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Friday Morning Fluff (Updated)

It's Friday and I generally try to stay non-confrontational on Fridays. I even go so far as to not listen to talk radio on my way into work on Fridays, so I don't get any bright ideas for a raving post (though today I've chosen to take my Henry Rollins spoken word CDs with me, so who knows what may come of that). Doesn't mean I won't do any politics posting today, but it means I'll give it a try by starting the day off right. Today's Fluff: This is the End of Music. The idea behind the idea is this: bq. I'm fascinated by the idea of, say, your favourite band writing something that you can't stand. I've often asked people: What's your least favourite track by your favourite band? It's a difficult question, because often we're reluctant to admit that our favourite bands have written bad songs. We program ourselves to take sides: we'll often convince ourselves that a good song by a band we don't generally like is worse than a bad song by a band we normally love.
Which led to this great idea, which a compulsive list maker/music collecter like myself could not resist: bq. imagine you're compiling a CD for a friend of songs or musical pieces in your own record collection that you hate the most. Stuff that's pointless, irritating, unlistenable, painfully bland, clichÚd, whatever. Tracks that you would normally be pretty quick to skip if you had the CD on. Write down the full track-list (let's say around 15 songs, or 75 minutes worth of music) and submit it to us. We'll put the lists online for other people to laugh at and criticise. Who knows, someone might request an actual CD from you. I'm not that rabid about my favorite bands that I can't admit they made a few crappy songs. Yes, even Faith No More, whose worst song starts off my list. Note the criteria on the given link. These are not songs I hate just for the reason that they are bad songs; we could list those forever. These are songs by bands I truly love with a slavish devotion. Yes, even the best bands make skippable songs. * Faith No More - The Perfect Crime (Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey Soundtrack) * Fear Factory - Remake of Gary Numan's Cars (Obsolete Collecter's Edition) * Incubus - Miss You (Make Yourself)* * Sublime - Date Rape (40 oz. to Freedom) * Foo Fighters - My Hero (The Colour and the Shape) * Nick Cave - Carny (Your Funeral, My Trial) * Rob Zombie - Living Dead Girl (Hellbilly Deluxe) * Nine Inch Nails - Closer (The Downward Spiral) * Type O Negative - Everyone I Love is Dead (World Coming Down) * Danzig - You and Me (Less Than Zero Soundtrack)* * Tool - Ănema ( Ănema) * I haven't calculated, but I'm sure Tool and Type O have clocked this CD in at maximum time. Besides, I'm late for work. Which, of course, is your fault as I'm doing this to entertain you. Maybe. Anyhow, I think I'll make a second CD later, or calculate this one and add on a few songs if I can. If you join in and make your own list (and post it here) don't forget to send it in to The End of Music, also. Update: I'll add more as I think of them, which means I'll end up with more than one CD. * Led Zeppelin - Fool in the Rain (see, also: Hot Dog) * Incubus really lost me with this album, anyhow. I tolerated the rest of it (being very disappointed in this followup to S.C.I.E.N.C.E), but Miss You is really dreck. * Ok, I have to admit there are times I really like listening to this song. But mosty, it's an exercise in Danzig masturbating with his voice. * Like most Tool songs, Ănema is really self-indulgent. Unlike most Tool songs, it's self-indulgent in a way that makes me want to tell Maynard to shut the hell up.

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Ii'll admit them, but I'll only admit them once.

Sublime - Pawn Shop. (Sublime)
Led Zeppelin - Going to California (IV)
Outkast - Love Hater (The love Below)
Tom Petty - The Apartment Song (Full Moon Filler)
Less Than Jake - Lockdown (Losing Streak)
Rage Against the Machine - Freedom (Rage Against the Machine)
Nas - I Can (Godson)
O.A.R. - Get Away (Any Time Now)
Guns 'n' Roses - My World (Use Your Illusion II)
Pennywise - No Way Out (About Time)
Beastie Boys - Dr. Lee PhD (Hello Nasty)
Cake - Where Would I Be? (Prolonging the Magic)

That was harder than I thought. I have a headache now, and I can't go on any further.

I thought about including Freedom as well.

As a card-carrying Republican, I'm not supposed like RATM, but I do.

Three of the songs on your list are on my playlist, but I actually like them.

Sublime - Date Rape
Foo Fighters - My Hero (always reminds me of Wayne Gretzky's retirement)
Nine Inch Nails - Closer (My favorite NIN song)

Here's some song I'll nominate.
Led Zeppelin - D'yer Maker (Led Zeppelin V. WTF? lyics are "Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Oh..." Corny rhythm)
Metallica - The unforgiven (Black Album)
Gun-N-Roses - November Rain (Use your illusion)

Tony Carey/Planet P,"Good Little Soldiers" (Go Out Dancing part 1, 1931)
Billy Squire, "Nobody Knows" (Don't Say No)
Aimee Mann, "It Takes All Kinds" (Bachelor No. 2)
Annie Lennox, "A Whiter Shade of Pale" (Medusa)
The Beatles, "Mr. Moonlight" (Beatles for Sale)
Jeff Lynne, "Stormy Weather" (Armchair Theatre)
John Lennon, "Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)" (Double Fantasy)
Ozzy Osbourne, "Zombie Stomp" (No More Tears)
Peter Gabriel, "We Do What We're Told (Milgram's 37)" (So)
Sting, "I'm So Happy I Can't Stop Crying" (Mercury Falling)
Sting, "All For Love" (The Three Musketeers - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)
Thomas Dolby, "Cruel" (Astronauts and Heretics)
U2, Any track from this album, but especially "She Wore Lemon" (Zooropa)
Van Halen, Any track from this album, period (Balance)

Okay, the Tony Carey song at the top isn't exactly horrible. But I skip it almost immediately every time. It's just not to my tastes.

I forced myself to listen to Zooropa twice, just to be sure that I hated it. Yep, hated it. But especially "She Wore Lemon". Glad I never bought it.

I had a few of those entire albums that I thought were horrible. But I wanted to stick to the bands I really thought were awesome, but they just had that ONE song that made me grimace. This was a great little excercise. I actually had a headache after writing my list from hearing all those crappy songs in my head.

Faith No More - Das Schutzenfest
Many Many Artists - Random Countryish Song Included Close to End of Decidedly Non-Country CD
The Sundays - Life and Soul

Jesus, I gotta stop there 'cause I hit preview and saw Keith's citation of Gabriel's We Do What We're Told. It triggered a reflex deep in my limbic brain, and my arm started spasming in an effort to reach for a fast forward button (it was the 80s, natch).

Oh this list would be endless. But here are a few:

Lez Zep: Stairway to Heaven
Queen: Under Pressure
Iron Maiden Anything with Blaze Baily
Motley Crue: Generation Swine
Whitesnake: Here I Go Again (radio edit)

Oh this list would be endless. But here are a few:

Lez Zep: Stairway to Heaven
Queen: Under Pressure
Iron Maiden Anything with Blaze Baily
Motley Crue: Generation Swine
Whitesnake: Here I Go Again (radio edit)

How about name your favourite bands worst albums?

Iron Maiden: X Factor
Metallica: Reload
Van Halen: Balance
Motley Crue: Generation Swine
Ozzy Ozbourne: Ozzmosis
Bruce Dickinson: Skunkworks

There'd be an awful lot of Yoko Ono-infected John Lennon with alcohol-and-drug-free Warren Zevon on it.

I loved the first two Garbage albums, but hated the third one "beautiful garbage." It was way too pop. Sounded more like Xtina or the Spice Girls than Garbage.

As far as Tool goes, I liked them better when they were a bit more "trad metal." Which is funny, because I can listen to Opeth, King Crimson and Neurosis for hours on end, but the last two Tool albums drove me up the wall.

I could make the whole CD out of bad songs by Pearl Jam and Guns n' Roses (you take the good with the bad):

Pearl Jam - Hey Foxymophandlemama, That's Me (Vitalogy) [Worst ever. Not really even a song.]
GnR - My World (Use Your Illusion II)
Bruce Springsteen - Mary Queen of Arkansas (Greetings from Asbury Park)
Billy Joel - C'Etait Toi (You Were the One) (Glass Houses) [Bonus points for Billy singing in French; he has since repented and renounced this song]
Rolling Stones - Hearts for Sale (Steel Wheels)
Fleetwood Mac - Oh Daddy (Rumors)
Beatles - Girl (Rubber Soul)

Grateful Dead - Looks Like Rain. An instant damper on a perfectly good set. Commonly refered to as a "piss break" song.
Phish - Fast Enough For You - hokey love song on an otherwise perfect concept album
Led Zeppelin - Kashmir - Rock radio Staple and at least 4 minutes too long, please make it stop.
Cake - Half of each of their albums... an amazing group. Each CD is comprised of 4 or 5 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT songs, and the other 4 or 5 tunes are, to me, absolutely useless filler (not necessaraly bad, but flat and uninspired). luckily Live, they seem to realize this and play mostly the Brilliant songs.
G. Love and Special Sauce - Night of the Living Dead - I just don't get it and the melody leaves something to be desired. Just break down the funk G, and give me those sloppy mumbly lyrics that I crave.
Sublime - Scarlet Begonias - An insulting rendition in the humble opinion of this Dead Head. And the rapping list of drugs tacked on drives me crazy.
The Who - I'm a Boy - Just a little too creepy even for the creepy mind of Pete Townsend.

Are we just doing one song from each band/artist?

Old 97's, "What We Talk About"
Weezer, "Getchoo"
Tupac, "Brenda's Got a Baby"
Snoop, "Murder Was the Case"
Foo Fighters, "Generator"
Soundgarden, "Burden in My hand"
Nirvana, "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
Cruiserweight, "Yellow Lights"
Saves the Day, "At Your Funeral"

"We sold some mushroom tea, we sold some extacy, we sold nitrous, opium, acid, heroin, and PCP; and now I hear the police comin' after me..." I always kinda liked that section Tom. Harrrumph.

In addition, the debut album from Audioslave is one of those half and half records. There's so much talent in that band, and a lot of the songs on that record are fantastic, but the ones that aren't are just poopy drivel.

Bruce Springsteen.. pick any of them. I'd rather spend an hour grating my fingers down a blackboard.

I pretty much liked the Dixie Chicks, not that they were a favorite, but I got fed up with them real fast, and it was before Natalie Maines shot off her mouth trash talking the President to a bunch of foreigners (hey, stupid, you don't have to like him, but keep it in house, okay?).

What did it was when they covered that Fleetwood Mack song, that I couldn't stand in the original. Coupled with the video, with the one woman obviously pregnant. Didn't know if she was really pregnant or if it was part of the subliminal message, but it creeped me out - one of the changes you're singing about it that you're leaving the guy, while you're pregnant? Is it his kid, or what? You don't want him to be the daddy? What? What?

Oh, and as for entire albums by favorite bands, I'd put in Cracker's Garage D'Or. Every song on the first CD is terrific, but they're all from their first three albums, and the second CD is a bunch of outtakes and live recordings patched together... crap. Buy the first three albums and forget Garage D'Or, a cheesy attempt to cash in on previous work without adding anyhting new.

Oh, and individual songs by favorite bands: Camper van Beethoven's "When I Win the Lottery." At first it sounds funny but then you realize he's making fun of veterans, and doing to them what Kerry did to his former compatriots as soon as he got his precious ass back to the land of the Big PX.

OT Breaking News: CNN just reported Rick James is dead.

Queen: "Get Down, Make Love." Even if you figure everything they did from News of the World on was satire, this is a particularly egregious song.

Anything (but especially their cover of "Summertime Blues) by Rush.

"Mom please flush it all away"

Love the concept, sorry for the late comment, just read the post. It's funny how we listen to a horrible song by a band we love, and think, it must be musical genius on a level I don't yet understand. Aenima is too good to be on that list though.