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Metaphor Storytime

Once upon a time there was a neighborhood where people did work on their house daily. Every day, they would add things on. They did all the work themselves; they researched it, they gathered the materials, they put it all together piece by piece and made it look pretty damn good. This is the town we visit today. One of the residents of this town is particularly pleased - as most of these citizens usually are - with the work she did today. She decides (as she does every day, really) to have an open house, inviting anyone and everyone over to see what she did that morning. People come. They comment. Some people love it, some people hate it, some people make suggestions on how to do it better, yet all of them are mostly polite and those who are hating on the new room are debating the pros and cons of certain decor with those who love it. Sometimes the hostess - the person who designed the entire room - will engage in conversation, but mostly she watches from the sideline, curious to hear what people are saying and quietly watching the door to see who else comes in. This guy comes in. He barges in, we should say. He doesn't make a single comment on the new kitchen, he doesn't remark on the work - good or bad - and he doesn't attempt to engage anyone, not even the hostess, in conversation. He just sticks his head in the door and loudly proclaims "I did my kitchen over today as well and it's much better than this. Come on over to my house everyone!" He finishes his announcement, immediately leaving as soon as he's done. The hostess is kind of flabbergasted. She remarks to one of the guests how obnoxious and rude that man was. The guest concurs and says, you know, if he would have just come in, maybe made a short comment or two about your kitchen and then said 'well I did my kitchen too and maybe some of you might want to come over and see it later when you're done here' well that would have been much more polite. The hostess agrees, but decide to let it go, even though this neighbor has annoyed her previously by sending her, all day and night long, unrequested photos and details of every single thing that goes on in his house during the course of the day. She discovers that he does this to a lot of neighbors, none of whom requested these updates. So she decides to take a walk around the neighborhood to see what everyone else in this home improvement crazed development has been up to today. She see everyone has added at least one thing and, coincidentally, her new kitchen decor has a lot in common with the neigbors' additions. She stops, admires and makes a note that when she gets back home, she will tell her visitors to go see all of these houses. However, she notices something disturbing. At almost all the homes she stops to look at, the owners complain about the same obnoxious man that was at her house earlier. He did the same thing to them; barged in with nary a comment, just shouted that he had something better to see at his house. They all thought it was very rude. And they all thought, well the next time I'm giving a tour of this neighborhood, I am going to skip right by his house. And the moral of this story is: In the world of show and tell, manners mean things. Those without manners will end up with no audience to show or tell their stories. The end.


Um, cool story, I guess people should be more considerate.


  • - underneath her clothes, anyway.


David, you seem confused. Is it because of the metaphor in Michele's post? Because there was no nekkid Jessica when you clicked? Perhaps it was my attempt at humor. See, even though it appears easy, being funny is a difficult endeavor, and the first-thing-in-the-morning hipshot is especially tricky (and dangerous).

By trying to appear as a clueless dolt, and doing exactly what Michele said not to do, I had hoped to both be funny and tweak Michele at the same time, which is a great source of amusement for me when I can pull it off.

Remember, David, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untraveled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure" their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best.
~~Robert Heinlein

Michelle, You are wonderful...

What a subtle and cutting commentary.

But you do understand that the boor will never notice or understand it...



Ok ... who's the blogger who irritated you - and others?

Wonderful. And no, the one(s) it references will never understand.

The one(s) it references won't read it in the first place.

As subtle as a lead pipe, but much too nice on the trolls.

This makes me think (and thinking as I type is always dangerous) that there should be a good method of dealing with such folk. If your blog is small, you can always use Blacklist (or something similar) to keep things clean. On the other hand, I doubt you have time to do this when you get gazillions of comments on every article. I guess what you need when you get big enough are moderators, people you trust to go and delete comments for you given some rules you define. Think of it (going back to the house analogy) like having a part-time cleaning staff that comes in twice a week to scrub the toilets and mop the floors. Just a thought.

I have a feeling I know who you are talking about. (Or maybe there are two of them.)

Update. Nope, just scrolled through some posts before this. Same one. The only reason I haven't redirected his e-mails to trash is that he does come up with some interesting things that I've missed every once in a while.

Not that that excuses his rudeness.

Great story! Hey, come visit my blog! Just go to www.non-existentblog.com and see all my witty remarks.

Oops, i forgot. Don't have one yet.

Err, never mind. :) That sure does sound like a fun neighborhood to visit.

You know, almost every non-left blog has a resident troll. They spew almost exactly the same comments at exactly the same time. And use exactly the same tactics when anyone counters them in any way. Think it's coordinated?

I guess I am the exception to the rule. I'm non-left, and yet all I've got is Ron Hardin being weird.

Oh well.

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