Aargh, it's talk like a pirate day
That bilge rat Dan Rather (pirate name
: Saggin' Jowls Bart), arrr he keeps lookin' fer the buried treasure, but aye, there's none ta be had for him. Methinks he should strart drinkin' the grog. Lots of it.
I bet ya didn't know that pirates read. Aye, matey, read we do. And this pirate be lookin' at the Washington Post
. The headline says "Rather Steered Into the Storm, But Won't Go Down With the Ship!" Har, har, no it doesn't. But it may as well. If any pirate acted like that landlubber Rather, he'd a be walkin' the gangplank by now.
Speakin' of scalliwags, that Bill Burkett (pirate name: Cap'n Bradford Seaturd) fella be a-plunderin' the chances of the DNC stayin' out a this. I bet ya mateys that Terry McAuliffe (pirate name: Pirate Bradford the Parrotless)wants to throw Burkett in the brig right now. Aarrr! What a fine mess, and he seems ta be dragging ol' peg leg (pirate name: Iron Deficient Hank) into it, too.
Now, the fella I consider my first mate (pirate name: Sea Monkey Jude), well he's just about had enough of this. He says "Bilge! Those Memos are Poxed and Ye Better Come Clean 'Bout it!
Aye, but that bilge-sucking Rather just keeps on shoutin't ta his own crew, NO QUARTER
! And me wonders if the wench (pirate name: Eye-Gougin' Bella Bonny) on board that sinkin' ship will ever be keelhauled fer her part in it all.
As fer the true owners of the S.S. Memo, they're roundin' up the suspects and makin' 'em walk the gangplank, alright. Arrr, but they be the wrong suspects.
This pirate assumes that tryin' to place the black spot on your the Commander in Chief is alright, but ta say somethin' bad 'bout Saggin' Jowls Bart will turn ya into shark bait if ya don't belay.
The ol' mutinous sea dog is still clingin' ta the mast
, like he don't know the ship is about to sink into the briny deep. The poor man, he be addled. But I jus' be wonderin' who's goin' ta be left marooned. I'm wagerin' my booty that it ain't Captain Rather. Mutiny begins at home, mateys!
Arrr, but it matter not. In the end, it be Evil Pirate Genius Karl Rove
(pirate name: Cap'n Edmund Firecrotch) and his magic conspiracy generator behind the whole treasure chest of memos.
[Tip of the rum to me matey Fineglin' Pablo Bellamy
for some links. Link for pirate names here
. More pirate links here
Gratuitous wench picture of me here.