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Name That Plant!

A while ago I posted about the landscaping that came with the new house. I still don't know what that "long, twisty tree-type plant" is, but now that I'm finally able to upload my photos to the computer, I just know that one of you will be able to solve our mystery (we are not green-thumb type people, though we are quickly becoming so). [click for really big size] So, any ideas? Side story: We've gotten a lot of mail, phone calls and people knocking at the door trying to sell us everything from bottled water to life insurance since we moved in. The real estate agencies must put out a red alert to every business within five miles when the sell a house. The day after we moved in, a guy knocked on the door. He was the salesman for the oil company the previous owners used. I told him we would be using the same oil company we did in our previous house, thankyouverymuch. Well, he knocked on the door again today. Oil guy: Hello ma'm, I was last week. Told you I'd come back to discuss the oil with you. Have you made a decision? Me: Yes, the same decision I made last week. We already signed on with our previous oil company. Oil guy: And what company is that? (He was sounding very agitated here) Me: It's my friend's company? Oil Guy: I said what company? Me: XYZ Oil. Oil Guy: Oh, how much are they charging you? Me: Excuse me? (In my world, that is not a very polite question) Oil Guy: How much do you pay those guys? How much a gallon? (In my face now) Me: I don't think I have to tell you that. Oil Guy: Well, you still have some of our oil left here, you know! (Yes, and it's fully paid for by the previous owners). Me: And? Oil Guy: We...we can take it back! Me: You want a hose so you can siphon it out with your mouth? Oil Guy: ..... I'm telling, you I have had enough of rude salesman. The guy that came to give us an estimate on the bathroom was given the same treatment after I had to listen to just ten minutes of his condescending "but you're just the woman, what do you know about money" crap. Anyhow, the tree/plant. Anyone?


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» ...of salesmen from Inoperable Terran
Michele is moving into a new house she and her husband just bought, and is getting attacked by pushy salespeople. But at least one won't be coming back. Heh!... [Read More]


Ooh! No idea, but it's neat. At a guess I'd say it's either one of those ornamental Japanese trees -- maybe a spruce or cypress of some sort.

(Five seconds later) I was right. It's a picea glauca 'Pendula' -- a Weeping White Spruce, or I'll eat my hat. (I have one, a straw one I bought at Pier 1 Imports).

Yep...that's a pruned weeping White Spruce...can't wait to see what you do with next Halloween.

Ooh! i know this...what is "cut it down" for a dollar and be done with it," Alex?

I'll bet you are one of those people who cement their entire front yard.

That's....not a plant. It's looking at me. Make it stop!

Sorry, what was the question?

I'm always tempted to tell telephone salesmen, "Yes, that sounds very interesting, but I am going to be used as a human sacrifice to his satanic majesty at the black mass tonight, so I won't be able to use your offer. Thank you very much anyway."

It doesn't matter what it is. When it activates the fight or flight reflex it's got to go.

Sorta looks like a Weeping Blue Atlas Cedar ... sorta.

Click me for a description & picture

I'm not sure what it is, but if your community theater ever does a revival of "Little Shop of Horrors," it's a shoo-in for Audrey II.

I don't know about the plant but DJ's louisille slugger can help with the pushy salesmen. :)

"You're more than welcome to have it all back. Just lie still on the front lawn while we pour it on you and I toss you a match."

Looks to me like a Weeping Cherry, perhaps a minature. I can't see in the photos whether it has needles or leaves. Did it flower this spring?

If it is not a minature variety you should move it away from the house as it will eventually get too big for that space.

For more info go here: http://www.naturehills.com/new/product/productdetails.aspx?proname=Weeping+Cherry

The plant is called a weeping larch (Larix Pendula something...), it's a deciduous conifer (loses its needle-like leaves in the fall). I can't believe the grueling hours working at the plant nursery during my high school/early college years actually comes in handy.

It's a bloody triffid. Beware!!!

Oh my God! It's a Triffid!!!!!

DO NOT click the link in the above post. Spammers hughjacked it. Sorry.

Here's a better non-spammed Triffid link.

As for the tree: well, we are all pretty sure that whatever it is, it's weeping. Are there any plant psychologists in the house?

Hmm, now that Andrea told us what it is, would it be useful for whipping/beating asshole salesmen? Or salesmen pushing other products, for that matter?

I can't tell for sure from the picture but I would guess weeping larch from the shape of the needles and the general growth form. (If the needles turn bright yellow and fall off this coming November, then you know it's a larch).

maybe you could say to the salesmen, "Crummy door-to-door peddlers make my tree cry! Look at it! Look at what you did!"

that would probably make them run away.

although, I have to admit, I love the "want a hose to mouth-siphon it with" line.

(I also find, if you want to be a bit more polite, asking for their name and their manager/supervisor's name and phone number sometimes gets people to change their tactics. Although maybe, the supervisor in this company actually told his salesmen to act like that...)

Just remember, Michelle, you now have a backyard that can be fertilized by sales weasels (before or after wood-chipperization). Grrrrr!

You know, when you first posted a picture of your house, I noticed that tree (though I thought it was a vine). To the left of it are, if I saw correctly, little conifers which have been carved into drill bit shapes. I thought, "This house has a strangling vine and living drills that will leap up and pierce the unwary. What a perfect house for Michele!"

Yep, I'm pretty sure it's that spore thing from Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Ask the oil salesman to take a close up look-see..

I doubt it's your real estate agent that put the word out to all the salespeople. More likely they all just check the public records down at your local clerk of court's office (or wherever records are kept in your town) every day to see when a house sells. Depending on where you live and how technologically advanced your government is, they may be able to get public records online.

and as for that plant-- looks like something Dali would do to a Christmas tree.

Reginald, "Reggy" for short.

I believe what you've got there is a Giant Hogweed.

Your best bet is to listen to dress up in a series of increasingly complex and silly costumes, them leave your band when your ego is bigger than your audiences.

Yes, it is a weeping Larch that has been deformed to make it look the way it does. I am also a former plant nursery worker, best job I ever had, and the deformed conifers always give me the creeps, akin to binding women's feet...
They are supposed to be used as focal point specimens and is quite inappropriate sited next to your foundation. Best time to move it and the Japanese Maple would be mid fall.

That is truly a beautiful tree and exactly the one I'm looking for for the front yard of my new house. First time home owner.

I also loved the way you dealt with the oil guy.

I've been on the search for a particular tree and I don't think this is a larch - most of the larches are a brighter green and yes they do loose their leaves in the winter.