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Avast Ye Scalliwags, Thar Blows Dan Rather!

Aargh, it's talk like a pirate day, matey. arrrdan.jpgThat bilge rat Dan Rather (pirate name: Saggin' Jowls Bart), arrr he keeps lookin' fer the buried treasure, but aye, there's none ta be had for him. Methinks he should strart drinkin' the grog. Lots of it. I bet ya didn't know that pirates read. Aye, matey, read we do. And this pirate be lookin' at the Washington Post. The headline says "Rather Steered Into the Storm, But Won't Go Down With the Ship!" Har, har, no it doesn't. But it may as well. If any pirate acted like that landlubber Rather, he'd a be walkin' the gangplank by now. Speakin' of scalliwags, that Bill Burkett (pirate name: Cap'n Bradford Seaturd) fella be a-plunderin' the chances of the DNC stayin' out a this. I bet ya mateys that Terry McAuliffe (pirate name: Pirate Bradford the Parrotless)wants to throw Burkett in the brig right now. Aarrr! What a fine mess, and he seems ta be dragging ol' peg leg (pirate name: Iron Deficient Hank) into it, too. Now, the fella I consider my first mate (pirate name: Sea Monkey Jude), well he's just about had enough of this. He says "Bilge! Those Memos are Poxed and Ye Better Come Clean 'Bout it!" Aye, but that bilge-sucking Rather just keeps on shoutin't ta his own crew, NO QUARTER! And me wonders if the wench (pirate name: Eye-Gougin' Bella Bonny) on board that sinkin' ship will ever be keelhauled fer her part in it all. As fer the true owners of the S.S. Memo, they're roundin' up the suspects and makin' 'em walk the gangplank, alright. Arrr, but they be the wrong suspects. This pirate assumes that tryin' to place the black spot on your the Commander in Chief is alright, but ta say somethin' bad 'bout Saggin' Jowls Bart will turn ya into shark bait if ya don't belay. The ol' mutinous sea dog is still clingin' ta the mast, like he don't know the ship is about to sink into the briny deep. The poor man, he be addled. But I jus' be wonderin' who's goin' ta be left marooned. I'm wagerin' my booty that it ain't Captain Rather. Mutiny begins at home, mateys! Arrr, but it matter not. In the end, it be Evil Pirate Genius Karl Rove (pirate name: Cap'n Edmund Firecrotch) and his magic conspiracy generator behind the whole treasure chest of memos. [Tip of the rum to me matey Fineglin' Pablo Bellamy for some links. Link for pirate names here. More pirate links here.] Gratuitous wench picture of me here.

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Comments

Well shiver me timbers matey, I do believe I spy a life ring for that scurvy dog Saggin' Jowls Bart. Set sail now and ole Bart just may be able to drop anchor in Iraqi Bay and partake the remnants of Saddams 19 bottles of rum, ho ho.

BTW matey's your all ten days late for my Birthday.

Now, 'scuse me while I eats me spinach.

Arrgh, I be wondering if that scaliwag "Captain Thurstan 'Me and me pal have nice hair' Kerry" had a hook in these shenanigans. Thanks be to you Michelle (pirate name?) for a fine piece of treasure digging.

Capt. Fluffy Teach

Ye be as fine a wench as ever there was,me beauty,and yer battles with the scurvy dogs and bilge rats of this here "Blog-o-sea" is a site to behold to this salty-dog's eye.Keep a keel-haulin' the bung-holed chum slimes !Where do ye keep the rum around here?ARRRRGH!ME thirst knows no bounds!

Arrr, Michele me matey, ye made me spit me mornin' tea and rum toddy all over the bloody monitor! Arrr!

Thiefin' Jackie Bellamy

This bit from Mrs. Parsley Boy

Blogosphere: Cap'n Dan, what about the Rules of Journalism?

Cap'n Dan: They're really just more of a ... guideline....

Arrrrrh! I want to download me some Metallica em-pee-trees! Avast!

Grawk! Pieces of nine! Pieces of nine!

Pablo the Parrot

Gads, these scurvey-ridden vermin doth tax the constitution, but mightily! Chain the wicked lot up in the lower hold, and have at their backs with the lash!

Michele the wenchblogger...Totally wenched out...The Wenchinator, serving up a big plate of wencharoni on Talk Like A Pirate Day...

Oops, almost forgot--Arrrh!

Me thinks CBS got to that thar Washington Post....arrg...the article be gone their mateys.

The scurvy dog Nobeard Rather should be dragged before a Cap'n's mast and brought up on charges, aye! His treasure map is a fake, and he's due a keelhaulin, that's for certain mates! It's the black spot for him, I says!

Did you say you were wagering your booty?

Arrrrrrrr!!

Arrrrrh! A mighty fine and talented wench ya be, Lassie!

Capt Laddy

Ayyyye! And a fine keelhaulin you've given the scurrrrvy scumbucket. Almost a shame he hoisted himself on his own petard.

'Tis nice to have the she-devil o gotham roamin the seven seas again! Raise your black flag and fire as yer guns bear!

Fair winds and following seas!

Alas, me pirrrate-speak has bin in ruther poo-uhr form since uh quit readin’ the Tintin books, An’ in fakt uh fearr this sounds more Irish then pirrrrate.

Aye, matey, ’tis true. But fur real pirrrate-speak, I defer to my Arizona mate, whose “Arrrrgh” puts enna one ta shame. That it does.