I love Star Wars like everyone else. IV, V & VI came out in my hay-day...I'm 32.

But, come on!! It's a fictional movie. His entire purpose in the beginning was to make a movie. How many of you have made revisions to rooms in your house, only to go back and correct something that was right the first time? Do any of you have your original computer or have you upgraded to newer technology?

I like to go back and fix my mistakes...how about you?

oops...supposed to be:

"...in the beginning was to make money..."

see, I even needed to come back and fix my post.

give in.........resistance really is futile. It's still Star Wars on DVD!! I still love it even with changes the heart of it remains. I can't be bothered to be bogged down in the little details the changes don't make it any less special.

If anybody is still reading this post...

There was a good interview with George Lucas in Entertainment Weekly.