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linkage + caption contest = lazy yet fruitful blogging

* Baseball Crank is on a roll. Just start at the top and scroll down. Don't miss the Clinton post. * Sharp Marbles opens up John Kerry's divorce papers. * Dodd talks about how no one talks about Statement #15. * Cam is putting together a weekly Blogger Roundtable for his radio show. * Gratutious link to Bill for linking to the hypnotoad. * Gratutious link to Meryl because she has been consistently spectacular of late. Re Gmail invites: Everyone who donated should get their invite by tonight. If you don't, please email me in the morning. Thank you once again to everyone who donated either money to the Eggers family or their own Gmail invites. Speaking of Gmail, users might want ot check this out: Gtray (via Bill) And now, for your amusement, Cheney's blank slate: cheneyblank.jpg Fill in yourself or just provide a caption in the comments.


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"You're right, Pataki didn't even notice me lifting his wallet."

"Actually, what I said to Leahy was, 'Go Tuck yourself' -- all that man ever does is complain about his f*cking hemorrhoids. But somebody misunderstood, and I just decided, what the f*ck, I'll play along."

I have a question. I found a site with 1999 headlines.

The links all don't work. But it looks like some of the same panic buttons used today were used by the media and anti-war movement. I spotted "world war", "vietnam", "cluster bombs", call up of reservists, george orwell references and "A NATO Bomb killed his mother".

Can someone verify these headlines and get the articles on the net?

I want to know if the media does the same thing every war?

The link is:

"Russia Leaders Warn of World War" (Washington Post, April 17, 1999)

"Serbs Have Stocks Of Chemical Weapons: Pentagon" (Central Europe Online, April 17, 1999)

"Vietnam Syndrome" (Times of India, April 17, 1999)

"Cluster Bombs May Be What Killed Refugees" (LA Times, April 17, 1999)

"Pentagon to ask Clinton to call up 33,000 reservists - April 16, 1999" (CNN, April 16, 1999)

"150,000 armed Serbs ready to resist NATO invation" (Stock Smart Pro, April 16, 1999)

"George Orwell is Smiling" (Toronto Sun, April 15, 1999)

"Bill Clinton's War" (Progressive, May 1999)

"A NATO Bomb killed his mother" (Toronto Sun, April; 12, 1999)

If the radar gun messes with my pacemaker, just hit the reboot button on my chest.

"..and so I said to Karl, Karl I want you to fill every vending machine and newsstand within a mile of the convention hall with nothing but Baby Ruth Bars. That ought to be enough to make Kerry Sweat.

So when the 9/11 commission report comes out you can quote me when the media asks you to respond.

"Yeah, I just saw Steinbrenner in the tunnel, and I said to him just what I said to Lahey. And I tell you I felt better after having done it; it was long overdue."

Well, Rudy, George has that funny look on his face because when I told him to go fuck himself with that hot dog I did not realize he would take it literally.

"I think we're starting to run out of secure, undisclosed locations, know what I mean?"

I know I'll catch hell for this but:

"I lost the bet, I'm wearing the fucking hat, okay? Now shut the fuck up and wipe that fucking grin off your fucking face, you fucking Y--kee fan."

"What the f*ck are you grinnin' at? I'm on the ticket and I'm stayin' on the ticket. You'll get your turn in '08 -- if Condi asks you."

You're right! This hat beats fuckin' Rogaine any day!

"Look, you don't have to smile everytime the excitement gives me a chest pain. If it happens, it happens."

I'm Dick Cheney, bitch! (just imagine that said in Cheney's voice)...

"God the Red Sox are worse on defense than Kerry! I mean f#ckin Bagdad was better defended."

And yes I am wondering if the DRays can actually catch the Red Sox. This seems the only race to watch this summer. Hey the Red Sox can choke the division and the wild card in the same year.

"Tomorrow night, Ortiz fucks up. Bet on it."

The Hypnotoad provided us with the intelligence on WMD. All glory to the Hypnotoad.

If the Red Sox win, I'll buy the guy behind me a personality.

So, that prostate cancer post treatment check thing, that's a bitch, innit?

"And wearing these head covers makes the 'watching' humans feel connected to the 'playing' humans?"

So, Kerry's a Red Sox fan....makes sense.

"I didn't even know today was Suit Day. First one hundred middle-aged guys in suits get a free hat. Sweet!"

"And get this: I made Georgie say "I want to change the tone of Washington to one of civility and respect" back on the campaign trail - and those suckers bought it!"

And from Tom Burka:

Senate Revises Voting Procedures
In Case Of Senate Tie, Vice President Will Now Say "Aye" or "Go Fuck Yourself"

The Republican-controlled Senate revised its voting procedures today to reflect the new-found propriety of Vice President Dick Cheney's behavior last week on the Senate floor.

Now, in the event of a tie, the Vice-President will break the tie by voting in the affirmative and saying "Aye", or, when voting in the negative, saying "Go fuck yourselves."

Additonally, the more traditional "Aye" or "Nay" will be henceforth replaced by "Fuck Me" and "Fuck You."

The Senate Sergeant-at-Arms will no longer place members under arrest, but will tell them that they are "fucked." In the event that a member is expelled, the Sergeant-at-Arms will announce that the member has been totally fucked.

When a vote is held up in committee, it will be referred to as "a total fucking."

"We want to thank the Vice President for ushering in a new, more open era of Senate civility," said. Sen. Bill Frist. "I mean, fucking-A."

Why don't they advertise Preparation H as the official hemorrhoid medicine of the New York Yankees?

Did ya notice how everyone in our section is white? Me neither.

I can't think of anything that could beat these..just wanted to say all of these are absolutely hysterical!

I think there's WMDs in the hot dogs.

"remember that 'fuck CrackerJacks' thing last month? It was Rove. He's been bored and Steinbrenner wouldn't comp him last time he was in town."


"Can you believe Kerry's even thought of YOU for VP?"

Sure hope my BoSox voodoo doll works - I had to ask Michele how to use the f*ing thing...

"I like to just come out and tell people trivia for the hell of it. Did you know the Punic Wars began when Carthage -- meaning the western Phoenicians -- attacked Rome? Because Rome's ascendancy threatened Carthage's empire? I'll bet 'Phoenician in a Time of Romans' never knew that."

Quit smiling. I lost the damn bet with Michele, OKAY???

"Stop asking me for a hotdog--the Appropriations committee only gave me enough for our tickets."

"So, what's all this I hear about these great pitchers you guys got here? They're named Andy and Roger something, right?"

"Okay, Rudy, let's try this again. Osama stole your ballcap while Saddam stole your combover. There's the link, my ass is saved. Works for you?"

"Geez, Pataki's holding his imaginary gerbil again."

"Hey Rudy, whaddaya say we ditch 'the anchor' and go find a strip club?"

So I says to Pataki: Go Fuck Yourself...

That foul ball hit Pataki in the head harder than we thought.