I've discovered that a sports rivalry can be more divisive than any left/right politics.
I am not a spoiled sports brat, contrary to popular belief. It's not like the Yankees have always had good years. I've sat through some major suckage, just like the rest of you. Bob Lemon ring a bell? 89? 90? 91?
I'm an Islander fan. Who has suffered more than that? The early years were a disaster but it's even worse to win four cups in a row and then hit rock bottom all over again.
I grew up a Jets fan. You want miserable failure? Try wearing the green and the white. How many of you had a team actually abandon you
I've taken a lot of crap over time for my sports allegiances. If you Red Sox fans want to complain about my attitude, go talk to your fellow sports enthusiasts in town, the Bruins fans. They singlehandedly did more to embitter me toward opposing fans than anyone else in any sport, including Flyers fans and Duke fans. And don't even get me started on the fair weather Met fans of 1986 who, to this day, remain on my list of people to smite when I receive my godly powers some day.
I used to be casual about rivalries. I used to enjoy all teams from all sports. I've worn the jerseys of the Maple Leafs, the Braves and the San Antonio Spurs. I've cheered on teams from Winnepeg down to Houston. I've been a good sport. But those days are gone and you've all played a part in it. So now I've joined the dark side and become on of them; the sports fan that you hate. The one who gloats when your team sucks. The one who lords it over you when your team is so error prone they make the Bad News Bears look like a gold glove all star team. The one who cuts pictures of your favorite players out of the newspaper and mails them to you, defaced and disgraced. I am a bitter, war-torn sports fan and even though I will never, ever be the one who wears face paint or starts a stupid chant, I will be the one grinning like an evil bastard at you when your team goes down hard.
I hate myself for it sometimes, but it can't be helped. I'm not spoiled. I'm just filled with a bitter poison that's been fed to me from years of rivarly abuse.
Evil sports fans are not born, they are made. You made me. Are you happy now, Dr. Frankenstein? Well, are you
Yanks v. Mets tonight
at the Big Blue Toilet Bowl.
Bring it on