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I'm kinda busy over here. Did I mention we're throwing a surprise retirement party for my mom tommorow? Just family...which means about 70 people. If anyone has any ideas for good gag gifts for my mom I'd appreciate it. Because we never, ever take anything seriously in my family. There always has to be some kind of gag. We already bought her a cane. Anyhow, won't be around much between now and tomorrow evening as we've got a lot to do before the party, but I will make it a point to get the poll up for the best movies of the 90's vote tommorow morning. Go make your nominations, because I don't want to hear any bitching when the final list is announced.


Really says it all about the double lives of bloggers that you can tell thousands of readers in a public forum that you are throwing your mom a surprise party, secure in the knowledge that she'll never know what you write here.

I'd peruse the nearby alleyways for a "suitable" easy chair. If you live near a college, there should be plenty to choose from. Just be sure to evict the kittens before handling.

And remember: presentation is the key! Put it in your front room, keep it under a sheet (one that odors can't get through), and make her think you got her something really special. And be sure to keep a camera ready for the unveiling.

Good gag gifts: glasses with eyes that pop out, fake vomit, woopie cushion, fake ice with fly inside, soap that makes face black, super hot chewing gum.

I'd go for some giant-ass coke-bottle glasses that would befit the late Harry Caray or the (I think) living spokes-crone for Old Navy.

One year I got a wooden preschool puzzle with a clock in the middle, I didn't take the wrapper off so the pieces would stay together. Then with sticky mailing labels everyone renamed the activities to reflect the life of leisure the retiree was going to have to keep track of. It was a big success.

~Have a good party!

How about a package of Depends? And a bottle of Centrum Silver vitamins? Some Metamucil fiber supplement? a magnifing glass, Polident denture fixative? Hearing aid batterys. I could probably go on and on......

have fun!

Season tickets to the Mets? Pefect for a retiring Yankee fan.

Short of that, I'd say a wad of lottery tickets and a trip to Hawaii. (That's just the kind of funny gag gift I want when I retire.)

You can't go wrong with fart powder.

Hey, congrats to your Mom :)
My vote goes on the whoopie cushion!!

Get her the ASV-WWR Evil Genius Ass-Slap-o-Matic! She'll be the talk of the town!

One year we got our mom a singing birthday card, but the singer was in a gorilla suit. She certainly was surprised!

some blue hair dye. All the old ladies are using it. :P

My sister and I gave my mom a porn tape for Christmas, once, and signed our other sister's name to it once. Neither one of them knew what to do!

A Lawrence Welk CD.

Michele - If you have the time, find an antique store and get an old-fashioned ear trumpet. and send her my congratulations. Have fun, Terry

When my brother-in-law turned fifty we sent a list of 50 ways to say old fart and related phrases in spanish (he is half cuban).

My family used to have a really big red pair of undershorts (clean ones), 60" plus waist, that was passed around, suitably wrapped, every Christmas.
Of course, if your mother has a weight problem, that might not work.

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