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Corny

When I saw this picture over at Powerline, I knew it was just crying out to be Photoshopped. So I sent it to my sister, who came up with this. It makes absolutely no sense, but it cracked my shit up. 4more.JPG Update: Winner.

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Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Corny:

» Corny, Cornier, Corniest from After Gutenberg
Now you know you are in the good hands of the spin doctors. [Read More]

» MORE CORNY HUMOR from Michelle Malkin
If you thought the idea of driving while eating corn on the cob was dangerous, get a load of John Kerry campaigning while packing corn.... [Read More]

» The Laughs Just Keep On Coming from INDC Journal
The Kerry campaign continues to connect with the common man, this time by pandering to the WRONG sports affiliation: On Sunday and into Monday, Kerry hit Michigan, where he attempted to use the same Ohio jokes. Clearly, the sports... [Read More]

» Too Tempting from Overtaken by Events
I'll just add my two cents along with her, him, him and her. (Ok, and "He who is always wittier... [Read More]

» http://www.allahpundit.com/archives/000762.html from Allah Is In The House
And for dessert, the gayest photo ever taken of a U.S. presidental candidate. UPDATE: Michele and Red have corn captions.... [Read More]

» Too Tempting from Overtaken by Events
I'll just add my two cents along with her, him, him and her. (Ok, and "He who is always wittier... [Read More]

» Four more ears? from One Fine Jay
For Colin McNickle, who has proven that hypocrites are generally not self-aware. (HT: Michele for the photoshopping idea.) [Read More]

» I'm a sheep. from Redsugar Muse
This may be the most rapidly (and rabidly) photoshopped picture of the campaign so far. (thus the title.) 1 2 3 4 5... [Read More]

» Go Buckeyes! from protein wisdom
see also: ASV, INDC, Michelle Malkin, Ace, Allah, Redsugar, Overtaken, and Powerline. [Read More]

» Campaign Associate from Say Anything
Take a look at this photo of John Kerry campaigning in Iowa: Who's that in the background? At first glance it appears to be Teresa Heinz Kerry, but could it be...... [Read More]

» Too Tempting from Overtaken by Events
I'll just add my two cents along with her, him, him and her. (Ok, and "He who is always wittier... [Read More]

» JohnKerry.corn from Wizbang
"Teresa and I play our own version of Cornhole, wanna see?" or "Our gift to the sexually represed masses in Alabama, eco-friendly dildos. Teresa's using one right now..." Photo - Powerline Elsewhere: a small victory, Overtaken By Events, Allah... [Read More]

» Too Tempting from Overtaken by Events
I'll just add my two cents along with her, him, him and her. (Ok, and "He who is always wittier... [Read More]

» Two Cobs and a Knob from HOG ON ICE
My Entry in the Kerry Photoshop Frenzy I had to jump on the bandwagon before the last seat was taken.... [Read More]

» Kerry's House of Ketchup #22 from The American Mind
Kerry speaks. Welcome to the bounce-less edition of Kerry's House of Ketchup. The "Duel in Davenport" never materialized, but... [Read More]

» Boku no Kerry Corn from Mind of Mog
Kerry offers a viable solution for the sexually frustrated masses who just can't get enough of the Johns. Quoting:"Our gift to the sexually represed masses in Alabama, eco-friendly dildos. Teresa's using one right now..."Dual use too, they are edib... [Read More]

» Boku no Kerry Corn from Mind of Mog
Kerry offers a viable solution for the sexually frustrated masses who just can't get enough of the Johns. Quoting:"Our gift to the sexually represed masses in Alabama, eco-friendly dildos. Teresa's using one right now..."Dual use too, they are edib... [Read More]

» Kerry's House of Ketchup #22 from The American Mind
Kerry speaks. Welcome to the bounce-less edition of Kerry's House of Ketchup. The "Duel in Davenport" never materialized, but... [Read More]

» Corny, Cornier, Corniest from Your Guess Is As Good As Mine
A Social Virus endorses four more ears. Now you know you are in the good hands of the spin doctors. --------... [Read More]

Comments

Wow, I didn't know Carrottop was supporting him.

WTF? Please know that people who actually live in Iowa do not drive around holding corn out the windows.

"A chicken in every pot, an ear of corn in every hand!"

"Watch how fast I can make these peasants run. Driver, hit it!"

Carrottop? I'm pretty sure that's Ozzy.

"I am not aristocratic! This is not Silver Queen corn, it's Silverado! Hey, speaking of Silverado, did I mention that I was born in the west wing of a hospital in Colorado?"

cyrano, that was funny.

Lisa - yea they do - Malkin had a nice little ditty about that the other day

(http://michellemalkin.com/archives/000330.htm)

That's city folk for ya'. We rural people know that corn is dangerous and treat it accordingly.

Nathan is right, that woman looks eerily similar to Ozzy. I wonder if Kerry's picked up another celebrity groupie on that bus of his.
Christwagons that woman is ugly, he must've married her for the money...wait...

"So this little ear of corn says, 'You voted for the war before you voted against it.' And this little ear of corn says, 'How dare you attack my patriotism.'"

"Get back in the damn limo John. Mumsy needs some more sherry."

"People, lend me your ears!"

"People, lend me your ears!"

Lisa, corn is only dangerous when it's in my kitchen. ;)

"Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat. Nothin' up my sleeve."

"Let me show you Iowa farmers how to milk a cow."

looks like michael jackson. Just need a surgical mask.

How about a Hee-Haw Saaaaaaaaaaaa-lute?

Teresa Heinz-Kerry. "Take this cob and SHOVE IT".

"Shove these!"

Last night, Hallmark showed the episode of M*A*S*H where they did a whole year in a show. Father Mulchahy grow corn plants by the mess tent (did they ever bug out in 1951?), he was looking forward to eating them on the cob for fourth of July, and they ended up creamed by Igor.

Kerry's corn is going to get creamed.

"Which end is the top? Maybe I should hold one each way??? Dang it, Rove will call that a flip-flop!! - Hey, I hope I haven't been duped - maybe there isn't really corn in these things...? What if they're full of chili?"

"I invented corn"....

Meanwhile at a laboratory on Jersey Shore:

"Gentlemen, BEHOLD! CORN!"

"Uh, I dunno Doctor Weird, I remember what happened last time..."

"IT'S NOT AT ALL LIKE LAST TIME!!"

"Well, uh, ok..."

"NO IT'S EXACTLY LIKE LAST TIME STEVE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Kong, I can just picture it. Master Shake, Frylock, Meatwad and.....Corn! We can call him Cornholio.

Clinton used puny cigars...look what I use!!

Have no fear, the Kerry KornMobile is here! Help is on the way!

It looks to me as if Kerry is working on his Ninja throwing corn techniques so he can go up against the 1000 fighting styles of Don Rumsfeld.

Some of the best times I ever had were crawling on my belly through a cornfield with my trusty shotgun.

HEY! LOOK WHAT I PULLED OUT OF OZZY CARROT TOP!

CORNBALLS ON THE ROAD....READY TO BE HUSKED!!

AND THE BUSHIES WILL BOIL, COOK AND CREAM THEM.

Those captions are the best. Hilarious photo!

"Look, Theresa, common people eat this stuff."

"No way!"

tpw, ROFL!!!!

"Hey! Can any of you guys out there tell me what these things are? They didn't have any of these over in Veitnam."

Kerry Vietnam Flashback, Part 8,954:

"Back in the day, during my 100-day tour of 'Nam, just after My Band of Brother and I finished editing some re-cut scenes with Spielberg's toady, we used to then shuck corn on the West Bank of the Mekong Delta.

I swear, I have some pictures.

Jeeves, where are those pictures?

What, you don't have them?

That's an attack on my dignity. Why, I'm gonna shove this ear of maize up your..."

Roll tape. Queue the music. Where are the @#!%$&*!! balloons go--amnit!

To be continued...

"There are Two Corns. One is the Corn of the imperialist, warmongering, wealthy, industrial complex. The other, the Corn of the common people...er...pssst...John, how come they look the same?"

"Ta-ray-zaaaaa. Have you ever seen something this big before?"

"Frankly, John...No."

**************************************************

"Ta-ray-zaaaa. Look! I got two new pet corn. This one's flip and the other is flop."

**************************************************

"John! What were you doing digging in my personal things? Put those back! I might need those later."
**************************************************

"Wow! I haven't smoked anything this big since...did you know I was in Veit Nam?"

Who leaked this photo! One of my 6000 lawyers on call to contest the election, get on this now!

*************************************************

Why, that's un-Mozambiquean.

*************************************************

Is there any of this corn stuff in that, what do you call it, chili?

Hurray.
I have bunny ears for my blue little bunny outfit. D'oh. These ears are GREEN.
JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVES. (starts to throw tantrum)

Commander Kerry reporting for duty. Uh, who do I report to? Jacque, booby, any idea?

************************************************

I was a war hero! I've performed the inhuman feat of resuscitating hamsters!

Waaaaaaah, take down those photos!

Does anyone else see Teresa's similarity to Calvert De Forest in this photo?

This may be a better photo to compare.

Thanks!! :o)

Kerry Vietnam Flashback, Part 8,955:

You're all worthless and weak. As we
traipse through the cornfields, dining on fresh Chilean seabass and Shrimp Vindaloo flown in from the Yacht Club, I must remind all of you sub-billionaire peons that I, Commander Kerry, am the King of Nuance, a critical, subtle thinker levels beyond mortal man.

Are you so stupid you don't see the connection?
Corn is an additive for what? Anyone? Bueller?

Gasoline, you idiots!

And gasoline goes into what? Swiftboats!

And what did I and My Band of Two Brothers ride in Vietnam? A swiftboat! Don't you get it? And any time someone slipped overboard as I drove recklessly, well, I, Commander Kerry, lept into the two-foot deep water and resuscitated that man!

Here, I have my campaign prop, Max Cleland to vouch for me.

"Aaaah! Throw them the corn! Maybe these flyover zone mutants will fight over it and we can run away. Whose idea was this? This is just like Damnation Alley!"

insomni,

That's eerie. LMAO.

"Corn, which the Indians called maize... as in the maize and blue colors of Michigan... Go BUCKEYES!"

Loook Booby, they are ribbed on the inside, and you dont need batteries.....

Michele... I've done updated and I think I may have outdone myself.">John F. Cornholio.

A gift.

Damn. that was supposed to be a link to John F. Cornholio.

Maybe the guys at JibJab can do this right:

Green acres is the place to be
A friend to farmers is John F. Kerry!
I share your values
red, white, and blue
but keep your Frosty
and give me that vindaloo

Pittsburgh
is where Iíd rather stay
a ketchup fortune with which I can play
I canít stand these Middle-Western proles
Take that corn
and shove it in their holes!

Da da da da da
The votes!

Da da da da da
Huge boats!

Da da da da da
Great hair!

Da da da da da
Billionaire!

Itís on my dime, your butt is mine
Do as I say or say goodbye!

I haven't gone over to Fark to look, but I suspect that corn is Paris Hilton's pigtails by now.

Dudes, I am so going to two-hole qualify Teresa tonight!

Is that Michael Jackson behind him?

...and, yes, we will encourage Congess to pass a law to end the curse of child-cornography.

''Ter-ay-za, you're getting the voters corn-fused. Please stop popping off''

-John Kerry

That ain't Teraaaiza in the background, folks. That's Brett Somers of Match Game fame. Why she is a campaign adviser is a mystery that may never be solved.

"I've got a whole bag of these things ... I intend to run my tour bus on this corn-fuel to show the American people a REAL energy policy."

"With these, I can rule the country!!"

(My vote for funniest so far is cyrano's:

"Watch how fast I can make these peasants run. Driver, hit it!")

("Look at all those poor, pathetic Iowa farmers out there, awed by these ears of corn. Say, is my upper lip curling too much?")

"Citizens of America, do you know what these two corn cobs represent? Well it's a secret. Vote for me and when I'm President I'll tell you."

i love me
i love karate
i love anna
i love kerry
who is he anyway

i love me
i love judo
i love sam
i love blair
who is he anyway

kerry kerry kerry all the way!
Seriously people, Bush scares me.
VOTE 4 KERRY