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mmmm...father's day

I'm not in the mood for arguing politics and war today. So, in honor of Father's Day, some quotes from my favorite tv father. Hopefully, this quotes will prove once again that Homer, while a buffoon at times, had his childrens' best interests at heart. Well, at least he was honest about his feelings. And he dispensed some stellar advice.

* I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood * Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos * Marge, donít discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. Itís what separates us from the animals Ö except the weasel. * Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get." * Homer: Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! * I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. * When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! * And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned * Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves! * I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. Homer: Okay, I'm never going to win Father of the Year. In fact, I'm probably the last guy in the world to have kids... wait, let me rephrase that. I love my kids. I'd do anything for Bart and Lisa. Judge: And Margaret? Homer: Who? Lady, you must have the wrong file. Marge: She's talking about Maggie. Homer: Oh! Maggie. I've got nothing against Maggie.


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On becoming a father for the third time:

Homer: [barging in] Hey, it's me. It's hell out there! [notices everyone standing around] Hey, wait a minute. What are all these presents? It looks
like you're... 'showering' Marge with gifts. Hmm...with little, tiny baby-sized gifts. Well, I'll be in the tub.
[walks up stairs]

Maude: By the way, congratulations on your new job, Homer.

Homer: New job? ...Marge is pregnant?! [pulls hair out] Noooooo! [runs up stairs screaming, slams bedroom door]

"Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try. (hehehe right in the butt!)"

I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four. --Homer Simpson

Although I think that The Simpsons jumped the shark a few years ago, I have to admit those are classic. :-)

Just bought the Fourth Season DVD...right when it was starting to pick up steam.

Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Heh - very cute post.

"I would kill everyone in this room for one drop of sweet beer."


You have to keep all that emotion and sadness pent up in a tiny little ball in the middle of your stomach and release it at the appropriate time... like when i threw that bottle at the referree... remember? when daddy hit the referee?