I'm not in the mood for arguing politics and war today. So, in honor of Father's Day, some quotes from my favorite tv father. Hopefully, this quotes will prove once again that Homer, while a buffoon at times, had his childrens' best interests at heart. Well, at least he was honest about his feelings. And he dispensed some stellar advice.
* I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood * Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos * Marge, donít discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. Itís what separates us from the animals Ö except the weasel. * Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get." * Homer: Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! * I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. * When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! * And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned * Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves! * I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. Homer: Okay, I'm never going to win Father of the Year. In fact, I'm probably the last guy in the world to have kids... wait, let me rephrase that. I love my kids. I'd do anything for Bart and Lisa. Judge: And Margaret? Homer: Who? Lady, you must have the wrong file. Marge: She's talking about Maggie. Homer: Oh! Maggie. I've got nothing against Maggie.