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Something you need when writing a book proposal is a proposed title of your book. Well, maybe you don't really need it, but I have always been one of those writers who needs to have a title for a work in progress. I'll be collecting all my relevant essays on a separate blog, so whatever the title for the book would be will be the title of the blog. Actually, there will be two, as one will encompass my Raising Hell and other parenting stories, and the other will encompass all the pop culture related memoirs and such I've written here. I really wish I could use the title Raising Hell, but I can't, as it belongs to a whole bunch of us (especially Mig) and not me. So I need to come up with a title for a book that will be a collection of essays on raising kids, but not raising kids in that "kids say the cutest, sweetest things" way, but more in the "mommy, what's a blow job?" way. Or in the now infamous "don't pee in the Millennium Falcon" way. So, obviously, I'm looking for help with a title. If I eventually use a title you suggest, I promise to give you credit in the book, which will be widely read by my entire family and a few friends.


Hey, "Don't Pee in the Millenium Falcon" is now a catchphrase at my house.

People would buy the book just for the title alone.

George "Fuckwad" Lucas would sue me in a heartbeat.

"Does This Book Cover Make My Ass Look Fat?"

"Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Anime"

"A Small Victory: Moonbats, Little League and Tunes From the '90s."

Really? How?

If Rush can't sue for 'Big, Fat,Idiot' and Moore can't sue for 'Fat, Stupid, White'. Then how?

More on point, there are dozens of Trek/SW books on the shelves that make money specificly from someone else's subject matter. You're talking about pissing in a toy.

Use it....and change it if they make you

I think Don't Pee... is the perfect title. And so what if George Lucas raises a fuss - you can't buy that kind of publicilty.

I supppose "Raising Cane" has been used?

"Mommy, what's a blow job?" kinda works.... but it might be confused for one of those "talk to your kids about sex" books...

How about simply Moments of sureality: A Small Victory in childrearing"

of course in the forward, you can talk about how each little thing is, in fact a small victory. Dont' we all know it, too.

I want a signed copy, though!

Proper Bringin'

Don't put that in your ear

In the tradition of wild, speculative brain-storming, here is one title suggestion:

Perfect Parenting 100 and Other Disasters

how about

"So You Don't End Up in a Van Down by the RIVER!"

SNL... Chris Farley...

"Choking On My Gatorade And Other Adventures In Parenting"

How about

"Mom, stop drinking tequila and turn that noise down!"

Oh yeah, and the Trek and Star Wars books are licensed properties--meaning they have permission to write their drivel.

How about :

"Pissing in the mouth of George Fucking Lucas and other fun things to do on a rainy Saturday"

Banging Uncles.. peeing on George!

You people are sick!

All kidding aside, you got a fun group commenting here (Brownshirt Esmay excluded - JK Dean).

To me, nothing says pop culture ASV style better than:

"Where the hell is Battlecat?"

I also vote the for "Don't Pee" title, and I think its worth running by someone familiar with copyright laws. In this instance I don't believe you're in any violation by using a colloquialism, even if it refers to a thing in the star wars universe.

Other suggestions:

Mommy, what's a blowjob? And other humbling moments in parenting

Between Theory and Reality: Small Victories on the Battlefield of Parenting

From Pampers to Prom: How to survive parenting with your humor intact, if not your sanity


Kids: The reason your parents say "Payback's a bitch"

To me, nothing says pop culture ASV style better than: "Where the hell is Battlecat?"

Tys is referring to Action Figures Caught on Cam: Thanksgiving

I'd also vote for "Don't pee ..." as first choice. It's a book I'd love to put onto my shelves.

I think you should propose it as your working title - any publisher ought to be able to tell you if it will be acceptable.

How about what you say when a kid pees in the Millenium Falcon ... "Urine Trouble".


Definitely go with the peeing thing. :)

Use the Millenium Falcon bit. It's perfect as far as titles go: catches the interest and the imagination and defines your audience all in one fell swoop.

Besides, is it trademarked? I'm assuming it is, but can't you just include a bit in the copyright information saying the phrase Millenium Falcon is the property of George Lucas/whomever actually owns it (Lucasfilm, Skywalker Ranch, etc.)and is used with permission? Well, not really, but if you really want a smackdown with George this is the way to start it.

Good luck.

I would adjust the BJ version slightly to - Mommy, what's a Lewinsky?

Alex, having written for a few of those Trek/SW books I can tell you firsthand that there are quite a few of them are done with no permission whatsoever.

'Unauthorized' is a dead giveaway for this type as are odd typefaces.

Michele, writhe the title--"don't pee in the millenium falcon" just like that and no one will be able to say a damned thing.

How about:

Raising Hellions - Adventures in Motherhood

I too vote for "Don't pee in the Millennium Falcon." It's priceless really and kind of says it all.

Gotta go with Don't Pee...

BJ would start an uproar.

Besides, DP is hilarious.

I'm not sure if this is off-topic or not, but where did Chewbacca go?

Well, in the same vein as don't pee (hehe, I said "vein") why not:
Housebreaking Chewbaca

...got a ring to it, methinks...