« moving forward | Main | Spirit of America »

By the Power of Black & Decker!

I have a great view of the sunrise from the room that some how, some way, will turn into an office today. As I sat there drinking my coffee and watching the sky turn colors, I took a deep breath and vowed to savor the moment so everything else that has gone horribly, horribly wrong will pale in comparison to being able to spend my mornings staring into the sun. Right. I won't bore you with the details. I'll just say what most of you already know and have been trying to tell me all along. Moving is hell. We started at 8am Saturday morning when we picked up the U-Haul. We finished getting the stuff out of the old place and into the new place last night at 9pm, which was marked with a finale that saw me take a nasty tumble on my last trip out of the old place. As I lay on the ground, rain falling on my face, my back and knee aching, I had the urge to laugh and laugh and laugh. Had I followed that urge, it would have been the sound of a loon's laugh, echoing through the neighborhood, causing little children to hide under their beds and fathers to grab their shotguns. So I let out a few curses instead. That was my final gift to the old neighborhood; a string of curse words that the kids on the block will be using to entertain at family gatherings for ages. My legacy to my former neighbors. Hey, I didn't miss blogging. Not at all. It might be because I was too busy to think about it. Painting, sanding, ripping, tearing, building, crying, cursing, carrying, navigating Home Depot. All those things probably kept me from even thinking about blogging. Though they didn't keep me from recording every single detail with the camera so I can give you a full historical recording of the move at some point. Before, during and after pictures, including the slow demise of my husband's sunny personality. Oh, and the pictures of DJ laying down the floor in Nat's room. Eleven years old and the kid can put down a tile floor like a pro. It's that anal-retentive gene at work. So, my personal boxscore: Three rooms painted, one floor finished, hardly anything unpacked. It's good to be here at work today, where I will sit in one place for hours and not lift a single thing. When I get home, the cable will have come and gone and I'll have my beloved connection back, I'll have television. And if all goes well, my husband and my father will have put a new floor down in the office and started work on the living room. I have become quite enamored of power tools. I hold one of those babies in my hand, switch on the power and suddenly I! Have! The Power! I stand in the yard, hands on hips in some Homeowner Superhero stance. I've got a power sander in one hand and a chainsaw in the other. I wear a superhero cape of black and orange, and I fight for truth, justice and Black & Decker. Give me some lumber! Bring me the nails! I will turn that shed into a small apartment for the kids! I will make the deck look like it belongs on a cruise ship! Tear down the walls! Sure, I am aching, broke and I don't know where anything I own is. But plugging in a power tool is like having the surge of a thousand amateur home repair mavens coursing through your body at once, all fighting to destroy the shoddy repair work that came before us. I shall conquer this home yet.


Ah, yes, power tools.

the closest this woman will get (or would ever WANT to get, regardless of what Freud said) to having a penis of her own.

My wife is very much a hippie until she gets her hands on the chainsaw. And something gets disappeared. And I realize I better never, ever piss her off unless that sucker is under lock and key.

Chicks with power tools are soo damn sexy!

remember michele: power tool restraint

you passed up a huge opportunity laughing maniacally in the rain when you could have had a saws-all in hand kissing goodbye to the deposit check in a glorious rampage of destruc...

er... just remember you're not in a rental. (on the upside tho, holes in sheetrock are surprisingly easy to repair!)

Michele the Tool Lady!

(Glad things are going as well as they can for a moving.)

It sounds like you've had an exhausting, but satisfying, move -- hope to see pictures when you've finally settled in! :)

You had me at power tools...

Well, at least now your parents won't see all those hookers coming and going. I can't wait to move out of here so that I can have my whores whenever I want them.

I have absolutely no compunction about shooting "melly" and have vast stores of nasty right wingy money to pay off the lawyers necessary to enacting this "muzzling of opinion."
And I got two tickets to the Stadium tonight. Who wants what?

Just in case you don't have experience, and no one has warned you, be aware that the toughest test of a marriage is hanging wallpaper together.

We're safe from that, Angie. Neither of us are fans of wallpaper. It's all about the vivid paint.

POWER TOOLS!! If you think that's power what you need to do is get on a tractor with a belly mower. Now that's power!!
I have used a lot of power tools, I have my own power nailers, but REAL POWER is on a big tractor cutting brush. Hope you get the chance some day. Really fun.

It's a great feeling.

Rrrrrruuhhhh! Rrrrrruuhhhh! RRRRRRRRUUUHHHH!

DA! What Rooskie said!

"But plugging in a power tool..."

I can't believe no one has taken the Beavis-and-Butthead bait of the first two words of that sentence...

During my last move (the 3rd and final move in a single year...) we came up with a nifty ditty...

"what's the chore
that leaves you sore
and costs you lots of buck?


Moving Sucks
Moving Sucks..

We decided to stop at that point. Things were getting broken.

Congrats on the move! It's painful, costly and a royal pain in the ass, but at some point you WILL stop, look around and say to yourself "It's better HERE"...