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conspiracy theory of the day: Piazza Knew, Clemens Blew!

The big conspiracy of the day: Mike Piazza tipped batters off to Clemens's pitches last night in an act of sweet revenge, thus letting Clemens get battered in the All Star game, in front of his home town crowd. Rumor also has it that Piazza was smiling widly underneath his catcher's mask. Now, I don't really believe this theory. But, if true, I can't help but want to buy Piazza a beer. However, I tend to believe that Clemens did himself in the old-fashioned way. By choking.

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» ALL-STAR BIZARRE from Begging To Differ
Yesterday at the Major League All-Star Game in Houston, Mike Piazza may or may not have been tipping The Rocket's pitches to batters, and a good time was had by all. (Six runs and two homers in a single inning... [Read More]

» ALL-STAR BIZARRE from Begging To Differ
Yesterday at the Major League All-Star Game in Houston, Mike Piazza may or may not have been tipping The Rocket's pitches to batters, and a good time was had by all. (Six runs and two homers in a single inning... [Read More]

» I squirted coffee over this one from it comes in pints?
BUSH LIED! BASEBALLS FLIED!!!... [Read More]

» Paul Simon, 1941-2004 from it comes in pints?
Paul Simon, the shorter, less-balding half of Simon and Garfunkel, will be found bludgeoned to death after Michele reads this. Poor bastard. It's a shame, really. He knew nothing of Michelle's wrath.... [Read More]

Comments

Vicious lie. Piazza would never do that.

However, I hear he did call for pitches to the batter's strength ("I'm telling you, Roger, he can't hit a belt-high changeup")

Give it a 7...not much of a beat, but still pretty easy to dance to.

I did notice that it was his slider that most, maybe all of them, crushed. The slider is Clemen's #3 pitch at best. If you are pitchnig one or two innings in the All-Star game, shouldn't you be throwing your #1 and #2 pitch exclusively? In Clemen's case that would be fastball / splitter.

I did notice that it was his slider that most, maybe all of them, crushed.
The thing is, Clemens is a hothead, always has been. And I'm sure he was all amped up about this start and was trying to strike out the side 1, 2, 3. He shook off Piazza on the pitch to Soriano and threw a slider. The slider is one pitch, that if it gets overthrown (say, by a hothead trying to impress 45,000 people), it'll hang in the strikezone like a teeball.

For more see Wohlers, Mark, and Leyritz, Jim in the 1996 World Series.

I buy it. Curtis buys it. Kuby buys it.
That makes it true!

Two Mets fans today at work already said that Clemens threw the game for home field advantage because you know he is being traded to the Yankees.
Ha.

Don't lie, Michelle - you know Bush/Cheney et al were behind it.

As they are behind everything from global warming to dental plaque.

BUSH LIED! BASEBALLS FLIED!!!

Percy,
That would be "Karl Rove is behind it." You remember the mantra "Bush is an idiot!" unless he's diabolically schemeing to rule the world of course.

I especially loved the Soriano HR. Hell, I loved the whole first inning of the All Star game...the greateast inning of baseball I've seen this year. Can't. Stand. Clemens.

Ebby Calvin Clemens: God, that sucker teed off on that like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball!
Crash Piazza: He did know.
Ebby Calvin Clemens: How?
Crash Piazza: I told him.

And now that I have your attention... let us remember these two classic lines from Bull Durham:

Crash Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

and the only good words that ever came out of Susan Sarandon's mouth (I cut out the unnecessary parts):

Annie Savoy: I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. ... You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex... Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate... I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.

More quotes from Bull Durham

What's funny is, the past few days on the Talk Radio station here in Houston, that's all anyone's talking about. So a good portion of Houston is convinced that Piazza was a traitor to the NL team. I think it's hilarious that people care that much, that they're watergating this whole situation.

I have a photo, if anyone is interested, showing Piazza on that grasy knoll in Dallas. Plus, it is well known in intelligence circles that all the Ialian-American catchers in the WTC called in sick that morning.

Just check the internet - - - it is all there.
Signed Ivan (proud Met fan since 1963)