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» I Got Nothin' from You Bitch
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» Captions from This Blog Is Full Of Crap
Ask, and ye shall receive. Of course, I had to follow up with an Andy and Roger one. Still haven't come up with one to point out that Rudy's missing his hat and his combover.... [Read More]
» Yeah Baby! The Beast Strikes Again! from it comes in pints?
EIGHTY. THREE. IN. A. ROW. You can keep your Mets and your Yankees and your Cubs.... [Read More]
» Lose Weight Fast And Healthy from Lose Weight Fast And Healthy
To be healthy Lose Weight Fast And Healthy [Read More]
Comments
"You're right, Pataki didn't even notice me lifting his wallet."
Posted by: Crank | June 30, 2004 07:56 PM
"Actually, what I said to Leahy was, 'Go Tuck yourself' -- all that man ever does is complain about his f*cking hemorrhoids. But somebody misunderstood, and I just decided, what the f*ck, I'll play along."
Posted by: McGehee | June 30, 2004 08:05 PM
I have a question. I found a site with 1999 headlines.
The links all don't work. But it looks like some of the same panic buttons used today were used by the media and anti-war movement. I spotted "world war", "vietnam", "cluster bombs", call up of reservists, george orwell references and "A NATO Bomb killed his mother".
Can someone verify these headlines and get the articles on the net?
I want to know if the media does the same thing every war?
The link is:
http://www.intouch.ca/miniato/kosovo990417.htm
"Russia Leaders Warn of World War" (Washington Post, April 17, 1999)
"Serbs Have Stocks Of Chemical Weapons: Pentagon" (Central Europe Online, April 17, 1999)
"Vietnam Syndrome" (Times of India, April 17, 1999)
"Cluster Bombs May Be What Killed Refugees" (LA Times, April 17, 1999)
"Pentagon to ask Clinton to call up 33,000 reservists - April 16, 1999" (CNN, April 16, 1999)
"150,000 armed Serbs ready to resist NATO invation" (Stock Smart Pro, April 16, 1999)
"George Orwell is Smiling" (Toronto Sun, April 15, 1999)
"Bill Clinton's War" (Progressive, May 1999)
"A NATO Bomb killed his mother" (Toronto Sun, April; 12, 1999)
Posted by: Researcher | June 30, 2004 08:07 PM
If the radar gun messes with my pacemaker, just hit the reboot button on my chest.
Posted by: Laurence Simon | June 30, 2004 08:10 PM
"..and so I said to Karl, Karl I want you to fill every vending machine and newsstand within a mile of the convention hall with nothing but Baby Ruth Bars. That ought to be enough to make Kerry Sweat.
Posted by: LarryConley | June 30, 2004 08:29 PM
So when the 9/11 commission report comes out you can quote me when the media asks you to respond.
Posted by: Rob M | June 30, 2004 08:41 PM
"Yeah, I just saw Steinbrenner in the tunnel, and I said to him just what I said to Lahey. And I tell you I felt better after having done it; it was long overdue."
Posted by: Clark | June 30, 2004 09:06 PM
Well, Rudy, George has that funny look on his face because when I told him to go fuck himself with that hot dog I did not realize he would take it literally.
Posted by: Mark | June 30, 2004 09:07 PM
"I think we're starting to run out of secure, undisclosed locations, know what I mean?"
Posted by: McGehee | June 30, 2004 09:18 PM
I know I'll catch hell for this but:
"I lost the bet, I'm wearing the fucking hat, okay? Now shut the fuck up and wipe that fucking grin off your fucking face, you fucking Y--kee fan."
Posted by: Ken Summers | June 30, 2004 09:18 PM
"What the f*ck are you grinnin' at? I'm on the ticket and I'm stayin' on the ticket. You'll get your turn in '08 -- if Condi asks you."
Posted by: McGehee | June 30, 2004 09:19 PM
You're right! This hat beats fuckin' Rogaine any day!
Posted by: norbizness | June 30, 2004 09:32 PM
"Look, you don't have to smile everytime the excitement gives me a chest pain. If it happens, it happens."
Posted by: Researcher | June 30, 2004 09:35 PM
I'm Dick Cheney, bitch! (just imagine that said in Cheney's voice)...
Posted by: Mark | June 30, 2004 09:43 PM
"God the Red Sox are worse on defense than Kerry! I mean f#ckin Bagdad was better defended."
And yes I am wondering if the DRays can actually catch the Red Sox. This seems the only race to watch this summer. Hey the Red Sox can choke the division and the wild card in the same year.
Posted by: Rob M | June 30, 2004 10:14 PM
"Tomorrow night, Ortiz fucks up. Bet on it."
Posted by: kat | June 30, 2004 10:28 PM
The Hypnotoad provided us with the intelligence on WMD. All glory to the Hypnotoad.
Posted by: Bill McCabe | June 30, 2004 10:29 PM
If the Red Sox win, I'll buy the guy behind me a personality.
Posted by: Midgard | June 30, 2004 10:31 PM
So, that prostate cancer post treatment check thing, that's a bitch, innit?
Posted by: Dave in Texas | June 30, 2004 10:34 PM
"And wearing these head covers makes the 'watching' humans feel connected to the 'playing' humans?"
Posted by: pk | June 30, 2004 11:12 PM
So, Kerry's a Red Sox fan....makes sense.
Posted by: Mara | June 30, 2004 11:15 PM
"I didn't even know today was Suit Day. First one hundred middle-aged guys in suits get a free hat. Sweet!"
Posted by: Belize042 | July 1, 2004 12:56 AM
Caption:
"And get this: I made Georgie say "I want to change the tone of Washington to one of civility and respect" back on the campaign trail - and those suckers bought it!"
And from Tom Burka:
Senate Revises Voting Procedures
In Case Of Senate Tie, Vice President Will Now Say "Aye" or "Go Fuck Yourself"
The Republican-controlled Senate revised its voting procedures today to reflect the new-found propriety of Vice President Dick Cheney's behavior last week on the Senate floor.
Now, in the event of a tie, the Vice-President will break the tie by voting in the affirmative and saying "Aye", or, when voting in the negative, saying "Go fuck yourselves."
Additonally, the more traditional "Aye" or "Nay" will be henceforth replaced by "Fuck Me" and "Fuck You."
The Senate Sergeant-at-Arms will no longer place members under arrest, but will tell them that they are "fucked." In the event that a member is expelled, the Sergeant-at-Arms will announce that the member has been totally fucked.
When a vote is held up in committee, it will be referred to as "a total fucking."
"We want to thank the Vice President for ushering in a new, more open era of Senate civility," said. Sen. Bill Frist. "I mean, fucking-A."
Posted by: Phoenician in a time of Romans | July 1, 2004 01:41 AM
Why don't they advertise Preparation H as the official hemorrhoid medicine of the New York Yankees?
Posted by: Tom | July 1, 2004 03:32 AM
Did ya notice how everyone in our section is white? Me neither.
Posted by: Tristram | July 1, 2004 06:05 AM
I can't think of anything that could beat these..just wanted to say all of these are absolutely hysterical!
Posted by: Vickie | July 1, 2004 06:46 AM
I think there's WMDs in the hot dogs.
Posted by: Laurence Simon | July 1, 2004 07:37 AM
"remember that 'fuck CrackerJacks' thing last month? It was Rove. He's been bored and Steinbrenner wouldn't comp him last time he was in town."
Posted by: TC-LeatherPenguin | July 1, 2004 07:45 AM
CAPTION:
"Can you believe Kerry's even thought of YOU for VP?"
Posted by: Linda | July 1, 2004 07:47 AM
Sure hope my BoSox voodoo doll works - I had to ask Michele how to use the f*ing thing...
Posted by: Keiran Halcyon | July 1, 2004 09:37 AM
"I like to just come out and tell people trivia for the hell of it. Did you know the Punic Wars began when Carthage -- meaning the western Phoenicians -- attacked Rome? Because Rome's ascendancy threatened Carthage's empire? I'll bet 'Phoenician in a Time of Romans' never knew that."
Posted by: McGehee | July 1, 2004 10:46 AM
Quit smiling. I lost the damn bet with Michele, OKAY???
Posted by: spd rdr | July 1, 2004 11:39 AM
"Stop asking me for a hotdog--the Appropriations committee only gave me enough for our tickets."
Posted by: Dave | July 1, 2004 11:52 AM
"So, what's all this I hear about these great pitchers you guys got here? They're named Andy and Roger something, right?"
Posted by: Laurence Simon | July 1, 2004 12:10 PM
"Okay, Rudy, let's try this again. Osama stole your ballcap while Saddam stole your combover. There's the link, my ass is saved. Works for you?"
Posted by: Laurence Simon | July 1, 2004 12:12 PM
"Geez, Pataki's holding his imaginary gerbil again."
Posted by: RC | July 1, 2004 04:19 PM
"Hey Rudy, whaddaya say we ditch 'the anchor' and go find a strip club?"
Posted by: RC | July 1, 2004 04:23 PM
So I says to Pataki: Go Fuck Yourself...
Posted by: SC | July 1, 2004 08:02 PM
That foul ball hit Pataki in the head harder than we thought.
Posted by: Angie Schultz | July 2, 2004 12:34 AM