Micah Wright is Still an Idiot
And now he's engaging in baseless - yet funny from this end - conspiracy theories. (Registration is required - and worth it just to glimpse at Wright's mental state of mind once in a while), so I'll just give you the most important part.
I - am - however, very interested by a very curious piece of information I turned up when doing a little search on two warbloggers who were hounding me... I invite everyone to go to http://www.register.com and tell them (in the provided box) that you want to register www.kevinparrott.com when they tell you that the web address is already registered, click "see who owns it" to see who owns it. There are a few steps to the process, but it doesn't take long. Then do the exact same thing for www.jimtreacher.com. Surprise, he's the same guy. Then go back and forth between the two sites and see how often "Jim Treacher" highlights and supports "Kevin Parrott" slamming on me and vice versa. It's amazing how often this guy slams me on one of his sites, then goes onto congratulate his "friend" (himself using an alias) about how clever his "friend" is. When you go onto other people's warblogs and see him/them roundly congratulating him/themselves and directing unsuspecting viewers to one "anothers" blogs, it's kinda astounding. It's even more delicious when you realize that their fellow WarBloggers truly think that Kevin and Jim are two different people even though their writing styles are exactly the same... these same WarBloggers who were rounding mocking everyone who visits this board or ever read one of my comics for being "duped" by Micah The Ranger are themselves being Duped by Kevin The Treacher.See, Kevin hosts Jim's site. But Micah does not bother to try and find anything out beyond the big, giant conspiracy he thought he saw in front of him. He goes so far as to imply that both Treacher and Parrott's posts about him mean nothing because they are liars and cheats as well. Too bad it's not true. Micah has once again made a giant ass of himself. I'm sure that whole thread will disappear soon as Micah believes in revisionist history, as any time he has made an asinine statement, it completely disappeared from the web in record time. Good thing Jim saves everything Micah writes. Someone has got to be able to prove this guy is a Class A Moron. I mean, how hard is it to do a little bit of research to figure out whether they are actually the same people before posting to your forums such a ridiculous lie? Well, we are dealing with a guy here for whom truth is a foreign concept. He also links to me, but gets the address wrong. Eeediot! He says in another post: As to what my point is here: well, I guess there's no point beyond me having discovered that Jim and Kevin are the same person and being astounded that someone who went on such a fucking rampage about me being a liar and "sick in the head" is doing essentially the same thing. I'd love to see an apology from Jim Treacher, similar to the one I sent him under his Kevin Parrott pseudonym, but I doubt I'll ever see it. Keep waiting, you tool. Anyone want to take bets on how long this thread stays up on his forums? (All Your Micah Wright Belong to us) (Micah Wright ReMix Gallery) [Anyhow, everyone knows that Treacher is Puce. Or is he Ken Layne? No, he's Moxie. No, no, I think he's Allah....] Update: I just discovered that Treacher is ME! Take good care of those jugs, Jim. Update 2: I am not Steven Denbeste (though at times I have role played as him), but he wrote about this today, as he got an email from an anonymous "fellow warblogger" warning him that Jim and Kevin are the same dudes!!! Gasp! [Please note that the comments have been closed. There is only so much bandwidth I will suck up in the name of a run-on joke. But y'all were really, really entertaining for two days]
Comments
Why do I get the feeling there needs to be a micahwright.isfullofcrap.com site set up?
Maybe not a blog, but a static page of his claims followed by his mea culpas.
Posted by: Laurence Simon | June 14, 2004 02:13 PM
I am Spartacus. I am also Hot Abercrombie Chick, Oliver Willis, and the InstaWife. Wow, it's amazing how liberating a confession can be. Thank you for the opportunity.
Posted by: Skillzy | June 14, 2004 02:16 PM
Sorry, Skillz. I don't buy the InstaWife thing. Oliver Willis, maybe. He is from Boston, so it makes sense.
Are you sure you're not me?
Posted by: michele | June 14, 2004 02:24 PM
Treacher is Layne. Layne is Moxie. Moxie is Treacher.
Except on Tuesdays, when Treacher is Moxie, Moxie is Layne, and Layne is Treacher.
But when it's raining, Treacher is Treacher, Layne is Layne, and Moxie is Acidman.
Posted by: McGehee | June 14, 2004 02:36 PM
What about when it's raining in NY but not where Treacher is? Would the rain force Layne to become Jay or Jane?
Posted by: michele | June 14, 2004 02:41 PM
NO YOUR ARE LIES
Posted by: Puce | June 14, 2004 02:44 PM
We are all One.
Posted by: willow | June 14, 2004 02:49 PM
I am Iron Man.
Posted by: Big Brother | June 14, 2004 03:02 PM
You sure are vehement about this, Michele. Interesting how we never see YOU and Parrott in the same room together... verrrry interesting...
Posted by: Jim Treacher | June 14, 2004 03:04 PM
Is there any blogger who attacked him who's hosted by Earthlink? You could really ramp up his paranoia by pointing out that Earthlink's founder is a Scientologist. Jim Treacher- J.T.-- John Travolta-- coincidence? I THINK NOT!
Posted by: Mike G | June 14, 2004 03:16 PM
I am Dr. Frank. There, I said it.
I may, however, also be Kevin. Truth be told, I'm just not sure who I am anymore. I could swear when I woke up this morning I was wearing men's pajamas.
Posted by: michele | June 14, 2004 03:17 PM
I yam what I yam and that's what I yam!
Posted by: mbruce | June 14, 2004 03:20 PM
I COULD be the Walrus, I still don't have a car.
Posted by: Rob @ L&R | June 14, 2004 03:21 PM
screwed up the quote
"I could be the walrus and I'd still have to bum rides off of people. "
Posted by: Rob @ L&R | June 14, 2004 03:24 PM
after all the cartoon talk, "Eeediot" just cracked my ass up and I forgot what VRMC polemic I was about to unleash against potential paper target poster bongoes.
Posted by: TC-LeatherPenguin | June 14, 2004 03:30 PM
...that's not a blip..."M" for "military."
The "w" is getting redundant.
Posted by: TC-LeatherPenguin | June 14, 2004 03:31 PM
I have a friend whose thought processes also follow the "path of most conspiracy". It's sort of entertaining to see the stuff he ends up spewing out.
Perhaps I'll get him a tinfoil hat for Christmas this year :)
D
Posted by: Doccus | June 14, 2004 03:38 PM
All I know is that it's a damned shame that Wright has no integrity to match the talent.
Posted by: Peter | June 14, 2004 03:49 PM
Okay wise guy's (actually guy), I think I've figured it out. You "all" are actually just Micah Wright. I knew you were always desperate for attention, but creating dozens of pseudonym's - most of whom are supposedly anti-Micah Wright - that's low. So pathetically low.
Posted by: Patrick Banks | June 14, 2004 03:58 PM
I haven't a clue as to I am, but I'm glad I'm not him.
Posted by: spd rdr | June 14, 2004 04:06 PM
I am Emmitt Smith.
Posted by: Laurence Simon | June 14, 2004 04:06 PM
Ah-ha. What I ALWAYS suspected, bloggers are all psychotics. OR maybe one guy is actually the entire blogosphere. Yeah, that's story, you're ALL the same guy. Micah be praised for uncovering the TRUTH.
Posted by: David | June 14, 2004 04:06 PM
I am Bucky Dent.
Posted by: michele | June 14, 2004 04:07 PM
Andrea Harris is Tim Blair.
I know, because, like, their sites are both on the same domain.
I'm at least as smrt as Micah Wright!
(Also, I bet Lileks is actually Steven Den Beste's alter-ego.)
Posted by: Sigivald | June 14, 2004 04:11 PM
And here I always thought Treacher was Keyser Soze.
Posted by: Crank | June 14, 2004 04:14 PM
Who now?
Posted by: Jeff G | June 14, 2004 04:17 PM
Jeff G. is Maureen Dowd.
Posted by: michele | June 14, 2004 04:18 PM
There is no such thing as a Bucky Dent. It was a fictitious character invented by the Yankees, aided by the White Sox who needed the money, in the 1970s when most of the American public was on drugs.
Michael Moore's next movie will reveal all this.
Posted by: JFH | June 14, 2004 04:19 PM
So you're saying that I hallucinated that October 8, 1978 moment in Yankee history? Damn, that was some good pot.
Posted by: michele | June 14, 2004 04:23 PM
Who is Jane Galt?
Posted by: DrSteve | June 14, 2004 04:25 PM
Actually, I am Tim Blair. And Andrea Harris for that matter. But you'll never get either of them to claim they are me.
Sybil anyone?
Posted by: charles austin | June 14, 2004 04:29 PM
I am a rock. I am an iiiiiisland.
Posted by: pete | June 14, 2004 04:33 PM
Poor Micha .. he just doesn't know when to stop and go back to what it is that he does ... which is, er, ummm ... wait, I know this.. don't tell me... ahhh yess, well... uh ummm... no,no,no, no hints.. uh ..
Posted by: cole | June 14, 2004 04:40 PM
Damn JFH....thanks for the laugh on an otherwise hectic day.
Posted by: Ryan | June 14, 2004 04:41 PM
"Who is Jane Galt?"
My nickname is Jane, so I must be Jane Galt.
Or not. Maybe I'm just Jeff G in drag. ;)
Posted by: Jen | June 14, 2004 04:54 PM
Michele,
October 8th?? That must have been some good weed, for you to lose 6 days of your life ;)
I'nm sure you've posted on this, but I KNOW it was a school day. Did you skip school or did the game last long enough for you to catch the end at home?
Posted by: JFH | June 14, 2004 04:58 PM
Soooo... if it's true that the registrar info is indicative of who writes a blog and you do a search on jimspot.net, then I must be bloghosts!
Wow! I never knew.
Posted by: Jim S | June 14, 2004 05:03 PM
I like to think of myself as Michele's Tyler Durden.
Posted by: Allah | June 14, 2004 05:05 PM
My Bucky Dent Story
Posted by: michele | June 14, 2004 05:05 PM
I am Mike Torrez. You're welcome, Michele.
Posted by: Jeff G | June 14, 2004 05:19 PM
Man, he sure has a lot of pent-up frustration. Probably didnt get laid as much as all the other Rangers, and it's all just boiling out now.
Posted by: Kevin Parrott | June 14, 2004 05:22 PM
I'm not Rappaport.
Posted by: Jay | June 14, 2004 05:38 PM
I know I'm me and not you, because you come and go and I'm here all the time.
Posted by: Darleen | June 14, 2004 05:47 PM
L'Etat, c'est moi.
Posted by: DrSteve | June 14, 2004 05:59 PM
I am Kirok?
Posted by: bill | June 14, 2004 06:01 PM
LOL DrSteve. ANother story I like about Louis XIV is when he is dieing he asked to see his 5 year old heir (grandson). The kid had been heavily coached by the court in his soon to be duties. When the kid approached the deathbed XIV asked who was the King. The kid responded "I am". Upon hearing this XIV grabs the poor kid pulls him to his face and says "Not yet your not".
I know this has nothing to do with Bucky Dent or multi personality bloggers, but hey.
Posted by: David | June 14, 2004 06:07 PM
Well, I'm Lileks. That's why I love me so.
Posted by: SarahW | June 14, 2004 06:16 PM
Hi Sarah, I'm listening to you right now on Hugh Hewitt's show... Wow, you can really multitask!
Posted by: Darleen | June 14, 2004 06:27 PM
Yes, but which Moxie?
(Has enough time passed so that situation is funny now?)
Posted by: Serenity | June 14, 2004 06:45 PM
I am Sparticus.
(But not in that gay homoerotic gladiator way)
Posted by: Bravo Romeo Delta | June 14, 2004 06:47 PM
I am Kaiser Soze.
Posted by: Lester Burnham | June 14, 2004 07:01 PM
STOP THAT THE THREE OF YOU ALL!
YOU ARE NOT BUCKY DENT
(we have him safely ensconced in minor ball Hell.)
Posted by: TC-LeatherPenguin | June 14, 2004 07:32 PM
Pikers!
My name is legion.
And it's bloody exhausting trying to update 80 blogs every day.
Posted by: Pixy Misa | June 14, 2004 07:32 PM
I am the very model of a modern major general.
Posted by: Big Brother | June 14, 2004 07:39 PM
Pixey? Meet 'Rojo' who has a standing with the cops...who hate me because I keep popping caps...
"Come To Staten Island"
"I'll Shack You In My House!"
okay...lost all care...
Posted by: TC-LeatherPenguin | June 14, 2004 07:40 PM
Call me Mister Tibbs.
Or, if you'd rather, call me Ishmael.
Posted by: Belize042 | June 14, 2004 07:43 PM
first bullet gets a plane ticket
Posted by: TC-LeatherPenguin | June 14, 2004 07:48 PM
um.... looks like there might be a problem with Micah's forum... I'm getting an error page (is he doing his emily latella moment?)
Anyone else having the same thing?
Posted by: Darleen | June 14, 2004 07:59 PM
Darleen -
You may have been banned.
Posted by: Kevin Parrott | June 14, 2004 08:05 PM
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
Posted by: Andrea Harris | June 14, 2004 08:14 PM
Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is Finkle! Finkle is a man! - Ace Ventura...
Posted by: Mahmoud, the Weasel | June 14, 2004 08:16 PM
I'm Batman. Or at least this fellow seems to think I am. ;-)
Posted by: Ed Driscoll | June 14, 2004 08:22 PM
I am the duly appointed Sheriff of Rock Ridge.
Posted by: Dave in Texas | June 14, 2004 08:25 PM
I'm Brian of Nazareth. And so is my wife.
What are the odds that every commenter on this thread is the same person? Micah, can you clarify this?
Posted by: SpinyNorman | June 14, 2004 08:26 PM
I'm Mrs. Calabash
(and boy is Mr Calabash gonna be pissed..)
Posted by: Chris B | June 14, 2004 08:29 PM
I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV.
Posted by: Lesley | June 14, 2004 08:47 PM
I'm my own grandpa.
Posted by: essee | June 14, 2004 09:00 PM
Holy crap. I thought I knew who I was, but then you guys (or maybe just guy) have got me to start thinking I might not be me, but just another one of you.
So, when Kevin posts on Treacher's site, is it a similar experience as when John Malkovitch went inside his own head in that weird movie?
Posted by: Marble | June 14, 2004 09:11 PM
Man, I hardly ever post on my OWN site anymore.
I don't know about crawling into my own head, but I have been accused of putting my head up my own ass before - does that count?
Posted by: Kevin Parrott | June 14, 2004 09:20 PM
I am Homer of Borg and you will be assimil.... oooh, doughnuts...
Posted by: Ralph Gizzip | June 14, 2004 09:20 PM
I am Tiger Woods.
Posted by: Rob M | June 14, 2004 09:23 PM
You sure? That blacklist post looks like it cracked 5,000 words. I had to use the mouse wheel!
Posted by: Allah | June 14, 2004 09:26 PM
I am Dislexia of Borg. Resistors are fertile. Your ass will be laminated!
Posted by: Ed Driscoll | June 14, 2004 09:28 PM
I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!
(This is quickly becoming my favorite thread ever)
Posted by: michele | June 14, 2004 09:51 PM
I am Atrios!
Posted by: Mark | June 14, 2004 09:54 PM
I am that I am.
<angry rumble of thunder>
All of you, out of My universe, NOW!
Posted by: McGehee | June 14, 2004 09:54 PM
Damnit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a blogger!
Posted by: Ith | June 14, 2004 09:58 PM
I'm Idaho!
Posted by: CD | June 14, 2004 10:07 PM
I, bitch, am Rick James.
Posted by: Allah | June 14, 2004 10:12 PM
And here I thought Michele was Ma Bell.
Posted by: Trish | June 14, 2004 10:13 PM
I've had CD. And he is Idaho. My own private Idaho, at that.
Posted by: Jeff G | June 14, 2004 10:13 PM
I'm your worst nightmare. No, wait, I'm ADRIENNE!
Posted by: Eddie | June 14, 2004 10:20 PM
I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski
Posted by: mary | June 14, 2004 10:24 PM
No, I'm Spartac.us.
Posted by: Brian O'Connell | June 14, 2004 10:30 PM
Also:
I am the god of hellfire!
Posted by: Brian O'Connell | June 14, 2004 10:35 PM
Hi god of hellfire.
Posted by: Big Brother | June 14, 2004 10:36 PM
I am the terror that flaps in the night!
Posted by: Big Brother | June 14, 2004 10:39 PM
I AM THE LAW!
Posted by: Big Brother | June 14, 2004 10:40 PM
I am the entertainer
And I know just where I stand
Another serenader
And another long-haired band
Posted by: Dave in Texas | June 14, 2004 10:42 PM
I am not an animal. I am a human being.
Posted by: Brian O'Connell | June 14, 2004 10:47 PM
I am Oprah. And also Uma. I am Uma Oprah.
Posted by: Belize042 | June 14, 2004 10:53 PM
I am a professor of modern literature at an Ivy league university. I may or may not be an artificial construct, predicated upon an extraneous meta-narrative.
I would say I was Michele, but I don't have a nice, firm pair.
Posted by: rod | June 14, 2004 11:06 PM
Hi Darleen!
Wow, you can really multitask!
That reminds me! I am not only Lileks, but also Darleen's sweet baby Jaysus on a (spotted) pony.
Posted by: SarahW | June 14, 2004 11:06 PM
I am strong, I am invincible, I am woooommmaaaannn.
Posted by: Darleen | June 14, 2004 11:09 PM
BTW... looks like Micah might be hiding
can anyone access
http://forums.delphiforums.com/micahwright
???
Posted by: Darleen | June 14, 2004 11:10 PM
How about: I am not a number! I'm a free man!
Posted by: lpdbw | June 14, 2004 11:10 PM
I am "I said" (But not even the chair heard me; which makes sense 'cus the chair is an inanimate object without the capabilities of receiving auditory signals)
Posted by: JFH | June 14, 2004 11:11 PM
Anyone notice how this morphing into an identiy thread plays directly back to SdB's prior posts?
It's like some giant feedback loop. denBeste writes about "What is identity?", then some loser sends him a deadfall, he steps around it, posts about it, links to Michelle, and the comments devolve into (ok, not very serious) identity issues.
Posted by: lpdbw | June 14, 2004 11:15 PM
Fools! This whole thread is fluff to throw you off the scent of the real mystery. What happened to the real Michele?
HELLO - New house, suburbs, little league baseball all-stars, things are a little too...perfect, no? Sounds a bit like a Nicole Kidman/Matthew Brodrick flick in theaters now.
That fact that Allah went on break about the same time and Glenn Reynolds dropped off the face of the earth last week is not coincidence. Someone is secretly replacing your favorite bloggers with robot replicas, and he needs more cowbell...
Posted by: Kevin | June 14, 2004 11:17 PM
My name is Michael Caine.
Posted by: Michael Caine | June 14, 2004 11:18 PM
I am Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.
Posted by: Timothy Lang | June 14, 2004 11:20 PM
I am Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius.
Posted by: Belize042 | June 14, 2004 11:24 PM
I'm a chickenhawk, and you're my victim.
Posted by: Darleen | June 14, 2004 11:27 PM
I am, and this is my faithful servant, Patsy.
lpdbw - Who are you? The New Number 2. Who is Number 1?
Posted by: Major John | June 14, 2004 11:29 PM
I am Sam. Sam I am.
Posted by: Dave in Texas | June 14, 2004 11:37 PM
Open channel 2.
Posted by: Darleen | June 14, 2004 11:40 PM
I'm Kilroy! Kilroy! Killroy!
Posted by: Vexorg | June 14, 2004 11:55 PM
I am not a warblogger
Posted by: SarahW | June 15, 2004 12:03 AM
I'm Wayne Brady, bitch!
Posted by: Sean M. | June 15, 2004 12:03 AM
I am Susan Ivanova. Commander. Daughter of Andre and Sophie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance and the boot that is going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart. I am death incarnate, and the last living thing that you are ever going to see. God sent me.
Posted by: Erbo | June 15, 2004 12:38 AM
I am not a pony. I just ride one from time to time.
Posted by: Jaysus | June 15, 2004 12:40 AM
Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine with all the chicks?
Posted by: Sean M. | June 15, 2004 12:44 AM
I am Malcolm X.
Posted by: Papertiger | June 15, 2004 01:25 AM
Ok Im not, but Osama suggested my name.
Posted by: Papertiger | June 15, 2004 01:26 AM
I'm a little teapot, short and stout...
Posted by: Eric Pobirs | June 15, 2004 01:53 AM
Or am I the very model of a modern Major-General?
Posted by: Eric Pobirs | June 15, 2004 01:54 AM
I AM
(surpisingly sober at this point in the clock's cycle)
Ms. Ivanavo's lackey.
SWING IT, YOU B-5 BABY!
Posted by: TC-LeatherPenguin | June 15, 2004 02:04 AM
There are Nine of us,
yet we post on blogs as one,
and at least one of us
thinks he is mildly insane.
sssSo this brings us to the
real question.
Which one of you is really
BAGGINSSSS?
Posted by: Dark Riders | June 15, 2004 03:00 AM
I am the greatest.
Posted by: Mohammed Ali | June 15, 2004 08:14 AM
My name is Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father.
Prepare to die.
Posted by: Rob @ L&R | June 15, 2004 08:31 AM
I am the All-Being, Master of Time, Space, and Dimension.
Failing that, I'd like to be Bill Whittle.
Posted by: ubu | June 15, 2004 09:07 AM
Bond. James Bond.
Posted by: James Bond | June 15, 2004 09:22 AM
Cogito ergo sum.
Posted by: R. Decartes | June 15, 2004 09:25 AM
You must be old and retired. With all the excellent posts you make on that many blogs, you just don't have time for a full time job.
Posted by: Geoffrey | June 15, 2004 09:27 AM
I am Iron Man.
Posted by: Brass | June 15, 2004 09:51 AM
I am I, Don Quixote, the Lord of La Mancha. My destiny calls and I go.
Posted by: charles austin | June 15, 2004 10:08 AM
Q: Do you know who I am?
A: John Kerry in a few years doing an American Express commercial.
Posted by: charles austin | June 15, 2004 10:09 AM
Michele, I am your father.
Posted by: charles austin | June 15, 2004 10:10 AM
I guess some people just have way too much time on their hands.
/chimes in late as usual
Posted by: Hondo | June 15, 2004 10:14 AM
I am ... late for my next blog post.
Posted by: charles austin | June 15, 2004 10:15 AM
"We are all individuals."
"I'm not."
Posted by: charles austin | June 15, 2004 10:16 AM
Shh!
Posted by: Patrick Chester | June 15, 2004 10:34 AM
I am myself, my mother, my father, my son, and my grandfather. I wear a ring of the Worm Orouboros. (Anyone else remember this story?)
Posted by: Philip | June 15, 2004 10:35 AM
I am Micah Wright's conscience. Another pińa colada, Juan, and a little more sunscreen on the shoulders.
Posted by: insomni | June 15, 2004 10:49 AM
I am the wind. Call me Mariah.
I am hot air. Call me Micah.
Posted by: Belize042 | June 15, 2004 10:54 AM
I am not a crook.
Nor am I the head of Richard Nixon.
Posted by: MKH | June 15, 2004 11:03 AM
I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
Posted by: Bart Simpson | June 15, 2004 11:06 AM
Call me Ishmael
Posted by: Phil | June 15, 2004 11:06 AM
My name is Luka. I live on the second floor.
Posted by: Luka | June 15, 2004 11:09 AM
I used to be Robert Prather, but now I'm DB Cooper on my own bandwidth.
Posted by: Emily | June 15, 2004 11:13 AM
I yam what I yam.
Posted by: P. T. Sailorman | June 15, 2004 11:15 AM
I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
Posted by: J. Rabbit | June 15, 2004 11:16 AM
It hurts to think
Therefore
Am I ?
Posted by: Serendipshity | June 15, 2004 11:17 AM
Pleeese...I am Ugoff!
Ugoff for Vice President! Write to Kerry!
Posted by: Mahatma | June 15, 2004 11:41 AM
Ich bin ein Berliner.
Posted by: J. F. Kennedy (dec'd) | June 15, 2004 11:48 AM
nhnhhhnhnhhnn.... berliner.
Posted by: Homer | June 15, 2004 11:49 AM
No, I'm Spartacus!
Posted by: A Steve | June 15, 2004 11:54 AM
I was a ranger in the late 1980's, just ask my main man Micah.
And when I was two I solved the Suez crisis. Just ask me.
Currently I am a bridge salesman in NYC.
Posted by: David | June 15, 2004 12:07 PM
I'm big Dick Black.
Before anyone cries "Racist!" try to remember that movie with George C. Scott.
Posted by: JR | June 15, 2004 01:32 PM
Hardcore. "I'm Big Dick Black! I can come 10 times a day!"
Anyway, now Micah Wright says he was just kidding. It really seemed like he was just kidding, didn't it?
Posted by: Jim Treacher | June 15, 2004 01:34 PM
Wait, you mean, no you couldn't be,
do you really mean that Micah Wright
wasn't kidding the whole time!!??!
Like, he was actually being SERIOUS
in there somewhere. Do you think he
will be nice enough to specify just
where he was really being serious?
Please!!! We need to know the truth.
Else the suspense is liable to kill us.:)
Posted by: Dark Riders | June 15, 2004 01:54 PM
Get this: I am MY OWN WIFE!
Posted by: SMASH | June 15, 2004 01:55 PM
Micah Wright should simply impose upon himself a vow of silence.
In order to shield himself from consequences, he is deliberately confusing the lies hastily erected to escape consequnces with lies deliberately designed for advancement. He even lies about these lies when he's confronted with clear evidence of his fraud by journalists. He's obviously baffled by the outrage this has generated; it's equally obvious that he doesn't equate his career success and his ability to advance his political views with his skill at lying. Yet that's the very thing that throws the rest of his works into disrepute. Worse, he undoubtedly knows the difference between the two types of lies, and so probably lies to himself that he doesn't know.
As a group, it's my opinion that humanity can deal better with lying to escape punishment -- which we all do or have done -- with lying for advancement. Discuss amongst yourselves.
What makes M. Wright so gratingly unbearable even to read is when he tirelessly defends his actions and explains in his patient, schoolmarmish, and decidedly unrepentant prose about how truthful and forthright he is now. You long for at least a bitter Pete Rose mea culpa, or at least a smarmy apologia like Clinton's or Hugh Grant's.
We should no longer be shocked or suprised by his inability to admit any kind of truth outside the "truth" that he himself concocts. He is borderline ill, in my decidedly un-medical opinion, and should be ostracized until he can come to some reckoning with himself.
He is, in fact, lost in the realm of metaphor, where "like" is identical to "is." If that sounds confusing, I'll explain further.
To kill time at work one day, I created a little game where I would enter a word, usually an adjective, and use Microsoft Word's thesaurus to generate its antithesis. The implications of this game are obvious: with enough rhetorical skill, it's frightently easy to turn "black" into "white." All you need is patience and relentlessness and an ability to push buttons, so to speak.
Micah can "push buttons" as if they were affixed to our foreheads, and his pride at this skill is unbecoming.
This is why I like Den Beste. I profoundly am not an engineer -- in fact, I was failed by my engineering fundmentals teacher with enough force to painfully shatter a good many academic illusions about myself. Nonetheless, I prize Den Beste as a member of a profession that systematically cannot afford either deceptions or illusions. If the same rigor found in engineering were to be applied to the humanities and to writing, the higher education system wouldn't be so much of a grand flimflam show.
We would also be spared the presence of so many Micahs.
Posted by: hilly | June 15, 2004 01:57 PM
I apologize in advance for bloating the comments section.
Posted by: hilly | June 15, 2004 01:58 PM
"What is a 'Danny Thomas'" - Kolak
Posted by: chuck c | June 15, 2004 02:02 PM
Hmm. Something fishy going on around here...
Posted by: willow | June 15, 2004 02:18 PM
I'm Chevy Chase...
And you're not.
Posted by: Fletch | June 15, 2004 02:31 PM
No, I'm Don Francisco's sister.
Posted by: Boris Grushenko | June 15, 2004 02:54 PM
What fun! Let me try:
Write was in the Rangers. He was on a secret mission that cannot be disclosed to this day. Unfortunately, one reason it cannot be disclosed is because patriot Write was captured and recieved the North Korean treatment. Write has been lost to us ever since.
Posted by: aaron | June 15, 2004 03:10 PM
ROFLMAO
Looks like Micah Wright has gone around the bend in paranoia... I'm now Michele.
I'm now bi-coastal! Thanks, Micah, I just had my 50th birthday, now I can be younger as Michele.
Posted by: Darleen | June 15, 2004 03:58 PM
I'm-a da Pope!
Posted by: Acksiom | June 15, 2004 04:26 PM
Darleen, I'm speechless.
Posted by: SarahW | June 15, 2004 04:28 PM
I went, I looked, I was amazed.
Darleen busted.
Posted by: SarahW | June 15, 2004 04:34 PM
Which thread was that in? I clicked on that first link, but it went to a thread on Heidi Macdonald's forum.
Posted by: Jim Treacher | June 15, 2004 04:39 PM
Since I'm online,
here is a link that will take you right to Micah's revelation.
Posted by: SarahW | June 15, 2004 04:55 PM
Oh lord. When Micah picks up a shovel, he has no idea when to stop digging.
Posted by: michele | June 15, 2004 05:00 PM
Having the good fortune to get here a day too late, it occurs to me to observe:
This thread, which, if it occurred elsewhere, could have degenerated into a bash-fake-Rangers-fest, became a collection of wit that is the reason I'm now wiping up coffee from my desk.
Posted by: Patton | June 15, 2004 05:15 PM
I am a caged hamster. I am John Kerry.
http://arguewithsigns.net/mt/archives/001845.html
Posted by: bryan | June 15, 2004 05:18 PM
For the sake of completeness:
I am Superman, and I know what's happening.
Posted by: Joe | June 15, 2004 05:20 PM
I came, I saw...nevermind.
Posted by: JR | June 15, 2004 05:29 PM
I'm a picker, I'm a grinner, I'm a lover, and I'm a sinner, playin' my music in the sun. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker, sure don't want to hurt no one."
Posted by: McGehee | June 15, 2004 05:46 PM
Hamlet, I am thy father's ghost.
Posted by: Sean M. | June 15, 2004 06:05 PM
Hey! If Darleen can be Michele, then I can be Micah!
Time to go register on some new bulletin boards :)
Posted by: Micah Wright | June 15, 2004 06:18 PM
I'm The Dude!
Posted by: N. O'Brain | June 15, 2004 06:26 PM
Ever get the feeling you fell into the movie "Zorro The Gay Blade"?
Posted by: Ith | June 15, 2004 06:30 PM
I'm my own grandpa!
I'm my own grandpa!
It sounds funny, I know
But it really is so,
I'm my own grandpa!
Posted by: hillbilly joe | June 15, 2004 06:45 PM
I am Group Captain Lionel Mandrake of the R.A.F.
I'd be Josey Wales.
Posted by: Belize042 | June 15, 2004 06:50 PM
You're too shy, shy, hush, hush, I to I.
Posted by: charles austin | June 15, 2004 06:50 PM
Third I
Posted by: charles austin | June 15, 2004 06:52 PM
I can't drive 55.
Posted by: charles austin | June 15, 2004 06:53 PM
I am Damacles! No, I am Hamacles! I. AM. HAMACLEEEES!
Who is Number One?
Posted by: htom | June 15, 2004 06:54 PM
Get yourself a genuine Red Ryder 200-shot carbine action air rifle BB gun. But be careful, you can put your I out.
Posted by: charles austin | June 15, 2004 06:55 PM
"Who am I? What am I doing here?" -- Admiral James Stockdale
Posted by: charles austin | June 15, 2004 06:57 PM
Me Tarzan, you Jane.
Posted by: charles austin | June 15, 2004 06:58 PM
Holy crap, nobody did this one yet:
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay! I sleep all night and I work all day!
And I'm still Idaho.
Posted by: CD | June 15, 2004 07:03 PM
Micah just shows that some people are genuinely incapable of just dying from embarrassment. Which is a damned shame.
Oh, and for the record, I am Allah ... I mean, he disappears, my blog starts, we both enjoy funny Al Gore photos ... do the math, people.
I'd also like to be Urthshu ... and the Chairman ... and either one of the Esmays ... and maybe Flea, who is obviously Sheila A-Stray who is, as everyone knows, Michelle ...
Posted by: Jheka | June 15, 2004 07:05 PM
I'm sooooo tired
I haven't slept a wink;
I'm soooo tired
My mind is on the brink;
I wonder should I get up
And fix myself a drink
Nononoooo...
Posted by: I Was John Lennon | June 15, 2004 07:13 PM
Don't listen to those impostors! I am Spartacus!
Posted by: Joe | June 15, 2004 07:20 PM
My name is Shake-Zula, the mic rulah, the old schoolah, you wanna trip, I'll break it to ya.
Posted by: Aquateen | June 15, 2004 07:52 PM
Hi. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self help tapes as 'Smoke yourself thin' and 'Get some confidence, Stupid!'
Posted by: Troy121 | June 15, 2004 08:01 PM
Words To Blog By from Alexander ("As of now, I am in control here in the White House") Haig:
That's not a lie, it's a terminological inexactitude.
Posted by: Trish | June 15, 2004 08:31 PM
I'm number one in the hood, G.
Posted by: michele | June 15, 2004 08:33 PM
I am Don Quickorder, the Cook of La Mancha!
Posted by: Dave in Texas | June 15, 2004 08:58 PM
Anybody know the record for most comments on a single blog entry? Can we break it?
Oh, and I think I'm still me, at least my dog hasn't bit me for a stranger.
Posted by: Peter | June 15, 2004 09:06 PM
There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man in a forum over there
Telling me I got to beware
Posted by: Darleen | June 15, 2004 09:08 PM
I'm a cop, you idiot! I'm Detective John Kimball!
Posted by: CD | June 15, 2004 09:10 PM
I'm a Pepper. He's a pepper. She's a pepper. We're a pepper. Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?
Posted by: Trish | June 15, 2004 09:20 PM
I am the man who will fight for your honor...
Posted by: Sean M. | June 15, 2004 09:21 PM
Who am I?
Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy... the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical... summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds... pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
Posted by: Headzero | June 15, 2004 09:22 PM
I'm a ma-a-an
With a penis
Machines work for me-e-e-e
Posted by: skillzy | June 15, 2004 09:24 PM
We are all Ron. *
[FWIW, I'm NOT Ron; I just couldn't resist the rec.games.frp.dnd in-joke.]
Posted by: Werebat | June 15, 2004 09:28 PM
"Who does this guy think he is?"
"I'm Keith Hernandez!"
Posted by: Robio | June 15, 2004 09:29 PM
Riiight. I'm a licensed Psychotherapist, line forms to the right. No Pushing, No Shoving and remember our policy - three or more personalities qualifies you for a group discount!
Posted by: Nothus | June 15, 2004 09:31 PM
Call me Fishmeal.
Some years ago - never mind how long precisely- having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me online, except for calling Bush a Nazi, I thought I would call myself a Ranger, and claim that I had seen combat in Panama. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation.
Posted by: Jason | June 15, 2004 09:33 PM
I am Fitter, happier, more productive, comfortable,not drinking too much,regular exercise at the gym 3 days a week),getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries,at ease,eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats), a patient better driver,a safer car(baby smiling in back seat),sleeping well(no bad dreams),no paranoia,careful to all animals(never washing spiders down the plughole), keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then), will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in the wall),favors for favors,fond but not in love, charity standing orders, on Sundays ring road supermarket (no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),car wash (also on Sundays),no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,nothing so childish - at a better pace, slower and more calculated,no chance of escape,now self-employed,concerned (but powerless),an empowered and informed member of society (pragmatism not idealism),will not cry in public,less chance of illness,tires that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in back seat), a good memory, still cries at a good film, still kisses with saliva,no longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick,that's driven into frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness), calm,fitter,healthier and more productive a pig in a cage on antibiotics.
Posted by: michele | June 15, 2004 09:34 PM
I am a scorched earth tank.
When I have a mission, it consumes me; I will not be satisfied until the job is done. I have a strong sense of duty, and a strong sense of direction. Changes in the tide don't phase me - I always know which way the wind blows, and I know how to compensate for it. I get on poorly with people like myself. What Video Game Character Are You?
Posted by: michele | June 15, 2004 09:43 PM
I'm just a caveman...
Posted by: Sean M. | June 15, 2004 09:48 PM
At ease!
I thought I would stand up here, and let you people see if I am as big of a son-of-bitch as some of you think I am.
Posted by: Dave in Texas | June 15, 2004 09:54 PM
I've got it bad,
I've got it bad,
I've got it baaaaad,
I'm hot for Treacher. . . .
Posted by: Diamond Dave | June 15, 2004 10:09 PM
I-ee-yiii will alllllllwayyyyyys love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Posted by: McGehee | June 15, 2004 10:21 PM
I am a human!
I'm a god damn human being!
I can wipe my ass!
Posted by: MRN | June 15, 2004 10:24 PM
I'm an ape man,
I'm an ape, ape man
I'm an ape man.
Posted by: Slartibartfast | June 15, 2004 10:25 PM
I'm Peggy Lee....Zorba.
Peggy Lee Zorba.
Posted by: I.M. Fletcher | June 15, 2004 10:26 PM
OhmiGOD it's Russell Crowe's agent's brother's girlfriend's sister!
Omihyeahd eets neeeee nyaahh nyeee nhyah~
F@$# off, whores, or I'll bite a chunk out of the bouncer's neck.
WHo do you think your are talking to?
Posted by: Russel Crowe's agent's brother's girlfriend's sister | June 15, 2004 10:26 PM
Ed Harley
Igor Stravinsky here.
Posted by: Jane Doe | June 15, 2004 10:26 PM
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil.
'Cause I'm the meanest motherfucker in the valley.
Posted by: MRN | June 15, 2004 10:28 PM
WHo do you think your are talking to?
:: in drunken stupor, throwing dinner plates about::
Posted by: Russell Crowe's agent's brother's girlfriend's sister | June 15, 2004 10:28 PM
I am the eye in the sky, looking at you-oo-oo. I can read your mind.
I am the maker of rules, dealing with foo-oo-oools. I can cheat you blind.
Posted by: Eddie | June 15, 2004 10:45 PM
Who I am? "Who I am?" "Who am I?" "Who am I?" is a question for the ages. That's one we're all searching for, to find out Who I am. Who's in there, who wants to come out and go..."Hey, I'm hungry." Who I am ... is too deep ... and you gotta go in deep and pull out the thing, like with that movie where the thing came out of the stomach and ate up the people on the fuckin' spaceship. May they rest in peace. My name is Ben Sobel. Leone. Ben Sobeleone. I'm also known as Benny the Groin, Sammy the Schnoz, Elmer the Fudd, Tubby the Tuba, and once as Miss Phyllis Levine, but that was at a party. It was years ago. I smoked a little bit, and I had a 'lude and suddenly I'm in fishnets and singin' show tunes. These things happen, but it has nothing to do with what I'm here with you fine gentlemen today. So I apologize. That being said, I am also known to the people who know me the best as the fuckin' "Doctor". The second part of your question that you axed me is "Why am I here?" I am here representing Mr. Paul Vitti as his consigliliere -
Jelly whispers "Consigliere."
Never correct me in public again. Do you understand that? You broke my heart, Jelly. You broke my heart. I apologize for the second interruption. As Mr. Vitti's...consigliere, I am intimately involved in all aspects of the Vitti family business, and I'm prepared to speak for Mr. Vitti on all matters.
Badda bing, badda boom, Betty Boop.
Posted by: Trish | June 15, 2004 10:47 PM
It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy.
'Cause every now and then I kick the livin' shit outa me.
Posted by: Eddie | June 15, 2004 10:51 PM
I'm your only friend I'm not your only friend but I'm a little glowing friend but really I'm not actually your friend but I am...
Posted by: Eddie | June 15, 2004 11:01 PM
I was born to love you
I was boooorn to lick your face
I was born to rub you
But you were born to rub me first
Posted by: Rob M | June 15, 2004 11:01 PM
I am an anti-christ!
I am an anarchist!
Posted by: Sean M. | June 15, 2004 11:11 PM
I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection.
Posted by: Sean M. | June 15, 2004 11:22 PM
I am still dead.
Posted by: Generalisimo Francisco Franco | June 15, 2004 11:34 PM
I am not a number! I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered! My life is my own.
Posted by: 6 | June 15, 2004 11:39 PM
you guys kill me.
ok, ahem. same dude. three different quotes.
"I am a Marxist, and have been studying socialist principles for well over 15 months. I am very interested in your YPSL".
"I am just a patsy".
"ow".
Posted by: Dave in Texas | June 15, 2004 11:46 PM
I am OZ! The all-powerful, the all-mighty, the...never mind that man behind the curtain.
Posted by: Belize042 | June 16, 2004 12:18 AM
I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does.
Posted by: Sean M. | June 16, 2004 01:01 AM
I just want to be loved, is that so WOOOOONG?
/channeling Harvey Fierstein
Posted by: cheshirecat | June 16, 2004 01:09 AM
i am micah wright.
hah!
Posted by: fluke_boy | June 16, 2004 02:39 AM
I am formica, right?
Posted by: Your bathroom countertop | June 16, 2004 03:07 AM
If I pretend to be Wright, does that make me wrong?
Is it wrong to be Wright?
Posted by: Papertiger | June 16, 2004 04:32 AM
It's hip to be square
Posted by: Papertiger | June 16, 2004 04:35 AM
I am Milli
Posted by: Papertiger | June 16, 2004 04:35 AM
and I an Vanilli
Posted by: Papertiger | June 16, 2004 04:36 AM
together I am Milli Vanilli , but that doesn't make me Wright.
Posted by: Papertiger + Papertiger | June 16, 2004 04:38 AM
If lovin' you is wrong,
I don't wanna be Wright.
(Although I'm not really Barbara Mandrell.)
Posted by: Mickey | June 16, 2004 05:11 AM
Me and Paperkitten had a heart to heart with the Lord (Glen Reynolds was busy,
Wouldn't return my call, so I had to turn to someone.)
He said to err is human and to forgive is devine.
This thing is getting as big as a Detroit Piston's victory riot,
but the name of the blog is a small victory.
Before it goes any further,
I think we need to face some cold realities here.
People will forgive you, Micah, but they won't forget.
Micah , Boobalah, dear friend, may I make a suggestion?
It is time for an identity make over. Your old persona is tainted.
Time to slither free, and cast it away.
You need a new name.
How does Micah Wrong grab you?
Too obvious?
Lets ask the rest of the legionares.
I leave it up to you, dear friends of a small victory.
Could we get a little mercy from this creative bunch?
Micah Wright's name is mud. He need a new and improved screen identity.
Can we devote the rest of this bandwith
to finding Micah a new name so he can go
back to blogging incognito?
All suggestions will be apreciated.
Posted by: Papertiger + Papertiger | June 16, 2004 05:15 AM
This thread is about to get closed. I think it jumped the shark when someone quoted Alan Parsons Project lyrics.
Posted by: michele | June 16, 2004 05:41 AM
"Is that you Micah Wright? Is this me?"
"Uh-mow mow, poppa oo-mow mow..."
Posted by: Mike James | June 16, 2004 06:12 AM
Lend me some sugar,
I am your neighbor!
Posted by: Speakerboxxx & The Love Below | June 16, 2004 06:43 AM
I'm 'Enery the Eighth, I am!
Posted by: Rob @ L&R | June 16, 2004 06:48 AM
Micah Wright's name is mud.
And Treacher's name is apparently "munt."
Posted by: Sean M. | June 16, 2004 06:48 AM
I am a cop and you will respect my authority!!!
Posted by: Elephant Man er, no I'm Eric Cartman | June 16, 2004 08:06 AM
Don't shoot! I'm Dr. Ted Nelson!!!
(blam)
Posted by: Big Brother | June 16, 2004 08:21 AM
I'm funny? Funny how? Like a clown? I amuse you?
Posted by: JR | June 16, 2004 08:30 AM
Who am I?
Can I condemn this man to slavery?
Pretend I do not see his agony?
This innocent who bears my face, who goes to judgment in my place
Who am I?
Can I conceal myself for evermore?
Pretend I'm not the man I was before?
And must my name until I die be no more than an alibi?
Must I lie?
How can I ever face my fellow men?
How can I ever face myself again?
My soul belongs to God I know, I made that bargain long ago.
He gave me hope when hope was gone,
He gave me strength to journey on.
Who am I?
Who am I?
I'm Jean Valjean!
Posted by: Prisoner #24601 | June 16, 2004 08:44 AM
Back off man. I'm a scientist.
Posted by: Rob @ L&R | June 16, 2004 09:05 AM